Hossenfeffer

I've spent the last few days reenacting the Chicago Bears @ Philadelphia Eagles game. So, pretty new, I think?

I see your Irish Rover and raise you A rainy night in Soho with Nick Cave.

Yeah, Lemmy wasn't acting. He was living it.

Axl Rose is...the reason the “musician trashes hotel room” stereotype exists.

Heh. Sweet summer child.

Keith Richards and the Rolling Stones, Keith Moon and the Who, and Led Zeppelin would all like a word.

I saw Shane MacGowan (and the Popes) at some festival or other. The dude was clearly shit-faced, hardly able to stand, and slurring like crazy as he babbled at the crowd. But, once the music kicked in, he sang like he always sings. I guess that probably means he's always shit-faced.

It’s beyond the environment. It’s not in an environment. It’s been towed beyond the environment.

This is Toad The Wet Sprocket, of course!

"Rex Stardust, lead electric triangle with Toad The Wet Sprocket, has had to have an elbow removed following their recent successful worldwide tour of Finland. Flamboyant, ambidextrous Rex apparently fell off the back of a motorcycle. "Fell off the back of a motorcyclist, most likely," quipped ace drummer Jumbo McClooney on hearing of the accident. Plans are already afoot for a major tour of Iceland.

"Divorced after only eight minutes, popular television singing star Charisma changed her mind on the way out of the registry office, when she realised she'd married one of the Donkeys by mistake. The evening before, in LA's glittering night spot The Abbatoir, she'd proposed to drummer Reg Abbott of Blind Drunk, after a whirlwind romance and a knee-trembler. But when the hangover lifted, it was Keith Sly of the Donkeys who was on her arm in the registry office. Keith, who was too ill to notice, remained unsteady during the short ceremony and, when asked to exchange vows, began to recite names and addresses of people who also used the stuff. Charisma spotted the error as Keith was being carried into the wedding ambulance, and became emotionally upset. However, the mistake was soon cleared up, and she stayed long enough to consummate their divorce.

"Dead Monkeys are to split up again, according to their manager Lefty Goldblatt. They've been in the business now ten years, nine as other groups. Originally the Dead Salmon, they became, for a while, Trout, then Fried Trout, then Poached Trout In A White Wine Sauce, and finally, Herring. Splitting up for nearly a month, they reformed as Red Herring, which became Dead Herring for a while, and then Dead Loss, which reflected the current state of the group. Splitting up again to get their heads together, they reformed a fortnight later as Heads Together, a tight little name which lasted them through a difficult period when their drummer was suspected of suffering from death. It turned out to be only a rumour, and they became Dead Together, then Dead Gear, which led to Dead Donkeys, Lead Donkeys, and the inevitable splitup. After nearly ten days, they reformed again as Sole Meunière, then Dead Sole, Rock Cod, Turbot, Haddock, White Bait, the Plaices, Fish, Bream, Mackerel, Salmon, Poached Salmon, Poached Salmon in a White Wine Sauce, Salmon Meunière, and Helen Shapiro. This last name, their favourite, had to be dropped following an injunction, and they split up again. When they reformed after a record-breaking two days, they ditched the fishy references and became Dead Monkeys, a name which they stuck with for the rest of their careers. Now, a fortnight later, they've finally split up."

4th, apparently after Christie, Barbara Cartland, and Danielle Steel. What entertains me is in 5th is Enid Blyton with 800 books!

7th of male and female authors.

Pfft. Rowling's sold an estimated 600-650 million books (22 titles). Agatha Christie sold an estimated 2-4 billion books (86 titles).

Socks.

Awesome, and you can get them in different colors, like grey, or black, or blue, or beige. Not white though. White socks are only for playing sports.

Oh crap, I bought some bin bags. I don’t think they were on sale though.

I grew up in a small town in rural Scotland and now live in a city in England. So I miss the fields, the sea, the hills, the forests, the food, the people, the closeness, the pace of life, the community.