Ask Lemmy

bro your literally posting this from your wallet. smh my head dude

Have you checked your butthole?

I once saw a duck steal a wallet out of a woman's bag and waddle off with it.

The same could have happened to YOU.

Have you tried calling it

Have you checked the last place you look yet?

gnomes are holding it ransom until you right the wrong you committed against them

Did you leave it under the hood of a car you were working on?

Have you looked in the hood of a Ford Fusion in Minnesota?

You ate it out of hunger and forgot about it. Happens to the best of us.

My son once took all the cards our of my wallet and put them in the printer/scanner that we never use. I only found out 2 years later when I finally went to print something and there was a jam, opened the scanner lid to get inside and boom.

Could be there.

You left it where you put it so you can easily get it when you need it.

Are you walking funny .... ?

Have you tried utilizing A* algorithm as a basis for your search pattern yet?

Check your car between the seat and the door, or the seat and center console. This happened to me once, then a couple years later to a neighbor, so I was able to help him find his.

I've found my wallet is often where I first looked, just covered in other junk so I didn't see it. Also, if you drive, check the crack between the seat and the door. Hope that helps!

Check your laundry. And places where you might set things down when moving laundry around.

clearly it must be in the dishwasher

Drawer No. 42.

By the shitter?

check the fridge

Did you leave it in your car?

Somewhere special that you've never put it before, so you wouldn't forget where it was

I legit think I tossed my wallet in the dumpster one time while scrambling to get ready for a backpacking trip. I never ended up finding it, and we lived in a fairly small apartment so I think it indeed ended up in the landfill. Anyways, good luck!

Elsweyr, have you checked? Might be there, might not.

Did you leave it in your other pants/purse/jacket?

Wait, that was yours? Oops...say if you see a transaction record from Gritty Down Under just forget it

I don't know, but annoyingly my wallet/keys/phone tends to always be in the last place I look.

Did you check your pockets?

Slid between the bed and the wall.

Did you happen to leave it under the hood of a car you worked on earlier?

Mine once fell out of my pants while I was sitting at my office chair. It ended up perched on the bar that connects the seat back the seat bottom. There is a 3 inch gap between the back and the bottom otherwise. It took me a week to find it, and right before i was about to cancel everything. I only found it because i bumped the chair and it jiggled free.

First things first. You need some food to sustain you while you search for the wallet. Do you have a leather belt or some shoes or anything like that you can boil and eat? It's only a temporary fix, but trust me, you'll have a much clearer head after you get some tanned animal hide into your system. Next priority: finding that wallet. What you need to do is go to the last place you had it and then retrieve it from there. Most people never realize that one very simple and effective trick, instead spending far too much time searching places where they had their wallet slightly-to-somewhat before it was lost.

Finally, always remember to troubleshoot and isolate the root of the issue. If you need your credit card, and you reach for your wallet only to find your wallet is missing, you have two separate problems. Your wallet can be found by following the steps I shared earlier, but you credit card might be in an entirely different place and it's the credit card that you needed right now. Keep your eyes on the prize.

it fell out of your pocket when you sat down

Is it in a car?
Is it in a bar?
Is it in a bag?
I'm sorry you've hit a snag.

Mine was down the side of my nightstand for two days, check there?

Try the couch cushions