Home to all things "Mildly Infuriating" Not infuriating, not enraging. Mildly Infuriating. All posts should reflect that. Please post actually infuriating posts to !actually_infuriating@lemmy.world
I want my day mildly ruined, not completely ruined. Please remember to refrain from reposting old content. If you post a post from reddit it is good practice to include a link and credit the OP. I'm not about stealing content!
It's just good to get something in this website for casual viewing whilst refreshing original content is added overtime.
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
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2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means: -No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
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3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
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4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
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5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
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7. Content should match the theme of this community.
-Content should be Mildly infuriating. If your post better fits !Actually_Infuriating put it there.
-The Community !actuallyinfuriating has been born so that's where you should post the big stuff.
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8. Reposting of Reddit content is permitted, try to credit the OC.
-Please consider crediting the OC when reposting content. A name of the user or a link to the original post is sufficient.
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Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
Reach out to LillianVS for inclusion on the sidebar.
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules.
Incel behavior includes using "female" as a noun when talking about women. Using "female" as an adjective is perfectly normal and common. It is fine to write "female coworker" instead of "coworker who is a woman."
Some people are hypersensitive to wrongspeak.
I don't think people are bothered by "female coworker", which is perfectly normal. It's the reference to a "female-only" community, when the actual com is called WomensStuff and describes itself as "women only" and "a women's community".
Maybe it's just me, but in female-only community, I'm using female as part of a composed adjective. I'd say male-only community too, it just feels more natural. In fact, in an earlier comment I wrote women only, and then writing man only felt SO bad that I changed both to female and male.
Now that I think about it it's probably because I used man instead of men. I'll change both back but OOP miiight have followed my logic? Idk
It's just....the internet I guess?
Go into the various "Ask" communities, and you'll see things like this constantly:
Women of Lemmy, what's something that...?
As a man, I .....
Americans of Lemmy, what is your favorite...?
As a European, I....
Definitely mildly infuriating when people just butt in when they're explicitly not the target audience of the question. If I'm somehow doing that with this reply, lol, I apologetically appreciate the irony.
I've accidentally commented in that community more than once when it was a generic post...but the top comment nowadays is a reminder of the rules.
Very, very different than the examples you describe
It is significantly more likely to read:
“Europeans of Lemmy……?”
“As an American……!”
That's community's mods are super nice. Probably too nice TBH.
...But yeah. Follow community rules, or post elsewhere. What is so hard about that?
I think it's hard simply because browsing by /all, or even by communities you follow and then just in your main thread, is not set up to highlight the community or it's rules. If something hits the front page of /all I'm rarely digging into the communities specific rules or even where it's coming from to an extent. Only to say, it's a learned behavior to care about the communities specifically in this site aggregator system.
All of that being said, people of course should respect community rules and learn the behavior of identifying what room they're in before engaging with that community. I'm just not surprised when these flimsy barriers fail.
Is the best behavior to block any community you don't or can't participate in? I personally don't love that behavior because I like seeing what everyone is discussing in threads, but that's a reasonable solution. Obviously my current strat is just reading the community before posting (like not commenting negatively about Star Gate getting a new season in the star gate community as an example that happened today lol).
Wandering in, missing the rule sign, getting corrected, and apologizing is fine. I've done it; the mods there couldn't have been nicer about it. It's not an ideal system, no, but it works well enough; it's the mods shouldering that burden more than anything.
...The problem is when the guys are corrected, yet keep talking anyway. Which I see happen a lot.
There is no excuse for that.
Is the best behavior to block any community you don’t or can’t participate in? I personally don’t love that behavior because I like seeing what everyone is discussing in threads, but that’s a reasonable solution.
I feel extremely mixed about this, yeah. I feel weird even talking about it.
I personally don’t love that behavior because I like seeing what everyone is discussing in threads, but that’s a reasonable solution.
The women's space... doesn't prohibit lurking? On one hand, the community is public, and I'm curious about the perspective in the discussions. I'm interested in understanding them so I can be a more respectful person myself.
I upvote their posts so they get more exposure.
...But I don't want to violate their privacy either. Blocking is reasonable. Right now, I just upvote them but don't enter the threads.
Obviously my current strat is just reading the community before posting (like not commenting negatively about Star Gate getting a new season in the star gate community as an example that happened today lol).
Read the room, yeah.
IMO TV fandoms shouldn't worship their material. Negative discussion is allowed, otherwise the space gets toxic.
In fact, this kinda happened to one of my personal fandom spaces, /r/thelastairbender: among other things, they idolize ATLA (the original series) like a diety, to the point where anything different (including other material like Korra or the Netflix adaption) is demonized. Deeper stuff like the novels, fanfics or speculative lore is not welcome either.
That sucks. It's all too common; the Star Wars fandom (for instance) is notorious for it. And its why some negativity and 'outsider perspectives' should be welcomed in such spaces.
The women's space is different though. It's basically a shelter from the shit this group puts up with IRL and online, so being more sensitive makes sense.
I agree that the guy in the post is mildlyinfuriating at best, and much more likely a douche (never hear a woman use male as a noun like that, a very particular shibboleth). But I'm not sure I love. This community becoming half posts picking on specific users. Should we blur the usernames? Otherwise its an easy path to brigading and bullying.
I saw that post too. I noticed it was a woman-only space and muted it. Godspeed to them, people deserve to have communities like that.
Same. I have a bad habit of shitposting into a comment section only to later see which community it was in. So I preemptively blocked them. The only community I did so, not to protect myself, but others.
Segregated anything is fucking dumb. Segregated internet communities are especially fucking dumb because anyone can be anyone on the internet.
Congratulations, you're the man they're trying to forget exists for 10 fucking minutes a day in their off time!
A segregated internet would be more like if they had a whole version of Lemmy for all topics but only for women, and then didn't also participate in the other one.
This is just one community calm the hell down they can have their space.
If they want their own space, they are just bigots. That's what they called me when I excluded them from the general space in the past!
-the people arguing against that comm, probably
You've angered the incels.
Fuck em. "Oh but it's a free Internet people can participate wherever they want"
Yeah you have a right to be a total dickwad and scream in people's faces at the grocery store, don't be surprised when everyone thinks you're an ass though. They don't want your input. That. Simple.
That's really ignoring a mountain of history. Up until a decade ago, "there are no girls on the internet" was a common saying.
I just see it as a way to foster and encourage an under represented segment of the community. It feels completely valid when that segment is still often met with hostility from weirdos.
Also I wonder how it would look if we made a Men's Club community where only men were allowed and women were openly mob-scolded for participating. Would probably be considered a pretty sexist environment.
Literally nothing is stopping you from creating a community for men with a rule that only men participate. The difference is that in the community you're thinking about though, women wouldn't be constantly trying to mess with it. There are hundreds of communities to choose from. We're not entitled to participate in them all.
/c/dull_mens_club@lemmy.world
FWIW that community is just inspired by something that already exists outside of social media. The community owner kept !dull_mens_club@lemmy.world up since it's pretty active, but the new official/recommended one for dull stuff is !Dullsters@dullsters.net . They explicitly wanted it to be more inclusive (not that DMC was only restricted to men posting).
The official Dull Men's Club website encourages women to participate as well, so I don't think it should be considered as a men-only community:
Though it started with men, women now belong too.
Oh good. I don't follow this com, another comment tipped me off.
While I do enjoy a little bit of chaos and schadenfreude, it would be nice to block out user names. Call out the mistake, not the person.
Most people here are lovely, but it only takes one match to start a fire. Might as well address some bullshit in these comments since I'm gonna get trolled by incels anyway...
side note: I'm not a mod there.
The women's com is trans and non-binary inclusive. Anyone who feels at home there (and is respectful) is welcome.
It's not all bitching about men. Looking at the last twenty posts, one was about men and two were related to men. We talk about pads and health and essays and positivity memes and do fun activities on fridays.
I support men making their own support groups. Although the internet itself often feels like a menfolk support group(to me,) I'm sure there are plenty of things an easy to find, curated space, could offer men who want to be just a little more vulnerable, knowing they would be supported by the mods if any toxic women came in to devalue their opinions and experience.
I blocked this community a while ago so I don’t accidentally view/comment on it
I saw this play out and there were more than one of these users breaking the rules on that sub. I guess it’s tempting to want to comment on a first page thread, but boundaries exist for a reason. I don’t really see women going into incel spaces, making incels uncomfortable. Still, what it looked like was most of these men knew this wasn’t a community for them, but figured that their comments were so invaluable, how could it exist without their imput. It’s pathetic.
i usually browse by all and have sometimes accidentally have commented on the women’s stuff comm. The first time I did it they left my comment up (I didn’t know it was exclusively a women’s comm I thought it was a focus on women) but gave me a friendly reminder that it is womens stuff. Anyways I’ve also almsot commented in that comm a few times and only noticed it after reading comments
ANYWAYS that was longer than I anticipated but all I can excuse is accidentally commenting, the actual behavior is not especially since they said it they knew it was a women only community. IMO that’s not ok since I’m sure of what OOP was doing was allowed or “as a man…” was allowed, 90% of the comm would be men effectively destroying the women only space
I can understand a mistake, and like I read on the original thread and on here; the mods are really nice. It just really shouldn’t happen more than once imo. I also feel bad for the mods literally trying to keep a space designated for woman safe. When I first saw the group, and the rules- It was confusing but I think it’s understandable. There’s not 100 of these spaces, and the rules should be understandable for anyone who thought of participating.
I agree the mods are lovely. IDR who the mod that replied to me was or even if they were a mod but they essentially said it’s ok mistakes happen just don’t let it happen again
I think they’re really good at differentiating people who accidentally step into the space like me, VS people invading like the person in the screenshot
But yeah if any women’s stuff mods are reading this, yall are great
As a man.... just stating that it has nothing to do with the rest of my comment, but when I see those communities I just filter and move on. I do the same for all the gross *Moe communities with cartoon children dressed inappropriately.
I enjoy that community as a non-participant. A user's decision to merely interact can reveal much more than they intended to reveal - super interesting to me. Just the existence of the community pits dudes with insecurities against their own lack of self control or social tact, for all to see.
Future me might comment there too quickly after overlooking the community name. I'll get a warranted Tsk and I'll see myself out. No big deal. It's not a kick in the nuts unless I make it one.
I find it interesting how men regularly insert themselves into places or communities that are not designed for their specific label. I want to wonder what it is about women specifically that really makes men so uncomfortable about women having a place to discuss the world amongst themselves. But it doesn't take long to see a common trend that appears which is a man is attempting to push their dominance over a situation.
Often times a comment begins with "As a man..." and it's obvious the commenter is positioning themselves as an "authoritative" voice. Placing themselves higher than the women in a woman's community. As if their words, experiences or perspectives hold more weight then the other people in this community not designed for men.
I often see this behaviour also within men's communities such as Men's Liberation. It confuses me greatly to see "As a man..." comments in the Men's Liberation community because why do you need to declare your man status, in a men's community, talking about men's issues?? It seems to me it's about placing their own thoughts, experiences and perspectives over the other, "lesser" men in the community. Often those comments ignore the message of the article or video while adding absolutely nothing additional to the conversation. They just stated they are men. That's it.
The same men that argue against a segregated internet would not hesitate to join a men's only community in real life or not. It's not even a conscious effort for them to join a men's only community. So when a community appears that doesn't include them, I imagine it must feel insulting to be excluded this one time.
There's over 8 billion people on this planet with over 8 billion different experiences, not everyone is going to relate to everything all the time. An individual's experience is not universal. An individual's experience does not give them authority over another groups experiences. Spending a life trying to dominate everything around yourself is an impossible task because there will always be people who will defy your authority. Nature in general doesn't have a single fuck to give about one person's dominance.
Good on the women who persist to exist in men dominant spaces. It's a steep uphill battle. It's an exhausting battle that seems never ending. I recently read how some of these women only communities operate behind the scenes and how they deal with certain issues. It showed how much effort they put into their community. I have an even greater appreciation for their existence now and I hope they continue to exist and grow.
Yeah, that definitely is annoying to have a man invade a space specifically for women, speaking as a man. You certainly ain't doing any favors by going onto a woman's space to reply to their posts if you're a man.
