I became best friends with my ex after we broke up and we lived together for years.
this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2025
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I was with my ex wife for 5 years after divorcing because of a situation like this.
It was the worst period of my life. So far.
In this situation now, kinda. Known each other 13 years, been married for ~10 years (but "separated" for the last ~3), amicably divorcing around December, and keeping the ownership of everything the same, house is plenty big for us all. We came out to each other over the past couple years, and she found her true soulmate. I'm perfectly happy living on my own for once. It's freeing, and we're besties. We see ourselves paying off the 30 year mortgage, and then seeing where our lives go.
I'm currently living with my toxic wife because in case of a divorce I'd have to rent an apartment (we live at her parents), buy and maintain a car (Europe here, we can perfectly live with one car per household), pay child support and try to live on top of that
Also I'm kinda too lazy for that
Have you tried couples therapy? Do you think that would improve the toxicity or your relationship?
The thing is my wife cannot fathom she's the toxic one, every time I mention it she gaslights me and says I'm victimizing myself, frankly her habit of belittling me at every step of so engrained in her everyday life that she doesn't notice it at all, like basic things, her tone etc, sometimes she tries to justify that behavior because she's doing everything and I'm just sitting don't nothing, because she is the victim, and I should mam up and stop whining etc
So... do you sit around doing nothing while she does everything?
Obviously not, I mean she's a teacher so she spends more time at home, she drives kids to school, she does shopping etc, so she does more but it's not like I just sit watching TV and drink beer when coming home after 8h at work
Man we have the same wife. I see you.
I was until just recently. Finally breaking free from it and living on my own.
Congrats!
I currently live with my g/f and the relationship is a happy one. She slowly moved into my one bedroom apartment and I refuse to let her contribute to rent or utilities because I don't want to be dependent on her income. (Also she and her retired mother went halfsies on a new trailer. She's paying the lot rent while her mom lives in the trailer. She also has her own room there too.) If she starts pestering me to move into a bigger place, I will be damn sure it's something I can afford on my own. I learned my lesson after being thrown out of a place 2 weeks after breaking up while I had no stable income.
This sounds great, but you should still let her contribute her share of rent. You don't need to become dependent on it, if that's a concern. Put it away for a bigger place if that's in your plans.
Thankfully no
Yes, and we were both miserable. Now I'm working on fulfilling my dreams that were put on hold that entire time and it's going well.
Likely happens a lot more now... Having second income is almost necessarity if you want to live "alone"
I did this for a year with my ex that we have two kids with. Didn't last long, only a year. But damn it was a long year.