this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2025
873 points (98.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

35365 readers
4333 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone 216 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

I adore the meme that Patel's FBI fabricated those texts between the alleged Kirk shooter and his partner. Just the fact that they've done such a poor job gaining public trust that a bunch of people watching the story ended up like "Okay, I wouldn't have thought the FBI would fabricate evidence like this before, but Kash Patel has utterly convinced me that they fabricated these texts. Look how conveniently they answer every single outstanding question for the investigation and sound like they were written by a 40 year old federal agent and not a college kid from Utah."

It's objectively fucking hilarious. Especially if the texts are actually real.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 84 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's comical how stupid they think people are, and reprehensible how some people are dumb enough to gobble it up

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 27 points 1 month ago

Have you met Trumpers?

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 4 points 1 month ago

They think people are stupid because they themselves are stupid.

[–] flandish@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago (2 children)

right? i mean the gov fabricated the entire reason for the vietnam war among other things. it’s kind of what a gov does lol.

[–] obre@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

And the Iraq war

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You might even say they manufactured it all to gain the consent of the people.

[–] flandish@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

found the Chomsky! 😉😂💚

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 38 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Oh my god I hadn't read them before but those are 100% faked wtf. The only time I've seen a zoomer talk like that is when they're mocking or imitating older people.

[–] Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Yeah no they're fucking wild. Oh yeah let me just text my partner telling them the location of a note that I totally made admitting to doing it but that I planned on never telling anyone. A letter mind you that was apparently destroyed but not before taking a picture of for fucking posterity I guess? Oh and remember how I was engraving bullets the other day? That thing that you were presumably there for if I'm asking you if you remember.

[–] mikesizachrist@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Also, what kid (or anyone) calls his car a "vehicle" or a cop car a "squad car". It's all in cop-speak: circle back, vehicle, squad car

[–] ButtermilkBiscuit@feddit.nl 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wut?? Do you have a link? I searched but only coming up with a fox new video seems unrelated. Must be behind the curve on this story I haven't seen these texts but that sounds fucking hilarious.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] ButtermilkBiscuit@feddit.nl 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Jesus Christ is this for real? It's like the AI video they released after Kirk got shot. I'm not normally a big conspiracy person but something is fucking weird here.

[–] Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Right? I'm not a big conspiracy person either. But my Gods between the Epstein stuff, the live tweeting this investigation, and how hard they've pushed the left wing violence narrative it's so hard to look at those messages and not think something is fishy.

It feels so much like that time the Russians tried to brag about catching some Ukrainian terrorist and stage a photo with all the evidence they seized including 3 random copies of The Sims. Or that time the IDF tried to claim they found this pristine copy of Mein Kampf in a child's bedroom they bombed. They've done so much lying that any info that's convenient for them I have a hard time believing isn't a lie.

The guy absolutely could just have been "Like That" and overshared. I've definitely known people like that. But with everything that's happened I just can't help but feel like it's suspicious that the texts just so conveniently happen to just perfectly answer all these questions the administration has in just the perfect way.

[–] killingspark@feddit.org 11 points 1 month ago

I lost a little faith I didn't even know I had left while reading these weird ass definitely crafted messages

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 3 points 1 month ago

Its almost feels like a scene in a comedy where a grown ass man is playing with dolls that look like his enemies and he makes them speak like morons.

[–] jontree255@lemmy.world 77 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Patel perpetually looks like he shit his pants.

[–] bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip 37 points 1 month ago

He does so in solidarity with Dear Leader

[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

With his standard combination of surprise, fear, and nausea I'd say he looks more like someone else just shit his pants.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 month ago

finally, The Mystery of Who Shit My Pants is real

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 16 points 1 month ago

You would, too, if you were that grossly under qualified

[–] Snowcano@startrek.website 67 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This had my wife knocking on the door and asking why I was laughing in the bathroom.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 18 points 1 month ago

'now you get why I laughed the first time I saw it, baby'

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 60 points 1 month ago
[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 56 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I don't want to burst anyone's bubble about the otherwise obvious validity of these messages, but it's curious that James Comey has his wife in his contacts as James Comey. Everything else looks totally authentic though, and James Comey is clearly in some hot water.

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh, that’s just short for Mrs. James Comey, in the traditional manner.

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

Some people would just use the more traditional shorthand, "Mother."

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 14 points 1 month ago

They're both trans, he just is a bit of a dick and left her dead name as the contact. She was once James Comey and he was once Jane Comey, but after marriage they both transitioned. I'd be curious to see if she changed his dead name as well.

[–] peaceful_world_view@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago

Looks legit, I will need nor seek anymore information and will believe this post as truth until the day I die.

[–] phoenixarise@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago

See what happens when you have a podcaster in charge of an important position? We get clickbait for news. 😂

[–] dumbass@aussie.zone 27 points 1 month ago

Kash has the look of a kid after their parent found their poop draw.

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If patel wasn't director of fbi, he'd already been deported by racist ICE agents.

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 14 points 1 month ago

Not gonna lie, he totally looks like someone who was picked up randomly on the street, given uniform, and told to "do as I say".

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Aw so nice that they gave him a jacket that says FBI and everything

[–] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You can get one from Spencer's. It just says Federal Booby Inspector.

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

At this point Federal Booby Inspector has more prestige.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago

I think it was Female Body Inspector tbh

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Kash Patel has all the charisma of a full bottle of cum.

[–] TheColonel@reddthat.com 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Let’s not be too generous.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

They never said it was anything close to fresh. That bottle has been filled over the span of multiple years and has a smell

[–] Mrkawfee@feddit.uk 3 points 1 month ago

And he has a hot, totally not a Mossad agent, girlfriend.

[–] madjo@feddit.nl 2 points 1 month ago

I think he's more like the cumbox rather than a bottle.

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 2 points 1 month ago

Seeing him speak makes me wonder how the fuck did he manage to make a living as a podcaster. This guy couldn't sell me a dollar for 50 cents.

[–] dan69@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Okay now leak the Epstein files..

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 15 points 1 month ago

Sounds pretty open and shut to me, so I'm totally convinced - Kash Patel is a treasonous moron.

[–] rising_man@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

The fact that they can get those messages easily.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 4 points 1 month ago