Common Sense.
this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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That's the brother of Frankincense.
Ferytrue! ¯\(ツ)/¯
Uranium-235.
Hey, let's keep it baby-appropriate. I'd bring him the entire DVD box set collection of Baby Einstein videos but they'd reject my offering because DVD players & electricity didn't exist back then, and they wouldn't understand the concept of vegetating while staring at a flat surface on the wall for hours ignoring all your bodily needs & ignoring all your chores & obligations & family & all human interaction.
Labuubuu. What the crap is a baby gonna do with some frankincense anyway?
Booze.
The Bubba photos.
A pack of disposable diapers. They understandably looked at me weird because they hadn't been invented yet.
Glock w a switch
A mother***king MERRY CHRYSLER
Pumpkin pie
You brought a delicacy made from fruits that grow in a land none of them has ever heard of. That'd be pretty remarkable.
Damn right. Nothing beats pumpkin pie, especially around Christmas.
Guikt for the eventual damage done in his name.
A bible.
A gift card.
Health insurance
Private Investigator results. Divine conception sounds sus.
A Glock and some ammo, got thrown out when I tried to demonstrate it, apparently I distrubed the peace...
A circumcision? :3 feel free to delete my comment I just don't think it's thought about enough
do you find yourself thinking of Jesus' baby penis often?
Nope never thought of him being circumcised until this question even, and I only give the answer because honestly, I think it's the real answer
I brought a nicely written certificate saying their Christmas present was that a donation had been made in their name. None of them could read. It didn't go over well.
Poison
The means to properly document Jesus' existence so that we had even one shred of actual evidence that any of this stuff happened.
There weren't 3 wise men.