So the bluer names are ethnic and the redder names are terrible. Interesting trend.
this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2025
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Having a girl in a red state? You are legally required to end it in "lynn," "leigh," "ly" or "ley".
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"Dad, what was I named after?"
"I really liked those sunglasses that cops wear, and your mom likes spelling stuff weird to feel fancy, so naturally we called you Oakleigh!"
I have a red state relative who is a big sports fan and names their children after sports equipment manufacturers.
I'd like you to meet my family: here's my son Champion, my youngest, Addidas, and Riddell is the oldest. 😄
Maybe they can get future sponsorships!
I've never really thought about it, but I think it would make it harder for them to get sponsorships.
If your name is Nike, then would Puma really be willing to sponsor you? And if your name is Nike, then you're already advertising for Nike. Even if Nike did sponsor you, there would be no competition so you wouldn't be able to negotiate a bigger paycheck.
I suppose a good marketer could spin it. "My name may be Nike, but you'll only ever see these feet in Asics!"
Someone may want to "steal them away" from their namesake brand too for the same reason. "They're names after Nikes, but still won't even wear them for money!"
Advertising is weird. I'm sure if one was a star and companies saw a way to exploit that, both parties would be able to work something out.
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What i learn from this is that there are a lot of Muslims in blue states and that everyone is naming their daughters some variation of Oakley in red states.
You mean Oackleiygh
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Stetson? Like... the hat?
Bruh.
I suppose its better then naming their kid Fedora.
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Moshe? Kohen? Baylor???
Multiple versions of "Oak"???
I don't understand these names
Moshe is a Jewish name, Kohen is a fake Jewish name for Christian zionists, Baylor is a Christian college with a football team popular with gambling addicts.
In the Bible the oak of righteousness will not bend, and no matter how many Olive Gardens she's banned from Oaklynn will never bend from knowing that she wants to see the manager and you're a slur.
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Why are all those red names so utterly horrible?
Are you seriously calling your boy Gunner? Why not... idk... Carpet? Or Computer? Or Bottle?
Baylor sounds like a low level boss that you have to fight to finish the tutorial.
They're riffing off of traditional masculine naming conventions. Gunner is associated with the traditional male role of aggressor (compare, Hunter, Victor, Dominic), and is also a job (compare, Carter, Taylor, Mason).
Honestly, I think it'll age better than Baylor or Kyson.
I mean... I get it. But in a country where mass shootings are the norm, calling your son gunner is... a bit out of touch?
Baylor on the other hand is just plain horrible.
Yeah, 'a bit out of touch' is a good starting point when talking about conservatives usually...
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It's going to be a hard life for a lot of innocent boys after their parents effectively tattooed "punch me, I'm a douchebag" on them.
Edit: Clarified "innocent," obviously the parents are the issue.
I doubt they'll have much more trouble than other kids. Names are names, and most people accept that you just get whatever name you get and can't do much about it. All the girls named Reagan seem to be doing just fine.
I read an analysis once of how happy people were with their names. The trend was that the more unusual the name was, the less happy the owner was with it, up until you got to the very popular names, where happiness declined again - but it still wasn't a huge deal. A reasonable assumption is that most people feel quite neutrally about their names until it causes them some inconvenience - people mispronouncing it, people misspelling it, or being confused with other people with the same name.
The only deviation from this trend was that people who were named after admirable family members tended to be actively happy about their names.
Lesson being - when naming your kid, consider naming them after your great uncle who died heroically in the war. Failing that, just get a list of the top 100 baby names, discard the top 10, discard any duplicates with minor spelling deviations, and then just pick one at random.
I assume it's just an alternate (i.e. made up) spelling of Gunnar which is a Scandinavian name. I knew I guy named Gunnar once.
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... Miriam is making a come back?
Eustace! Leave that poor dog alone!
And then also... jesus fuck, the right wing 2A crowd is now I guess just naming their kids 4 or 5 different variations of their favorite overpriced 'cool but also tactical' glasses?
I guess it makes sense for a Republican approach to daughters; literally just accessories they own so they can self-actualize via consumerism and performative conformity.
... Also I can only hope male Nico just barely making the list is from people who played GTA 4 and actually realized his entire story is a thorough evisceration of the concept of the American Dream.
It's probably because it's a traditional Jewish name. It's just Hebrew for Mary.
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These aren't necessarily popular names. They're the most skewed ones (presumably above a threshold, otherwise there would be a lot of names where there was only one baby).
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Stetson - cowboy hats.
Briggs (& Stratton) - outboard motors.
Oakley (in three different spellings) - redneck eyewear of choice.
Conservatives are one generation away from naming their kids shit like Winchester, Remington, Walmart, and Budlight.
I’d assume that someone named Hattie has stories about living through the Great Depression.
I wonder if I'm going to live long enough to see Gladys and Eustice and Eugene and such like that come back. When I'm 70 meet some teenager named Plutis.
not yet. but don't you worry, they will.
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Four different versions of shitty overpriced sunglasses favored by insecure man children? That tracks.
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I wish they had name counts. I'm curious if there are like seven of each or seven thousand.
All the red names sound like last names to me
As a non-american, WTF with those red names?!? Those are not first names or even word that exist in others countries/languages? Are they AI generated or what? Poor kids...
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Lol @ Stetson
Fascinating that in the female category, blue has no names ending with the "ee" sound, and in the red category, there's no names ending in the "ah" sound.
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Briggs and Stratton next to each other on the red state list is too funny.
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I find it interesting how Muslim and Jewish the blue names are while the red ones are certainly rural coded. Kayla being blue was a bit surprising as it's just normal though I do think college educated liberal when I picture a Kayla. Paige is definitely an odd one there.
How can Mohammad, the most common name on Earth, be 3rd highest and yet McLovin isn't even charted? 🤔
But also: Give it up for Baylor and Saylor Moon!
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That's why I used Muhammad on my fake ID.
Was it between that and McLovin?
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