Ask Lemmy

Some places yea, Others no.

I made the mistake of feeling sentimental about places and thinking I could go back. I even did it, by myself, moving 2k miles away from family to return. Everywhere and everyone is constantly evolving. If you are not present and evolving with them, the sentiment is a cruel fallacy. The nostalgia is for a place AND time. Failure to see the role of time leads to a rough lesson.

But yeah I remember. The funny thing for me was driving the old roads. Even in places I was too young and never drove around myself, I have a knack for mapping places in my head. Driving those old roads brings back wild memories especially when I was only very young initially. I recall the map, but I feel oversized in a world intended for little people. It is the only time I have experienced that size dichotomy.

I remember them all. I have fond memories of all of them.

Here's the author Jason Pargin riffing on the topic of nostalgia , and the key takeaways for him are that:

• Nostalgia is toxic because it is the intense grasping for something that is definitionally forever outside of your reach
• Nostalgia is a false rose-colored filter to view things through.

That said, I have a penchant for sentimentality, and fall victim to nostalgia at every given whim I get, especially when visiting my parents' house where I grew up.

I love to allow myself to be transported to the viewpoint of my younger self, which I feel I have lost some connection to.

I often find I was stronger and more worthy than I gave myself credit for.

If only I could properly translate that into the current moment, it would remove a lot of self-doubt that holds me back from living with confident authenticity.

we had to sell my childhood house because it was going to be foreclosed otherwise. Barely even a week after my dad's death. I've broken down every time I've tried to look at the place again, in person or through street view. I just want my home back.

I'm on my 23rd adress now (spread over 6 towns/cities). I have memories attached to each of the places, both good and bad I remember most of the addresses. I've had a pretty chaotic life but am mostly done with that now. I might move again in a few years but for now I'm settled.

I do remember. I don't miss it. Always moved to a place that suited me better, often after a year or so of my circumstances changing so I've got time to get annoyed with my living conditions where I moved from

Still remembering yes, being sentimental no.

Remember them: yes.

Feel anything: it is usually a particular event or something that causes me to bring them to mind, so any feelings will be more tied to the event that caused the memory than the place itself - and that could be good, bad or just unusual. I don't think that I have ever had reason to look at street views of any of them.

Sentimental: not in general. They all had good points and not so good. I enjoyed living in them most of the time, but I enjoy where I am now too.

The closest to sentimental would be when I spent a night at one of the old places some years later. I used to live on site for work, but my role changed. No-one lives there now. It is used for meetings and storage etc, but someone will occasionally sleep-over for one reason or another, as I did on this occasion. That evening I felt like a ghost haunting my own past.

I have moved 14 times in 36 years, not including digs as a touring artist or artist-in-residence, or times where I practically lived at an ex's house.

My first 4 years were spent in a house I barely remenber. I have flashes of: biting a sofa as a toddler and it feeling weird, a family party where everyone was enjoying how much I loved bananas, and watching a rainstorm out of the big window.

Then ages 5-19 i lived in a small village surrounded by farms, rural footpaths with styes and gates - so I have a lot of memories of all sorts of life: from kids playing to being teens with nothing better to do, with sneaking away with partners to fool around in the long grass, to taking walks just to fun...

Over time the village got bigger, this field filled with giant dead logs we used to play on is now houses, some fields we walked across are now fenced in, and my parents retired and moved, so they sold the house and they completely remodeled it: changed the entrance, moved the bathrooms and the kitchen. So yes I feel nostalgic for that, but also change is inevitable so there are experiences lost to time like tears in the rain.

Then after that I've lived in big cities, which as I got older and more financially stable, meant i moved further in to the centers with more stuff to do and more trouble to get up to.

And then coming up on 2 years I bought this house where we plan to stay for a good long while.

I remember every single place I've lived in (over a dozen) and remember the address of most of them; the ones I don't I can look up quite easily

I do feel quite sentimental about two specific places (ironically the two "worst" places I've lived in), not much with most others; one I almost hate with a passion

I've lived in 9 different states (US) and I'm only in my early 30s. Let me count the actual different addresses I've had... 19. And I didn't even count different college dorms as different addresses. I remember them all, but space and time are a blur. I don't really 'belong' anywhere any more, and I don't feel sentimental about any of them.

Edit: got bored and mapped it out. If I wanted to go on a road trip and visit all the different cities, it would be a ~5,500 mile (~8,850 km) trip, optimized for shortest path

Yes, but my memory is not the best for anything not word-based. And I guess I feel a certain amount of nostalgia? I'm glad I was there when I was, and I'm also glad to be where I am today. Finally, I'm a sentimental guy in general but I don't think I feel that intensely about places. 👍

On average I have moved once a year the past 11 years. I remember all of them, but am only nostalgic for my childhood home.

Yes, very sentimental about the memories created in those places.

I tried counting, and I think I've lived in 20+ places. Only 4 during college, so I've just always moved frequently.

I remember everywhere other than the place where I was a baby, which I remember in bits and pieces, but didn't recognize from streetview. There's only that house and the one after it when I was like ages 2-4 that I would want to go back to out of curiosity. The houses felt so huge, and I'm sure they were tiny. Seeing them in streetview is more like teasing a mystery than bringing up memories.

Other than that, I only look at places out of curiosity of how they've changed. Places don't really hold a ton of significance once they become functionally unattached to the emotional arc of one's life.

No, I don't remember all the places. I had a stretch of time not being welcome at my home address, so couch surfed for a couple months. I stayed in at least six different places. That summer is a blur.

Yes. But don't miss/long for it.

We just sold a house after living in it for 25 years. It's where we raised our kids. Before selling i was struggling a bit. The moving out process is exhausting and makes you just want to be done. We inherited a house that needs significant work. The remodeling of that is exciting and the proceeds from our house sale make it possible, so I'm not sad about it at all. My husband likes to drive by to criticize the new owners landscaping.

Yep. 50+ yo, every once in a while I wind up driving past a place I lived and reminiscing. My mom was a navy brat and moved around a LOT, we still every once in a while go drive by some place or other that she used to live growing up.

I still can’t believe they built a housing development all over my crayfish creek 😡

I remember a lot of the different places I've lived. I feel somewhat sentimental of the places I've lived, mainly as it represents different parts of our lives.

After my stepdad died, I helped the hazmat crew clean out the house I grew up in, due to his extreme hoarding. Once the house was empty, I took a look around, just to see if I felt anything. All I felt was the loss of my family history, to the rats.

no they all sucked except the first one and the last one.

Very much yes. I've been lucky with nearly all of my living arrangements. Some hold memories of bad or sad moments but I've had far more good memories in each.

I'm only sentimental about my childhood home, and my parents still live there so I can relive those fond memories whenever I want. The area around it has changed a lot though, and it makes me feel a bit wistful thinking of how it used to be. I guess this is how you realise you're old.

100% yes, particularly having done it multiple times. Each place represents a particular arc of my life to this point, and I get a little sentimental/pensive about it if cruising streetview or, much more intensely, going back there.

An interesting feeling that pops up with this sometimes: you ever 100% a video game level (Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 specifically came to mind for me) and replay it afterwards? You can still do stuff, still walk around, but there's a sense of emptiness compared to when you still had goals there. Those are now long finished and not to be repeated. The game's progressed elsewhere.

I've also experienced had a new, related feeling following a recent visit for a show in one of these places, given some recent life changes. Very much like when you reach the end of a stage later in the game, and something new unlocks in those earlier levels.

Life's fucking weird man.

My grandparents had a summer home on a river that I don’t a lot of summers at when growing up, until I was about 20 or so. (I’m now knocking on the door of 60). The place was sold in my mid 20’s when my grandparents both passed away. I check it out on Google from time to time, and I’ve seen moderate changes over the years, but it still looks mostly the same. I’m a bit sentimental about it since I spent so many fun summers there.

Not true of their next door neighbors. The neighbors house no longer exists. It was apparently completely torn down and replaced. The biggest giveaway from the perspective of Google is that there is now a swimming pool between the house and the river that wasn’t there a few years ago, and the driveway is a completely new layout as well.

I remember some places more than others, and I might have forgotten one or two. I moved around a lot from ages 18 to 32.

Sentimental? Only a bit about the house I grew up in. But, my parents owned it until their deaths, so I was there somewhat regularly. We sold it a few years back when dad died. I've lived in my own house for nearly 30 years now, I'm not at all sentimental about it. It's just a roof over my head for me and my son.

I suppose I'm more sentimental about my childhood, than the house I grew up in, come to think of it.

What do you think Ulysses is about?

Thankfully the only such place is my parents, and I can visit that.
Idk how I'll deal when they eventually have to sell it. They built it themselves a few years before I was born.

I've currently lived in the same apartment for about 10 years, but I worry that when we eventually move, my child will miss it and won't really have a way to visit it again.

I miss one of them or rather the surrounding fields and river. But it's nearby and I occasionally drive there to go for a walk.