this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] scytale@piefed.zip 182 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Dude was wiping down his chair more often than his ass.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 67 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well yeah. Wipi g your chair isn't gay.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

is it gay to slip a finger in when the tp breaks? asking for a friend.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 34 points 2 days ago

Septic masculinity

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[–] Resplendent606@piefed.social 104 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I could understand if it smelled like swamp-ass (sweat) from sitting there too long, especially in a chair made of faux leather, but it shouldn't smell like poop.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 158 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Wow really judgemental community here

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[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 53 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The trick is to wear clothes when sitting in it.

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[–] Caesium@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Exactly, also faux leather is my bane that stuff is the worst. The texture is awful

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[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 100 points 2 days ago

You know it smells bad when body-pillow comes alive to complain.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 82 points 2 days ago (1 children)

guys, need some help here. my gaming room smells like shit. like literally shit. the carpet used to be grey, but it's brown now because of the smell. I've been wiping my ass on the carpet because I saw my dog do it once and it feels good. my mom has been complaining about the smell for a week now and is threatening to come clean my room. I can't let her see the room because I've smeared my turds on the walls artistically for my viewers on twitch. any help to get the poop smell out, please! if I can't get the smell out dad said he's going to force me to get a job!

I didn't know Asmongold was on Lemmy!

[–] Roopappy@lemmy.world 81 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] axEl7fB5@lemmy.cafe 44 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I also judge this guy's dead wife.

[–] BetaBlake@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I also judge this guy's fake girlfriend

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 62 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'l been sitting in the same (mesh) chair for >15yrs (Aeron) and have no such problem. That the OP's response to the GF's complaint is anger says more about them than they intend.

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[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 46 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (9 children)

TBH I don't know what that smell is but if it's related to sweat and ass fluid then cleaning should be fairly simple:

  1. Start with a 70% rubbing alcohol, set the chair on its side and soak then compress / scrub, this step should ensure no bacteria remains and that it dries very quickly for the next steps. You don't have to rinse alcohol, it evaporates quickly.

  2. Next we're going to try to counteract gastric and/or uric acids, which is to say hydrochloric acid, by scrubbing with washing soda. If you don't have access to washing soda then you can either use baking soda directly or turn the baking soda into washing soda by dehydrating it in the oven. Scrub with and rinse out the soda with water.

  3. Final step, to counter any other contaminants, rinse with some amount of acidic cleaner such as vinegar. This will also help remove any soda from the previous step. Rinse out all of the vinegar with water, it does not evaporate.

  4. Dry in a very warm place with lots of airflow.

  5. Wash your ass with soap.

[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Worked at vet office, anything like urine or feces must be rinsed off thoroughly or it will smell. Obviously soap is needed too. Enough water and soap will get rid of it, although other cleaners incl enzymatic ones will work faster. No matter what, all that cleaner and soap has to be fully rinsed or it'll still smell.

He should powerwash it outside or at a carwash. Or, if in an apartment he could rinse it for a while in the shower.

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[–] FlorisJan@kbin.melroy.org 42 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Drewmeister@lemmy.world 36 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Chill! This is a common problem that must people have.

[–] FlorisJan@kbin.melroy.org 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Being angry? That makes me even more angry!

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 33 points 1 day ago (15 children)

Friendly reminder, wiping your arse with dry paper is not sufficient to clean it following a dump run.

A bidet (european style) is best.

no itchy/smelly bumhole ever again

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 33 points 2 days ago

0% chance that guy didn’t shart on that chair.

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 23 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Simple case of bad biology luck or bad diet, resulting in smelly farts, combined with not standing up. Switching to a mesh chair would do wonders.

[–] spicehoarder@lemmy.zip 15 points 2 days ago

Standing up and eating better would also work I assume

[–] Denjin@feddit.uk 10 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Or just being plain nasty.

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[–] rafoix@lemmy.zip 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

He should do anal tightening exercises every other day to cut down on all that feces leaking out.

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago

Nah, just needs the right butt plug.

[–] frenchfryenjoyer@lemmings.world 21 points 2 days ago

What in the holy mother of skidmarks is happenin here

[–] BetaBlake@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago (2 children)

"girlfriend" Ha yeah right dude

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I know a flabby, sweaty, unhygienic dude with a diaper fetish who also RPs as a baby (???) on Discord who's been with his girl for about a decade. The world can surprise you, lol.

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[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

He means his mom.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

how the fuck a chair smells like poop?! Is he siting there without pants? Did he poop his pants in thr chair?!

[–] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

5 bucks says he doesnt wipe his ass after shitting, or wash his ass in the shower, so has a perpetual skidmark, possibly even full blown melted toblerone.

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[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

eating shitty food and farting all the time and not wiping your ass properly are probably the culprits so yea better hygiene

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[–] blargh513@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Aeron chair with a crumb tray under.the mesh. Empty the tray once a year and hose down the chair every other.

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[–] python@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (9 children)

Okay semi unrelated question, but do mens gym showers usually smell like poop?

Because I recently got a fancy gym membership through my employer that allows me to go to basically any gym in the area, and so far the shower in the mixed gender sauna areas has always smelled like poop, while the showers in the woman's sauna and changing room haven't.
Might just be a weird coincidence, but it's been like 5 different gyms of different chains and I've been really bothered by it

[–] burgermeister@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No. If I went to the showers and they smelled like poop I would leave that gym.

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[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Maybe it's just terrible plumbing, that pushes shit below where those showers are.

We had an issue at work where flushing in the men's would cause the shit to pop up in the ladies toilet. There was a fair few arguments among the women over who was leaving floaters.

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[–] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

There are an awful lot of men that are so insecure and terrified of being gay/are so homophobic that they think touching their own ass to wipe/wash it makes them gay.. So they don't wipe/wash their ass at all.

And thats why they, the things they touch, and the areas they congregate, always smell like shit.

It smells like shit, because it IS shit.

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[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 days ago

Fake: op has gf

Gay: he's fucking his chair?

[–] salacious_coaster@infosec.pub 14 points 2 days ago
[–] MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

That thread was a total mixed bag of people trying to be genuinely helpful and ripping on the guy. It was something to behold.

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[–] sundray@lemmus.org 13 points 2 days ago
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