Greentext

I'd approached this very subject in therapy. My problem was being worried about my standards, because I've been looking for something so very specific in a partner, that even my therapist was surprised that I managed to find people who fit the bill. But my therapist highlighted that I did, indeed, manage to have several partners who matched my intent during the almost two decades since I've started doing this whole Relationship™ deal, and I'm a weird fucker looking for likewise weird fuckers!

@Whostosay is 100% correct. There are over 8 billion (edit: to highlight billion - BILLION! Can you even picture that amount?! I sure as hell can't, can barely conceptualise millions!) individuals on this planet at the moment, and humanity isn't THAT creative for there to be no common ground between us. It's statistically improbable for there to not be at least someone who matches you. Sure, it may take a long while to find such people if your standards are very specific (I usually spend several years solo between partners due to this, plus I don't do hook-ups, one-night-stands or fwb stuff because they do nothing for me), but there ARE people out there who fit the bill.

Take a chance! Go out into the world and shoot your shot! Post a "seeking partner" post online, be honest and specific, go on dating apps with the specific intent of looking for who YOU want and stop focusing on a high-score! Like, what the hell do you have to lose, y'know? Just be 100% honest about it, both with yourself and potential interests! Are you socially awkward and anxious? Then TELL THEM! Worst case scenario, they'll react like a sociopathic douchebag with zero empathy, in which case they will have dodged that bullet for you! But the best case scenario is that they'll be able to empathise and will see that you are a human being with a heart, with thoughts and feelings, and they'll not only appreciate your honesty, but they may even find your awkwardness comforting and endearing (the only people who have zero doubts about anything are those who are lying to themselves and to everyone around them).

And in the meantime, have fun! Pick up hobbies, read random books, spend hours topic-jumping on the internet, develop weird fixations, go for long walks, whatever! Keep busy and live your life!

P.S.: and before anyone thinks I'm just a confident person, I have news for you: I even second-guess the way I wipe my ass. But I just... get over it! I don't know how else to put this, accept your doubts, accept that they're there, then do it anyway! Maybe you'll fuck up, but then you'll have earnt a good life lesson if you look at it with honesty!

No debate there but I don't think you can extend that truth into suggesting that everyone could just as easily be fulfilled if they just "focus their energy on other aspects of their lives".

I would argue the reverse is also true. There were famous people with intimate relationships that have very unfulfilling lives.

My assumption would be many of the people you're referencing are/were either on the aro/ace spectrum or simply closeted homosexuals.

Most people desire intimacy, and will experience some amount of discomfort/distress from a prolonged lack of intimacy. See also "touch-starved." It is also perfectly normal for individuals to find themselves on the aromantic/asexual spectrum, where they may either not need intimacy or may even find displeasure/discomfort/distress when engaging in intimacy for another's sake. These are things that are important to keep in mind when discussing other's needs and desires or lack thereof