this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2025
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Mildly Infuriating
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I find it interesting how men regularly insert themselves into places or communities that are not designed for their specific label. I want to wonder what it is about women specifically that really makes men so uncomfortable about women having a place to discuss the world amongst themselves. But it doesn't take long to see a common trend that appears which is a man is attempting to push their dominance over a situation.
Often times a comment begins with "As a man..." and it's obvious the commenter is positioning themselves as an "authoritative" voice. Placing themselves higher than the women in a woman's community. As if their words, experiences or perspectives hold more weight then the other people in this community not designed for men.
I often see this behaviour also within men's communities such as Men's Liberation. It confuses me greatly to see "As a man..." comments in the Men's Liberation community because why do you need to declare your man status, in a men's community, talking about men's issues?? It seems to me it's about placing their own thoughts, experiences and perspectives over the other, "lesser" men in the community. Often those comments ignore the message of the article or video while adding absolutely nothing additional to the conversation. They just stated they are men. That's it.
The same men that argue against a segregated internet would not hesitate to join a men's only community in real life or not. It's not even a conscious effort for them to join a men's only community. So when a community appears that doesn't include them, I imagine it must feel insulting to be excluded this one time.
There's over 8 billion people on this planet with over 8 billion different experiences, not everyone is going to relate to everything all the time. An individual's experience is not universal. An individual's experience does not give them authority over another groups experiences. Spending a life trying to dominate everything around yourself is an impossible task because there will always be people who will defy your authority. Nature in general doesn't have a single fuck to give about one person's dominance.
Good on the women who persist to exist in men dominant spaces. It's a steep uphill battle. It's an exhausting battle that seems never ending. I recently read how some of these women only communities operate behind the scenes and how they deal with certain issues. It showed how much effort they put into their community. I have an even greater appreciation for their existence now and I hope they continue to exist and grow.
women insert themselves into men's spaces too.
why is it that you inherently value women over men?
Is this all there is to comment after I pointed out my observations about men dominating spaces? Should I have also pointed out how much more frequent it is for men to invade other people's safe spaces and not other people invading men's spaces?
Where did I say I inherently value women over men? I can appreciate others without putting others above me from a hierarchy perspective.
because that's the default social perspective you seem to be implicitly reinforcing.
man bad. woman good.
In my life experience someone being an insufferable twat has nothing ot do with their sex identity and the distribution of twats is more on less on par among sexes. However, people generally give shitty women and their crappy behavior a way larger pass than men for the same offensive actions. And that's institutionalized in our laws.
and as for the authoritative voice... that's just what people do. pulling rank is part of the social game way all play to push ourselves up over one another. 'as an x' can be anything. it's a rhetorical device.
If I was quoted directly I might be able to understand what I am implicitly reinforcing. Otherwise this seems like a personal attack and a distraction from the conversation I laid out in my first comment.
There are many laws in the world that vary greatly from region to region, are we totally sure women have more freedom in comparison to men in the way they act? I would like to see support for such a claim. A claim that involves half the population.
Being social is not a game. It's a thing people and also a wide variety of other animals do. It's done for a wide variety of reasons. There are people who dedicate their lives to observe other animals and understand the complexity of being social. It's not fair to reduce 8 billion people to a single category from a single person's social experience.
That sucks that people have to experience social moments as a constant struggle to push themselves over each other. It's definitely not the only way to live. There are communities online and offline, past and present that are able to exist without constant conflict within their social circles or communities. It involves being open and willing to accept others just as they are. If someone does not want to be open or accepting, then of course they will be angry or miserable.
Personally, I've made efforts throughout all my life to distance myself from people who think being social is a game. Today I surround myself with people who caring and loving without the need to be dominant over each other. It's possible with a lot of work and persistence. I could blame others for feeling miserable but then I would never ever be happy.