this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] gigachad@piefed.social 156 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I guess you could add some sleep(1) inbetween

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 87 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Needs to be a sleep(3) and sleep(5) between the last ones just to add suspense

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)
sleep $(( 1 + $RANDOM % 5 ))
[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

No it has to be controlled suspense.

[–] xav@programming.dev 72 points 1 week ago (3 children)

This is Python. It's already show enough.

[–] StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ooof starting the day with violence I see

[–] xav@programming.dev 11 points 1 week ago

"One troll a day keeps the intelligent people away"

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] gigachad@piefed.social 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's valid Python code though, the semicolons will run but are unnecessary

[–] NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

collapsed inline mediademo of semicolons being allowed in Python

I am so perplexed and horrified. I'm going to need several weeks to get over this. What is this?!

[–] Mad_Punda@feddit.org 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A way to have several statements on the same line?

[–] NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It seems I had semicolons confused with braces:

collapsed inline media

if picture is broken, it's this:

~ $ python -c "from __future__ import braces"
  File "<string>", line 1
SyntaxError: not a chance
[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 7 points 1 week ago

Guido undoubtedly had a strong, strong hatred of the number of ways braces are overloaded in Perl.

Do you really want an example?

sub doHref { { do { ${someglobal{Href}} = {} }; last }; }

Every single pairing there serves a different syntactic purpose. Some are related purposes, and I've crowbarred a few in unnecessarily for the sake of an example, but different nonetheless.

The outer pair declares the sub, and the next pair is a free block that works as a once-through unlabelled loop, which is exited with the last. (Most other languages use break for this purpose.)

The next pair are for the do which doesn't act as a loop like the free block does. The next innermost pairing wrap a variable and the inner, innermost pairing indicate that the variable is a member of a hash (associative array) and we're accessing the record named Href.

The lone {} indicates a hash reference, so we're assigning a reference to an empty, anonymous hash to that hash record.

This example is ridiculous of course. There's no need for most of those braces and syntax to do what it actually does. Also assigning to global variables is generally frowned upon.

sub doHref { $someglobal{Href} = {} }

... is equivalent and cuts out most of the guff. Still three different uses though.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah but it wasnt intended to be python

[–] gigachad@piefed.social 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe we should call the meme police then

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 54 points 1 week ago (1 children)

what about the sleeps between each print?

where's the comments?

why isn't it DRY?

3/10 code, PR rejected.

[–] urandom@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

where’s the comments?

// this prints 80%

[–] BrokenGlepnir@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Python with semicolons? I mean I guess it’ll run but why

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[–] sorter_plainview@lemmy.today 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You know hackers in the movies are very polite and care for their user. When they are hacking or wiping the disk they show proper progress. That is much better user experience than many corporate products. Be like hackers in the movie.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 20 points 1 week ago

Ransomware has better tech support and customer service than your cell phone provider or ISP.

[–] rbn@sopuli.xyz 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

For those who want a more convincing but still low-effort variant of this, use... https://hackertyper.net/

Press F11 in your browser to run it in fullscreen.

[–] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 7 points 1 week ago

The Hollywood command is effortless and runs on terminal

[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Did he type the furiously on to the keyboard? No? Then it's not hacking.

[–] Adalast@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I have seen like 2 movies where the hacker just ran a script and danced around the room until the progress bar got to the top, then he hit a couple inputs and ran another script and went back to dancing. It was so surreal to see something so much closer to real than the feverish hammering in a keyboard.

[–] WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

ah yeah, I'm always dancing when hacking gov systems

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 2 points 1 week ago

Which movies?

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[–] Natanael@infosec.pub 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 2 points 1 week ago

Classic! Sometimes I call it up just to enjoy that feeling.

have you seen who runs the fbi? this'll probably work irl

[–] Damage@feddit.it 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It takes skill to hack such an organization using only printf

[–] noughtnaut@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

You'd be surprised how versatile that one thing is. Or, should I say, how much abuse it gets at ioccc.....

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago

I've been hacking the world this whole time!

[–] Evilschnuff@feddit.org 9 points 1 week ago

The hacking in Mr Robot looked more authentic, I really liked it. But they usually just executed some random scripts without printouts lol.

[–] paulbg@programming.dev 8 points 1 week ago

behind the scenes: youtube video of a python loop

Yeah, few people know that the FBI tells you the progress when hacking them.

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

what HP printers really do

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

In Soviet Russia, print() statement runs on printer.

[–] misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"ChatGPT, write me a program to hack the FBI"

[–] goatinspace@feddit.org 2 points 1 week ago

Prints a long summary with hallucinations

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

But look how much effort he put into ricing his terminal this guy's good.

[–] dumnezero@piefed.social 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
[–] tfm@piefed.europe.pub 19 points 1 week ago (5 children)
import sys
import time
from typing import Iterable, Callable, Any

class ProgressSimulator:
    """
    A class to simulate and display the progression of a hacking process,
    with unnecessary abstraction and complexity for dramatic effect.
    """

    def __init__(self, description: str = "FBI"):
        self.description = description
        self.progress_steps = [0, 20, 40, 60, 80, 100]
        self.messages = [
            f"Starting Hack...",
            *[f"Hacking {self.description} {step}%" for step in self.progress_steps],
            f"{self.description} Hacked Successfully"
        ]

    def generate_progress(self) -> Iterable[str]:
        """Generates the progress messages."""
        for message in self.messages:
            yield message

    def display_progress(self, delay: float = 0.5) -> None:
        """Displays the progress messages with a delay."""
        for message in self.generate_progress():
            print(message)
            time.sleep(delay)

    def execute_hack(self, callback: Callable[[str], Any] = print) -> None:
        """Executes the hacking process with a callback for each step."""
        for message in self.generate_progress():
            callback(message)

def create_hacking_sequence(description: str = "FBI") -> ProgressSimulator:
    """Factory function to create a hacking sequence."""
    return ProgressSimulator(description)

def main() -> None:
    """Main function to orchestrate the hacking simulation."""
    hacking_sequence = create_hacking_sequence()
    hacking_sequence.display_progress()

if __name__ == "__main__":
    main()
[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Guys, you can't just come in here and post exactly how hackimg works.

That's illegal!!1!

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