this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2025
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

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[–] grue@lemmy.world 34 points 5 days ago (4 children)

I think it's unfortunate how it kinda undermines Star Trek's message of fully-automated luxury gay space communism, but I can't help but point out that Quark's for-profit holosuites worked flawlessly throughout the entire run of Deep Space Nine.

Or maybe Rom was just that much more competent than a Starfleet engineer.

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

As with all things, Starfleet of course has the have the unstable, bleeding edge version on their spaceships. I'm sure Vulcan holodecks are much safer lol

I do think we're supposed to recognize that Rom is actually very skilled though. We see it through Nog's opinion of him, and how well he does after he joins the Bajoran maintenance crew, despite his first initial awkward interactions. And restrictions often improve creativity in real life, so it makes sense to me that he'd have some unique skills, compared to engineers from Earth, who are used to being able to requisition anything they need eventually. You even see some of it aboard Starfleet ships, like when Geordie meets Leah Brahms, and has to defend all the changes he's made to the warp engines on the fly, or in the Upper Decks episode of Lower Decks, when Billups is teaching the ensign about maintenance.

It's part of the whole idea of the show, that these other people, even ones we might not initially get along with, have valuable perspectives. "Infinite diversity, in infinite combinations."

[–] grue@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

I do think we’re supposed to recognize that Rom is actually very skilled though. We see it through Nog’s opinion of him, and how well he does after he joins the Bajoran maintenance crew, despite his first initial awkward interactions.

He also invented those self-replicating cloaked mines that stopped the Dominion from coming through the wormhole and saved the Alpha Quadrant.

But still, the fact that the holosuites didn't deteriorate after Rom quit working for Quark suggests the first possibility rather than the second.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The only time there was an issue was when the bridge crew got uploaded into Bashir's spy program.

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

But that wasn't a holosuite issue, do dumped their patterns into holomatrix or whatever on purpose.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Yeah, that was the flawless holosuites saving them from a transporter fuck-up.

[–] lath@piefed.social 10 points 4 days ago

I believe the Enterprise holodeck was connected to its supercomputer which could hold an entire civilization without issue, hence the whole thing was prone to develop intelligence randomly.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

The cardassisn holodecks were better.

(Or they were sick of that trope.)

[–] grue@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

They couldn't have been sick of the trope because they brought it back for Voyager.

That's why I wrote "Starfleet engineer" instead of "Geordi" specifically, BTW: the holodecks (and Sickbay holoemitters) B'Elanna was responsible for were less than 100% reliable, too.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Eh they tend to skip shows. Q was in TNG, not really on DS9, in VOY. MIrror universe was on TOS, not on TNG, was on DS9, not on VOY, on ENT. Klingons are fun though, they just had to find a way to get them on VOY.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Sisko punched Q out the first time they met. I'd sit out the rest of that series as well if I were a bored omnipotent omniscient joker as well.

https://youtu.be/rlAMzzPAbUg

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

That's why I said not really. It wasn't much. They dropped it quick

[–] darkdemize@sh.itjust.works 26 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] lividweasel@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

Oh no, the alien virus has gotten into LCARS, too!

[–] negativenull@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

Moriarty is giving a clue to something

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 19 points 5 days ago

Episode idea: Someone creates a cat cafe program, but they find themselves unable to leave when one of the cats falls asleep on their lap.

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 11 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Why can't a malfunction result in an orgy!?

[–] IcedRaktajino@startrek.website 26 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Apparently Seth MacFarlane asked himself the same question because in The Orville, exactly that happens.

collapsed inline media

Or maybe the orgy resulted in a holodeck malfunction? I gotta re-watch.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago

In Futurama, Zapp Brannigan was slapped with 3 paternity suits when their holo-shed malfunctioned.

[–] negativenull@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

Lol, I was about to post this same image

[–] arschflugkoerper@feddit.org 2 points 4 days ago

I believe the holodeck program was porn that contained a virus.

[–] AnyOldName3@lemmy.world 18 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The Enterprise D crew was selected specifically to avoid seduction by Riker (otherwise they'd never get anything done), so it takes more than a holodeck malfunction to make them start an orgy.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

There's a whole line of jokes about "Holodeck Waste Removal" floating around the back corners of YouTube. But the algorithm has grown so gnarly, I can't find any of it anymore.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 9 points 4 days ago

They openly joke about cleaning out the cum filters in Lower Decks

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 9 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Proper function = orgy.

Malfunction = borg-y.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 days ago

You will be ass stimulated. Resistance is futile.

Proper function = an orgy for me with several attractive women

Malfunction = an orgy for me with and all dudes

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago (3 children)

If it malfunctioned and tried to kill you once a year, would it still be worth it to have a holodeck?

Question for the philosophers, I guess.

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 12 points 5 days ago

I dunno, how many people still live in Midsomer despite what seems like a rate of one murder per week?

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Cars are inherently dangerous, but it doesn't stop people from knowingly texting while driving, driving under the influence, or while getting road head. And cars could malfunction for any number of reasons, be it on their own or due to shit maintenance

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like it's not worth it to own a car so we should just text, drink, and 69 on the train.

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

so we should just text, drink, and 69 on the train.

...in general or are you asking me out?

Maybe stop softmodding the holodeck with different technology that hasn't been fully tested with it

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Someone actually did a breakdown of TNG holodeck malfunctions and the actual rate averages less than 1 episode per season. That's if you don't count someone legitimately messing with the holodecks first. And I don't know if you could even consider Moriarty, since the holodeck was specifically asked to create a special nemesis for Data...

  • The Big Goodbye
  • Elementary, Dear Data
  • A Fistful of Datas
  • Ship in a Bottle
  • Emergence
[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 days ago

DS9 "Our Man Bashir", but that was a case of a malfunction elsewhere and the characters doing some hold my beer shit to keep everyone alive. "Badda-Bing Badda-Bang", but the simulation was specifically programmed by the author to do it, and there wasn't any danger to the crew besides Vic.

Probably some others on Voyager, but I don't remember anything from Voyager very well.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 7 points 4 days ago

Whenever two or more major characters enter a holodeck, or are interacting with multiple people who enter a holodeck:

[–] TypFaffke@feddit.org 6 points 5 days ago

One episode of my favourite sci-fi show please!

One cliché Western / Detective story coming right up.

[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 days ago

I've figured out why star trek always has some sort of technical issue. Everything is designed by AI. The engineers are vibe coding everything on the starship; from replicators to the holodeck. Especially the holodeck.

[–] AlexLost@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Yeah, but it's so much fun. A little death and mayhem now and again can be excused.

[–] brem@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago

Holodeck Problems

Gotta solve 'em

Crawlin' through Jefferies tube, like a Swāgrom