this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2025
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[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 102 points 1 day ago (3 children)

To be fair, this dude singlehandedly carried out a submarine attack.

[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 44 points 1 day ago

A ballistic missile is a type of missile that follows a ballistic trajectory and is powered only during a relatively brief initial period—most of the flight is unpowered.

It's practically an act of war if you think about it.

[–] baronvonj@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The DoJ is on the hunt, for bread October.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

The Cunt for Bread October.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Hoagie handgrenade.

[–] aarch0x40@lemmy.world 76 points 1 day ago (4 children)

The US Attorney prosecuting misdemeanors as a priority now? How much more desperate is this adminstation trying to appear?

[–] JollyG@lemmy.world 46 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It’s only a misdemeanor because the injuries sustained were only categorized as boo-boos. If they had been ouchies, we would be looking at felony charges.

[–] spongebue@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (3 children)

You don't understand, he could smell the mustard! He probably hates mustard!

[–] aarch0x40@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Don forget about the onions!!

[–] spongebue@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Only monsters don't like- oh, right

[–] baronvonj@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It was French's mustard, clearly an illegal immigrant sandwich. This Dunn guy was aiding an illegal alien's assault of an officer.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

Worse, it was Dijon Mustard, Communist Kenyan Mustard!

JFC these people are such fucking baby clowns.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Woops, put a whole hell of a lot of cayenne peppers in there!

Now... if that's an attack with a chemica agent weapon... what is shooting someone in the face with a pepperball round?

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They tried for felony charges. Multiple times. The grand juries (plural) refused to indict.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 day ago

Yeah, this literally keeps getting laughed out of court.

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Thank god they were wearing vest, they could have died!

[–] mcv@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 day ago

It's not about the act itself, but about what it represents: resistance to the new regime. He needs to be made an example of just for that.

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[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 61 points 1 day ago (3 children)

“What is the charge? Throwing a meal? A succulent cold-cut meal?”

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"This is democracy manifest!"

[–] muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

I love that this meme will never die.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 2 points 22 hours ago

Assault with a deli weapon

::: spoiler

I blatantly stole this one from another user that I can't find or link to, but thanks for the great pun, fellow lemming.

“…and you, sir- are you waiting to receive my limp sandwich?”

[–] spongebue@lemmy.world 43 points 1 day ago

For those who thought this guy was past this...

A grand jury refused to indict Dunn on a felony assault count, part of a pattern of pushback against the Justice Department’s prosecution of surge-related criminal cases. After the rare rebuke from the grand jury, U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro’s office charged Dunn instead with a misdemeanor.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Technically, it was a “meat sandwich” thrown at “point-blank range” only to “explode” all over.

*actual language from the trial. Probably the hottest action meal-team 6 ever got.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

“I had to smell onions!”

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[–] Zephorah@discuss.online 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Clearly Trump is trying to make an example of him. A jury trial for a single misdemeanor? Either way, there’s good odds he’ll be financially ruined by the lawyer bill. A trial is a minimum of $15k to start.

This will become an exemplar for We The People to self police going forward.

[–] Zaktor@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

If he hasn't crowd funded his legal expenses it's because he's actively choosing not to. He could be grifting this so hard.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Is it a grift if you need the money for the stated purpose?

[–] Zaktor@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

No, I mean he could raise way more than his defense will cost. He's kind of one of the mythic figures of the resistance.

When the early revolution is recorded to history, we'll remember such luminaries as the Portland Frog, Polka Dot Lady, and Sandwich Guy.

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[–] madcaesar@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Edit this comment and don't call it a grift. Helping people fight fascist is not the same as biggots gifting after losing their job for attending Nazi rallies.

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

A jury trial for a single misdemeanor?

That's your right. The defendant can choose whether to have a jury or bench trial.

Clearly in this case you want the jury. You want them to look at the ridiculousness of the case and throw it the fuck out regardless of the legality.

[–] cv_octavio@piefed.ca 15 points 1 day ago

If corporations are people, then sandwiches are speech.

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 day ago

Felony Footlong

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 13 points 1 day ago

Assault with a deli weapon.

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If you throw a soft fluffy pillow or a submarine sandwich the punishment is the same? What about intent? Does that come into play? Oh, I forgot, there is no law anymore, just retribution.

[–] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Same punishment as a brick, or acid, or a bunch of razors. Really makes you think.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

How about feathers? Straight to jail?

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm selling loose, dead D and C cell batteries. No reason, I just have lots

[–] PissingIntoTheWind@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Found the Philly resident.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 3 points 19 hours ago

Just a Mainer that studied the Philadelphia School of Sport Win/Loss Celebration/Riot

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 9 points 1 day ago

While it is of course illegal to throw anything at anyone this should be treated as civil disobedience or an act causing negligible societal harm and be dismissed.

[–] Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I feel like this should just be a fine. Seems like a waste of resources.

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 6 points 1 day ago

Shouldn't even be a fine, it was a fucking sandwich.

[–] workerONE@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

You have to yell "food fight!" before you do something like that

[–] einlander@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

They need for this to be a crime, otherwise it sets a precedent of what can be legally done to a federal agent without legally sanctioned retaliation.

[–] grimpy@lemmy.myserv.one 3 points 1 day ago

that sandwich had a REALLY HARD CRUST dude!

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Producer Amy Pascal threw a sandwich at producer Kevin Feige over a disagreement about bringing Spiderman into the MCU

[–] minorkeys@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

And in the near future those things will always be both.

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