I tried to watch an episode of The Big Bang Theory once 🤢
this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2025
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The laugh track.
It ruins so. Many. Shows.
I mean .. maybe I'm wrong here. But if you wrote actual funny things, I'd laugh. Idk. I'm probably wrong.
Oddly, though, you can't just cut it out from shows that have it, especially if they actually film in front of a live audience, though even those with canned laughter are playing in the same sandbox. The pacing and the vibe gets completely thrown off because the writers and actors have to account for the laughs, and it becomes eerie without them. It's a different style of making TV that's seeking a different type of reaction from the TV audience, and has different limitations. Understanding that can let you enjoy the best examples of the form (admittedly almost all 20 years old or more). Stock characters slinging zingers and potentially doing pratfalls can be amusing (though the form has a direct lineage to radio shows so it tends to be light but verbal -- the physicality is a huge part of what made I Love Lucy groundbreaking), but it doesn't shine when trying to do cringe, nuance, dramedy, or densely packed humor.
This is not to say that you should watch The Big Bang Theory. You should not. It's awful. The easy tropes and low cost of production (other than stars' salaries if a show takes off) means that so much garbage has been done in this format, I daresay higher than single-camera "movie style" shows. It's just that it's not quite so simple as "write more funnier."
IMO, it's almost like telling a musical theater writing team that their play would be better if the characters weren't constantly breaking into song. For the record, my instincts and tastes leave me sympathetic to that last point, so I just don't watch many musicals, live or recorded. It's not that they're bad; the appeal is just lost on me. Same with multi-cam sitcoms with laugh-tracks.
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—sees a woman in a game store—
"Ummmm is she lost?" —scoff—
—laugh track plays—
Unironically actually in the show.
I stopped watching TV when my favourite channel lost access to several shows and turned into a TBBT re-run channel. Four. Fucking. Episodes. Every day. The series looped about once every two months.
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My father got big into that show. Destroyed his ability to hold a conversation, because Every. Single. Fucking. Thing. You. Say. To. Him. "Reminds me of this thing that happened on Big Bang Theory where Sheldon...
He's got a litany of shitty sitcoms he can't just fucking stop with. "Character says something." laugh track "Well other character says sumn else!" laugh track. "Maternal and/or love interest character walks across room, touches character's arm, says something about feelings." canned manufactured pindrop silence "Character says sumn else!" laugh track
Fuck your ventricles.
Cocaine. It was VERY fun. I fucking loved it.
I haven't touched it since. I just knew the hole it would lead me down.
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i went to subway recently... the sandwich place. holy hell what a pile of expensive dogshit.
When you could get $5 foot longs it was worth it. But sammiches are like $15 now.
And then I read once there is so much sugar in the bread that in Europe it would be considered cake.
Maybe next time try the expensive tuna instead of dogshit.
Had a wedding.
Rookie mistake.. Hopefully you're fully recovered, as I am...
A couple years ago I was out hunting with a friend and we saw a porcupine. My dad had always told me they were delicious and it was in season so I took my shot. Once we had the meat I thought I would take the hide home and harvest the quills.
Good. Lord. Porcupines are filthy creatures. I had a Rubbermaid full of soapy water and I was pulling the quills and guard hairs out and then trying to wash them free of literal shit.
But basically all I was doing was shit-needle acupuncture all over my hands. I was sure I was gonna end up with some sort of porcupine aids or something.
I spent a good 3-4 hours trying to clean the largest of the quills and guard hairs, and then I said fuck it. Took my fistfull of "clean" quills and put the rest in a few old paper bags and into the green bin.
I found quills in my clothes almost a year later. While visiting a friends house in jeans I had NOT been wearing, while out ice fishing (in the bibs I wore), in my sock one day.
I'm sure there aren't that many people on here that have been considering taking a porcupine and trying to weave/craft with its quills. But please, don't do it.
I need to go right now and wash the few quills I received from a porcupine zoo experience. They keep quills that are shed and hand a few out to folks. Poop acupuncture, omg. Since you appear to have survived, your poop antibodies must be off the charts now. 😅
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Gave birth.
Yup. One-and-done.
Salvia Divinorum
At one point in time I could probably have been convinced to try a lot of things. Fortunately for me (probably) Salvia Divinorum was the first thing I tried after marijuana, and it so thoroughly destroyed any notion I had that I could control my experience that it put me off trying just about everything else I was curious about.
Thank god the entire experience is single digit minutes.
Oh man, I think it’s a fantastic and intense single digit minute experience.
My first time I turned into a big red and white circus tent. The stretching out I experienced was fucking crazy, and I screamed in laughter and horror. It was wild.
I can understand it not being someone’s cup of tea, but the hysterical laughter has been in every salvia trip I’ve done.
I had no hallucinations - they may have been inhibited by my absolute panic.
It was a very long time ago for me but from what I can recall -
I felt immediately mostly disconnected from my body, and like I was constantly falling or about to fall. I essentially laid there starfished on the bed telling myself over and over that it was supposed to be really short and wondering if I'd just killed myself until it passed, then got up and decided I'd never touch that shit again.
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Anal(probably)
No me gusto poopoo en mi peepee
Oral sex is a high-end sports car; it can be incredibly impressive based on the driver. Vaginal is a luxury sedan. A handjob is public transit; it gets you there eventually, but eh.
Anal is the jeep of sex. Yeah you might get dirty, it's a little rough, but some people just love off-roading in their jeep. And if that's what they're into, then they're probably really into it.
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I went to a Young Life gathering to try and meet people at uni freshman year. The first one was a slightly awkward BBQ at someone's off campus house. The second was on campus event that dropped off into that Uncanny Valley of mormon-like sing-alongs and activities.
My buddy and I surveyed the room, felt the hair on the back of our necks prickle, and we got out of there.
If you've seen Heretic or The Endless, it gave off those religious vibes. Too happy/smiley. Too weirdly perfect. Everyone talking about volunteering at kids camps over the summer and how fulfilling it was.
Like, I'm glad that people found something they liked. But it wasn't people talking about real stuff, like their awesome mountain biking adventure over the summer, or volunteering overseas to rescue animals, or even getting over alcoholism. It was all hyper religious forced positivity, and this is coming from someone who grew up religious.
Technically, I guess this was twice, but the mari-hwanas.
Smoked a little in a perfectly lovely part of Amsterdam with my wife, who importantly is NOT a chronic overthinker who was raised by uptight Southern-fried Mormons, but I just immediately got paranoid and was obsessed with the likelihood that two random Dutch guys were staring at me and planning something bad. The fact that ten years later I still think it was possible they were eyeing us, while she is completely dismissive, tells me I do not need to be smoking pot.
Also tried some edibles in the hotel room, but that just made me sleepy with nothing particularly fun happening, though admittedly nothing bad happened either. Very "Meh."
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Bungee jumping.
I didn't even want to do it to begin with, I just got in the wrong line for the big waterslide at Manteca Waterslides and said "fuck it, why not?"
Hated it. And this was in a special location, with a giant air bag under you. I can't imagine base jumping from a bridge or on the side of a mountain of something. 😨
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Tried snowboarding, never again.
Turns out, your legs need to be really strong, or you’ll have your hands on the ground too often. If that happens like every minute, your shoulders are not going to be pleased with that. I have a feeling that this short experiment may have caused some minor damage my physiotherapist was unable to detect.
I never understood that. When snowboarding, you can just rotate to brake, and then you can just sit to take a break if you want. Heck, you can even do the leaf down a whole slope, easily and safely, and it's still kind of fun.
Meanwhile, skiing requires superhuman leg strength, even if you just want to go slowly, and will twist your legs in gruesome ways when you fall.
If skiing takes a lot of physical work, that's a sign that your stance is off. You can ski almost anywhere just by shifting your body weight from one foot to the other. Back when I was a ski instructor, my old boss (a ski instructor of multiple decades) used to say that skiing is a "skeletal" sport, not a "muscular". If you're working hard it's likely because there's something wrong with your stance and you're subconsciously using your muscles to compensate. The most common specific example of this I saw in my lessons (and had a habit of myself which I've been working on for years) was skier's quads burning out, because they were leaning back (consciously or not), because they lacked confidence (consciously or not).
I've come to learn that this advice applies to any physical activity. You can tell a master by their economy of movement, whether it's snow sports, playing an instrument, martial arts, or tossing haybails. Use weight and momentum, don't fight it.
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Go to a concert. I was young, but it was so loud and crowded that I cried. I know that's the concert experience, but it's too much for me. I don't do live performances that aren't theater/Orchestra.
Paid extra in a movie. Worst $80 I've ever earned.
Funny how being an unpaid extra is a totally different experience. It was a giant party. I was in the crowd at the Steelers stadium when Bane blew up the field in Dark Knight Rises. We had to crouch down behind seats and look terrified. We couldn't fucking understand anything of what Bane was saying, but assumed it would be fixed in post. Haha, no it wasn't.
We had swag bags. They brought out 3 Tumblers to amuse us. Most Steelers players were there, Tom Hardy ofc (who didn't even look like himself he was so jacked for that role). We got to hear what it sounds like when that 1 of 4 in existence IMAX camera broke. They fed us lots of Popsicles because it was 90-something degrees in July and they were filming a winter scene and wanted us to be wearing cold weather gear. It was a fun day. 10/10 worth the drive up from DC to go do that.
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Snow skiing. After about the 50th time falling over I said "I'm not enjoying this at all," took off my skis, and enjoyed the rest of the day not falling over.
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hydro massage. one of the worst physical sensations I've ever experienced. imagine being poked by an annoying toddler through a canvas tarp 100 times a second and also the tarp is warm and there are LOUD water sounds and your skin starts itching and just NOOOOOOPE
I'll stick with the regular massage chairs and actual massage therapy!
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Not because I needed confirmation, but because I thought it might be a way to connect to other with similar worldviews...
I joined an atheist meetup group. Well, let me just say the only thing we had in common was just that, the atheistic view.
Beyond that it was a random mishmash of people with whom I had nothing in common. And it was immediately revealed to me that there is some kind of sickness in the overall community of those folks, I immediately realized how insane it was to continually discuss something that you don't believe exists.
I mean yeah, we were all coming because of the stated reason of shared atheistic view, but how irrational is it to hyperfocus on something that doesn't exist???
And the other thing, I assumed there would be some kind of intellectual rigor that was present in each person that came to be an atheist, and I found that was not the truth at all. These folks were just as ludicrous and ridiculous as people that believe in homeopathy and every other nonsensical concept.
I couldn't get the hell out of there fast enough, and I will never ever go back. I will never socialize with anybody who's identity is so deeply tied to atheism
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Whippets. I had this awful sensation of being frozen in a horrible moment of eternity while my friends looked on in amusement, not realizing I was experiencing timeless hell.
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Paintball.
Took a hit directly on the neck the first time I tried it. Had a big sun shaped yellow and purple bruise on my neck for weeks.
Pass.
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I went on one of those rides that lifts you in the air, then drops you until you reach the bottom. Never again. Couldn't sleep for weeks after that.
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I went to professional thai massage therapy recommended by my colleagues. I had extreme reservations because of... well, you know, it's a thai massage. But my colleagues swore that the salon was legit, very professional, articulate staff, no sexual component included, very relaxing, does wonders for your neck. So what the hell, as a desk jockey my neck hurts all the time, I'll give it a try.
Cautiously, I booked a neck and shoulder massage online. When I turned up, there was no receptionist, just a harried-looking middle-aged thai lady who spoke not a word of any language comprehensible to me. She hustled me into a bare room with a forlorn massage table in the middlle, and told me via Google Translate to remove my clothes.
Startled to obedience, I removed my button-up shirt and approached the table. This did not go down well with the lady, who prodded me with a bony finger and indicated that t-shirt and trousers should go too. I tried to point out that I had booked a neck and shoulders massage but to no avail. CLOTHES OFF SIR nagged the phone screen.
So there I was, in my embarrassing tighty whities shivering in a cold room, wishing I had worn my "Sounds GAY I'm in" boxers, undoubtedly about to be ravished by an increasingly annoyed thai lady who kept prodding and poking me towards the table.
I'll not go into details about what happened, except it was not in any way what I was expecting. She mauled me with a strength of dozen bears, cracking my joints, pulverizing my buttocks. She turned my unwilling chubby body into such contortions that I had to squeeze my sphincter shut as if my life depended on it, in order not to rip out a series of massive farts. I'll give her that there indeed was no happy ending, but it was an hour of absolute agony and I when I finally limped out, tears in my eyes, belt undone and my shirt buttons crooked, I felt like I had been waterboarded by CIA for weeks.
I don't think I need to say that it was the first and last massage in my life.
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Recently? I got graston done on my knees (https://painhero.ca/blog/the-graston-technique-what-is-it-and-how-effective-is-it)
Might work well for some, but I could barely walk for a week.
So, what? Are they just crushing your muscle fibers with meat tenderizers and hoping it heals back better? That looks... unsettling.
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