this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2025
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Leopards Ate My Face

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[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 298 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

Pinning this post for two days or until whenever I remember to unpin it because I got a report reading "Rule 1—this is not remotely LAMF".

  • It's textbook leopards. This man moved to Russia because he liked the way they eat LGBTQ+ people's faces and was blindsided when his face got eaten.
  • The only thing that isn't funny about this is that innocent Ukrainians have to fight him now.
  • Russia is a backwards, imperialist, genocidal septic tank of a country.
  • Die mad.
[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 122 points 2 days ago (4 children)

die mad

Fuck I love this site so much more than the "you've been permanently banned for inciting violence, and we deleted your comment so you can't know what you said, and furthermore we will not be reviewing any appeal cause we dgaf about users." site

[–] Donjamos@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago (3 children)

All that we are deleting the comment thing really annoys me. They even link your post in the "you have been banned" notice. And it leads to exactly nothing because at the same moment they delete your post. What's the point of linking said post if it's not available any longer. Im advocating violence fairly often, how the hell am I supposed to remember what I got banned for?

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[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 193 points 2 days ago (3 children)

So he was stupid enough to move to Russia, and she was stupid enough to take her kids and go with him.

As it turns out, being wilfully stupid can be fatal.

[–] N0t_5ure@lemmy.world 48 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] protist@mander.xyz 66 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

He already reproduced. At this point natural selection only cares about the fate of his children

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 39 points 2 days ago

Well, looks like the children's fate will also be Russian cannon fodder at this rate...

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[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 153 points 2 days ago (7 children)

Wow, that's a huge lesson he's learning, you need to do a little research.

“The point of this act for me is to earn a place here in Russia,” he told Russian state media last month. “If I risk myself for our new country, no one will say that I am not a part of it. Unlike migrants in America who come there just like that, do not assimilate, and at the same time want free handouts.”

Undocumented migrants cannot join the U.S. military during peacetime. A program launched by former President George W. Bush allowed such immigrants to seek citizenship by serving in the military, but that pathway was shuttered during President Donald Trump’s first term.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 65 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Are the migrants wanting handouts he refers to the ones who are working low paying physical jobs that Americans refuse to do, sending most of that money back to their families still in their native countries? What a bunch of freeloaders. /s

[–] db2@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago

More like the women who wouldn't have sex with him for free.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

They also don't get any federal handouts. Anything they do get is from state programs in a handful of blue states.

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[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 31 points 2 days ago (8 children)

So you said that all in Russian right?

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[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago

Also, having a service record hasn't stopped ICE one little bit.

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[–] TallonMetroid@lemmy.world 120 points 2 days ago (4 children)

”It didn’t come as a surprise to me,” she said of his joining the military. “He always spoke so highly of the country, its president, and its people, and he has a strong passion for doing the right thing.

That's a weird way to spell crimes against humanity, but I guess there's that Texan scholastic excellence for you.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago

The right thing, killing your fellow man.

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[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 106 points 2 days ago (6 children)
[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 58 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

You have been banned from Lemmy․ml

[–] oxysis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 2 days ago

Oh no anyway

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[–] Sabin10@lemmy.world 99 points 2 days ago (6 children)

If you belive LGBTQ media is all it will take to turn you gay then you are already gay.

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[–] Agrivar@lemmy.world 82 points 2 days ago (28 children)

Is it wrong that I hope he gets his ass killed by an American who traveled to Ukraine to join them?

[–] spinne@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 days ago

If he doesn't get killed by an American fighting for Ukraine, he's still going to be under fire from weapons from the US. I bet that feels bad.

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[–] InternetRando@lemmy.myserv.one 81 points 2 days ago (2 children)

All that just because he was afraid that he was gonna like sucking cock

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 42 points 2 days ago (3 children)

He might end up having to do so anyway. Dedovshchina (ritual hazing of Russian army recruits) will happen to him and sexual abuse isn't uncommon.

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

... Is the whole country just gay and hiding behind homophobia? Do they just need to learn to accept themselves and each other?

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 23 points 2 days ago

Heard a quote that sums it up pretty well.

"Everything is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power."-dunno who to attribute this too.

I don't completely agree with that, but I think it sums up some people in the Russian military pretty well.

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[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 71 points 2 days ago (7 children)

I (Texan) said hi in the parking lot to a coworker I hadn't met before. He proceeded to tell me about how he lived on each of the coasts until those areas one-by-one "went to shit." Then, he explained to me that he had to get away from all the filth that moved in to those areas and that's why he chose to move to Texas. "God, guns, and freedom as far as the eye can see." I truly regretted engaging that man with a simple greeting.

A bad interaction like this shouldn't ruin my day, but I work in public education, which means this guy is integral in supporting our community and raising our children. What has ruined every day for me since that interaction was learning that he works in HR. I'm so fucking dreading this upcoming school year.

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[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 66 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Huffman, a native Texan, brought his wife, three daughters, and their family Husky, “Baby,” with him to Russia. The couple also has three sons from prior marriages who opted to remain in the United States.

The 3 sons are smarter that mom and dad. I hope mom wises up fast enough to get the daughters out. Dad is not long for this world.

[–] burgerpocalyse@lemmy.world 45 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 27 points 2 days ago

Right? Even before the move, keeping a husky in Texas weather is cruel

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[–] not_that_guy05@lemmy.world 64 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Now, if more MAGA would go to Russia, that be great.

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[–] don@lemmy.ca 55 points 2 days ago

Excellent use of a Texan, especially one infected with the broke mind virus.

[–] Pavidus@lemmy.world 48 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Well, I'm glad he's safe from the gays.

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 40 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Not necessarily. LGBTQ people serve openly in the Ukrainian military, and while they lack some basic legal protections, LGBTQ rights advocacy has been growing steadily in Ukraine during the war.

He may be in far more danger from “the gays” than ever before.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago

Oh no, how terrible for him. We should send him bright shirts that say "not gay" to wear in combat so there's no confusion.

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[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 46 points 2 days ago (4 children)

My entire family just laughed our asses off at this. For real, we're all hanging out in the living room.

I moved my family away from MAGAt hell last year due fear for their lives.

I hope a Ukraninan drone drops a grenade on top of him and he dies screaming while he tries to hold his guts in.

[–] Outwit1294@lemmy.today 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I love lemmy. This comment would have got you banned on Reddit

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What could be more sublime than the freedom to unburden oneself of a deep inner truth? Fuck the police, death to the IDF, Luigi did nothing wrong, and please rate my drawing of Muhammad: {ಠ⁠,⁠_⁠」⁠ಠ}

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[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 44 points 2 days ago (1 children)

May your corpse feed a few sunflowers on the land you're invading. Nazi piece of shit.

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[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 43 points 2 days ago

He gets to die fighting for what he believes in--Oligarchs that don't give two shits about LGBTQ or him and his family because they're all poors.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago

Certified Idiot.

[–] heyWhatsay@slrpnk.net 21 points 2 days ago

I hope more magas follow this success story

OP, please update when the FPV drone vid starring this moron yee-ing his last -haw is posted.

[–] potato_wallrus@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

record scratch "yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got into this mess"

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago

“You see, I’m a complete fucking idiot and huge bigot, and while the latter basically requires the former it’s so much of who I am that I feel it best to mention. Anyway, I hear some buzzing in the sky, gunna go check that out.”

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