this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2025
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[–] boydster@sh.itjust.works 95 points 6 days ago (3 children)

This is the time to start invoking all of the gods for a more dynamic and adaptive office environment.

"Listen, Ryan, I'm gonna need you to ask yourself what Enki would do in this situation, ok? You're giving Enlil when I need an Enki. Dammit, get your head in the game. Have you not been keeping up on this stuff? Seriously, if you've been experimenting with that Jesus stuff again I'm gonna come unglued, I swear. Get off the fuckin cross already, jeez."

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 49 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Oh no, anyone trying to promote non-christian ideologies will 100% get instacanned under this order I'm sure

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Imagine thinking they give a shit about hypocrisy in 2025

[–] boydster@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 days ago

Sure, but still no reason not to put it on display in clear and hamfisted terms if you ask me

[–] Booboofinget@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I am going to start spreading the Gospel of the Great Wombat at work!

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[–] TheTurner@lemmy.zip 55 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] MangioneDontMiss@lemmy.ca 7 points 5 days ago

The Ritual (2017) was a great movie.

[–] AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world 45 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

This shit only flies as long as it isn't a Muslim doing it.

Reminds me of Valarie Hodges in Lousiana like a dozen years ago. Where she stopped supporting religious vouchers for school cause an Islamic school wanted to use them and she didn't realize that could happen.

[–] baronvonj@lemmy.world 43 points 6 days ago

That's pretty much the entire operating model of the Satanic Temple. Either you're getting a Baphomet statue to go with it, or you're losing that Jesus one.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 43 points 6 days ago

I hope the Satanic Temple can have some fun with this.

[–] BigMacHole@sopuli.xyz 42 points 6 days ago (3 children)

THANK YOU TRUMP for allowing me to FINALLY share the Teachings of ALLAH with other Government Workers!

[–] bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip 14 points 6 days ago

RIP your public service career lol

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 4 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I know it's intentional here, but I cringe whenever someone says 'Allah' in an English sentence because it's just the Arabic word for God.

[–] RedGreenBlue@lemmy.zip 12 points 6 days ago

But doesn't muslims also consider arabic to be the holy language and therefore the correct way and only way to refer to allah?

Yes. I think everybody knows Allah is the word for God.

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[–] Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 5 days ago

Inshallah brother

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 34 points 6 days ago (22 children)

Every job I've ever had, my coworkers and I have pretty openly discussed the 'taboo' shit like religion and politics. We can generally keep the flames under control, and if shit does start to heat up we'll change the topic knowing that the conversation isn't going anywhere at that point... but ultimately it's been a consistent point of growth for pretty much everyone involved.

Coming from the Trump regime, I can only assume it means "convert your non-christian coworkers to christianity, and other application of this policy will get you fired" so, 100% fuck this shit. Coming from less of an absolute shitstain traitor, I'd actually be in favor of this kind of rhetoric. Maintain policies requiring professional behavior and prohibiting harassment so that those who don't want to discuss it are empowered to shut the conversation up; but in a consensual setting, sure I'll hear you pitch coming to Jesus or w/e - so long as you're equally receptive to my counterargument.

That's not how it's gonna work, so again, fuck everything about this, but fuck if it doesn't hint at a nice sounding ideal.

[–] III@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

My I introduce the reverse loophole.

Blaspheme against the holy spirit, that piece of shit.

Doing so is the only unforgivable sin. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Straight to hell with you and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Not even their god. By blaspheming against the holy spirit, that fake garbage, you are putting up the shield against christians. They can't save you, you have no reason to convert, it is a waste of their time...please leave me alone.

Now, if anyone can give me reverse loopholes for other religions, that would be great.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 6 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Fuck your gods, all hail Satan!

That might work for most

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[–] arc99@lemmy.world 34 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'm sure when atheists and satanists start proselytising there will be outrage - "we really meant Christians should allowed to bother their co-workers not you guys"

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

I bet you a coke this is to fuck with the FFRF and MRFF, two great orgs trying to keep religion out of our gov.

[–] queueBenSis@sh.itjust.works 32 points 5 days ago

i’m waiting for this to backfire on him as muslims openly pray in their workplace at the designated times

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 24 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I don't think people really understand what's comming. Everyone's like "so now everyone can talk about their respective religion, haha". But where I see this going is only the one right religion being acceptable in near future and everyone who's making clever remarks being outlawed and prosecuted. The fact we're not there yet makes the obvious progression to that none the less scary.

[–] HasturInYellow@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (6 children)

I don't think you realize that christians aren't as popular as they were before. There are a LOT of others and non religious. I don't think christians are going to enjoy the process as much as they think.

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[–] b161@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It’s giving Under His Eye, Blessed be the Fruit vibes tbh.

[–] LowtierComputer@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

For anyone else who also doesn't recognize this, it's a greeting phrase from the TV show A Handmaid's Tale.

[–] Reality_Suit@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Let's start spreading the unspeakable ancient knowledge of the first one. The one that has no name but an idea of an existence. Now hum the deep tone of the empty.

Edit: Fuck CBS

[–] PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 23 points 5 days ago (1 children)

So this is where the new new atheist movement will start.

Also, remember epstein? whatever happened to that guy?

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[–] Sgt_choke_n_stroke@lemmy.world 21 points 5 days ago

"Please talk about anything else but the epstein files"

[–] MyOpinion@lemmy.today 19 points 6 days ago

I look forward to promoting my all powerful Lucifer.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago

Hail Satan!

[–] Binturong@lemmy.ca 18 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Time to found Epsteinology, a religion based around the release and realization of the Great Nefarious Files to bring about the Grand Awakening and destruction of the Orange Menace for the good of all Humanity.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Not to be confused with epistemology, which also poses a grave risk to the MAGA cult.

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[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago

Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Baphomet?

Satanism pamphlets in the break room!

[–] FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 6 days ago

Time for TST to start distributing literature through the ranks of the federal government

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 10 points 6 days ago

And fully expect this to only become worse as time goes on. The Christo-taleban has full steam now and won't stop

[–] etherphon@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

I'm sure a lot of people are re-thinking their religious beliefs after the fucking devil was elected.

[–] CritFail@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Surely that goes both ways, and one side has a lot more evidence...

[–] turtlesareneat@discuss.online 3 points 5 days ago

Everything is "evidence" when your side has "faith" and "control of the government"

[–] Bot@sub.community 7 points 5 days ago

Hail Hydra :)

[–] AnimalsDream@slrpnk.net 4 points 5 days ago

Ugh. Looking at the comment sections in posts about religious authoritarians, is about as insufferable as the comment sections in posts asking people to reduce their animal consumption.

[–] betanumerus@lemmy.ca 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

According to Trump, "re-thinking" means "doubling down no matter what, especially if you're wrong".

[–] rozodru@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

oh OH I've seen this episode before!

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