So this brings up a funny story.
IDK when, but I was on a trip, thinking about my ex wife(then girlfriend at the time) with my parents somewhere and they had these vibrating back massager things. Usually they're like 4 wooden balls on sticks attached to a wooden handle. I knew how much my ex loved it. Anyway I thought "dude fucking brilliant" and I bought it for her and my parents were like: "Uh, ok? You sure she's going to like that?" "I'm like are you kidding me? The number of times I have to get sore hands from giving her a back massage is incredible!" Oh, I'm like 15 at the time.
Well, I gift it to her, and with the smallest hint of embarrassment says she absolutely loves it. That night she thanks me again, saying it made things so much easier, in kind of a flirty tone. I completely miss all social cues always so this didn't register. Sometime later I come over and she wants one of the back rubs, and I'm like "hey, grab that tool I got!"
She responds with "I'm not in the mood for that, besides it's out of batteries."
I thought I was going to fold into myself. "How many back rubs have you given yourself?" "Oh, like none. Just the fun stuff." The heaviest levels of cringe hit, knowing how many people saw me buying this for my girlfriend completely oblivious to what it would be used for.