this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2025
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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment

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[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 59 points 2 days ago (4 children)

At least you can learn which letters to ignore when pronouncing a word. But English pronunciation is completely f-ed up. How do you pronounce "read" or "lead"?

[–] elvith@feddit.org 68 points 2 days ago (6 children)

When the English tongue we speak.
Why is break not rhymed with freak?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say sew but likewise few?
And the maker of the verse,
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
Beard is not the same as heard
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow but low is low
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose, dose,and lose
And think of goose and yet with choose
Think of comb, tomb and bomb,
Doll and roll or home and some.
Since pay is rhymed with say
Why not paid with said I pray?
Think of blood, food and good.
Mould is not pronounced like could.
Wherefore done, but gone and lone -
Is there any reason known?
To sum up all, it seems to me
Sound and letters don't agree.

- Lord Cromer, 1902

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Or "The Chaos", Gerard Nolst Trenité, 1922

[–] elvith@feddit.org 18 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

There are a few of them. There's also

Phoney Phonetics.

One reason why I cannot spell,
Although I learned the rules quite well
Is that some words like coup and through
Sound just like threw and flue and Who;
When oo is never spelled the same,
The duice becomes a guessing game;
And then I ponder over though,
Is it spelled so, or throw, or beau,
And bough is never bow, it's bow,
I mean the bow that sounds like plow,
And not the bow that sounds like row -
The row that is pronounced like roe.
I wonder, too, why rough and tough,
That sound the same as gruff and muff,
Are spelled like bough and though, for they
Are both pronounced a different way.
And why can't I spell trough and cough
The same as I do scoff and golf?
Why isn't drought spelled just like route,
or doubt or pout or sauerkraut?
When words all sound so much the same
To change the spelling seems a shame.
There is no sense - see sound like cents -
in making such a difference
Between the sight and sound of words;
Each spelling rule that undergirds
The way a word should look will fail
And often prove to no avail
Because exceptions will negate
The truth of what the rule may state;
So though I try, I still despair
And moan and mutter "It's not fair
That I'm held up to ridicule
And made to look like such a fool
When it's the spelling that's at fault.
Let's call this nonsense to a halt."

- Attributed to Vivian Buchan, 1966

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[–] morgunkorn@discuss.tchncs.de 42 points 2 days ago (3 children)

you can say French on the internet, no need to self censor like your mommy will tell you off

[–] Bonifratz@lemm.ee 20 points 2 days ago

Pardon my Fr*nch

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago (4 children)

A lot of words are acceptable on the internet but under no circumstances whatsoever should anyone type out a word as bad as the F-word. You do not yet know the extent of what you've done…

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[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Let him wank himself with his Anglo-Saxon superiority.

[–] Grizzlyboy@lemm.ee 35 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The irony of writing the post in English, isn’t lost in you, is it?

[–] lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

OP found it tough to thoroughly think this one through.

[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Bordeaux

Bor-dewks? NON!

Bor-doh? OUI!

[–] Samskara@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Edinburgh is pronounced how?

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

Oh, easy. Ed-in-ur-mom

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[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 21 points 2 days ago

English mfs copying those words and once again changing their pronunciation <--

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 20 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I live in a city founded by the French and nothing is pronounced the French way. Can't win.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (5 children)
[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago
[–] baronvonj@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Versailles, Kentucky is probably the dumbest one I can think of

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

About as bad as Cairo (pronounced Karo), IN.

I rarely miss living in that part of the country.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Miami, OK - “mee-am-ah.” Notable for being near Picher, the ghost town/superfund site.

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[–] Blackout@fedia.io 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] double_quack@lemm.ee 16 points 2 days ago (9 children)

English is no much better... In contrast, Korean and Spanish are quite "what you write is what it sounds"

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[–] MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Trageideigh has entered the chat…

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[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

EEE aaaaa uuuuuu.

Qwa?

EEEEE AAAAA UUUUU!

QWAAAA?

GIVE ME THE DAMN WATER

[–] missandry351@lemmings.world 11 points 2 days ago

English just saw the French doing this and said: hold my beer

[–] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 days ago (7 children)

Is there a high-level explanation of how that clusterfuck happened? I mean, all the roman languages around France are fairly reasonable in their spelling.

[–] hmonkey@lemy.lol 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

People used to pronounce all the letters and then over time they got lazy and stopped pronouncing everything

[–] Acamon@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And they have actually removed some of them. The ê in forêt indicates it used to be spelled forest but that was so long ago that they're willing to admit it's not necessary. Unlike the k in knife, what would we do without that!

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Me: "I'd like to buy a nif, please."
Store clerk: "You sure you don't want some vowels instead?"

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The pronunciation of words evolved but the spelling of most words didn’t.

Like the Great Vowel Shift in English

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 4 points 2 days ago

Or the much earlier h to k shift (think shirt --> skirt).

To be clear, the spelling did change with that one. I just find it interesting.

[–] Sp00kyB00k@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There is an old explanation for this. I asked my French teacher a while ago.

The old French language was written like you pronounce it. During the renaissance, they got into classicism and made the language resemble Latin. Hence tan became temps from the Latin tempus.

[–] azertyfun@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The Latin thing is only a partial explanation. Some of it is changes in pronunciation coupled with a very authoritarian attitude to orthography. Few languages out there that changed so little in 400 years.

So for instance the -ent ending for plural verbs ("ils mangent") is silent because the "ent" sounds were progressively dropped. Then the written suffix logically started disappearing, and only then did the Académie bring it back because it was more Latin. If it wasn't for these reactionary fucks that rule would have been reformed centuries ago.

Unfortunately in the intervening time, knowledge of orthography became a very strong social marker. Because spelling French is so hard, the dictée came to disproportionately affect grades (seriously, old-fashioned schools still do it daily and it's all graded and very severely), which coupled with the industrial revolution and alphabetization of the lower classes meant that shit spelling = prole = bad. So now orthography is at the center of the traditional value system which has all the conservatives pearl-clutching at the idea that children can't spell "nénuphar" properly. Children's purported inability to spell properly is like the number one moral panic that has sprung up every few years for the last century or two, but also orthographic reforms are woke (derogatory). The point of orthography, to conservative types, is for it to be hard so you can show off your perfect spelling to justify your social standing.

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[–] johny@feddit.org 9 points 2 days ago (5 children)

A lot of unpronounced letters are actually pronounced conditionally, for example in “Je suis un homme” the last s of suis is pronounced because it is followed by a vowel.

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[–] Evil_incarnate@lemm.ee 8 points 1 day ago

I believe it is a conspiracy by HP to make us use more ink.

[–] ooli2@lemm.ee 6 points 2 days ago
[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Let's not forget they were some of baddest mfers during the second world war

Edit: some French hating mfers in here‽ The French are some bad ass mfers! Don't care what the doots say, I respect the French!

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

This is a weird comment but also confusing about why it’s being downvoted.

Is it cuz it’s so random or because people are idiots and think you’re wrong?

The French may have gotten collapsed but they fought tooth and nail the entire war.

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[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

This needs the Mr. Bean meme of the English cheating off the French.

[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago (3 children)
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[–] xorollo@leminal.space 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

doge being pronounced with a silent e is not very american.

[–] CrazyLikeGollum@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

True, it should be dogé.

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