this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2025
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Mildly Infuriating
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Never gonna argue with this reply
Will always upvote this
I don't believe any of the stories coming out of this administration about this incident. If true he started it and deserved the ass beating. Matter of fact he deserves worse then a ass beating. He should be hung.
*hanged
*Drawn and quartered
"I love sketching the curves of your body and you're welcome to stay here for the evening, if you like."
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(18 replies)
Imagine if the bullet was just two inches to the right, what kind of utopia we would be living in right now.
Someone just as bad would have replaced him. The problem isn't him specifically, it's all the people who voted for him.
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What bullet?
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Teenagers beat up Government Staffer BIG BALLS and now BIG BALLS is going to Receive the Highest Presidential Medal for getting BEAT UP by Kids! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
After talking about his own personal experience with violence in D.C., thanking Leavitt for Trump’s actions and slamming Democrats, Johnson asked if the president would consider Coristine—better known by his online nickname “Big Balls”—for a Presidential Medal of Freedom in view of his “heroic actions just a few blocks from this building.”
“Perhaps it’s something he would consider,” Leavitt replied.
You can stop reading now.
🤮
leavitts necklace cross gets bigger the more she lies.
If that were the case she wouldn't be able to carry it anymore much less wear it
Nobel Peace Prize for the great & powerful Big Balls!!!
Very convenient that Trump‘s justifying martial law with this DOGE guys “attack.” About as convenient as Trump’s failed “assassination” attempt.
Brb, gonna put a maxi pad on my ear in his honor
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I cannot believe the state of the country where I have to read bullshit like this.
The real horror is that we're never going back to a non-spectacle government or media state.
This is how it will be forever until something radically changes the world or we all collectively move onto other interests and stop clicking on these stories.
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I’m starting to think this guy’s balls may not actually be big.
Staged to bring in the National Guard. Release the files.
Todays episode of USA is wild:
Two weeks after 19-year-old Edward Coristine was viciously assaulted during a carjacking in Washington D.C., the White House says it would consider giving the administration official a Presidential Medal of Freedom for his bravery.
A 15-year-old girl and 15-year-old boy were subsequently arrested and remain in juvenile jail as the investigation continues.
Nice plot twist by the writers 10/10. Excited for the next episodes of the series.
Lol for his bravery. That's not what that word means.
Also, looks like we're going to need a new medal if we ever stop this regime
Those kids should be getting medals instead.
I hope he gets beat up again with the medal
Well...that award effectively means nothing, now.
That happened when Rush Limbaugh received one. Rest in piss.
I wish that Big Balls got spayed. Preferably, with many kicks to the sack.
I don’t believe this story for one second.
Also that picture is designed to get a reaction. All that blood is from his nose. Not like they cut him up.
He was as probably talking shit and a child punched him.
I would love to hear the teenagers’ side of the story here.
Big Balls claims he was just out with his girlfriend at 3 in the morning when a group of teens tried to car jack him. Police take a photo of Big Balls with a broken nose and covered in his own blood, and then arrest 2 teenagers.
Suspiciously, there is not a single piece of evidence this shit actually happened outside of that one photo of an idiot covered in his own blood. I have not been able to find security camera or body cam footage of the alleged attack or any groups of teens fleeing the cops.
Apparently the teens beat him up and then just waited for the cops to show up? How does that make sense?
An alternative scenario is that a privileged nepo baby was out with a girl, some teens saw him and said “holy shit it’s big balls” went up to talk to a living meme, startled the sheltered lil baby, and he started a fight he couldn’t win, then called the cops after he realized his big balls were just a name he made up on the internet.
A subversion of norms, just more fascist shit. This is to purposefully destroy what the medal means and the words themselves.
A republican getting beaten by a girl might as well mark the death sentence of their pride
Nah, it's a win, a woman actually willingly touched him.
We need a sandbox thing like browsers have but for RL events like these that the current administration dreams up so we can keep them isolated from our actual archives
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That kid looks deformed. No wonder he got beat up by a teenager. He’s a pussy ass bitch.
Prediction: we learn in a few years that this balls kid is a rare modern castrato.
honestly lets find his plates and get him five more medals for his bravery, or one hell of a memorial service
(jokes aside i do not intend to harm anyone in any way)
i guess
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