Obligatory "fuck Nestlé with a rusted pipe"
this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2025
350 points (99.4% liked)
Not The Onion
17159 readers
2066 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
350
Nestle Petitions To Cancel ‘Seattle Strong’ Coffee Trademark, Arguing It Owns Seattle
(www.techdirt.com)
I'm surprised Behind the Bastards hasn't covered them yet.
legit 3 part episode idea here
Only 3??
- Nestle, Part 1: Bad for your Food
- Nestle, Part 2: Bad for your Water
- Nestle, Part 3: Bad for your Shelter
Nestle, Part 4: Bad for your Planet Nestle, Part 5: Literal Slavery
Didn't they do one about nestle fucking over Africa by pushing baby formula and then enshiyifying it to the point babies were dying from malnutrition?
Kinky
All Nestle has to do is buy a bunch of $TRUMP, And not only will they win this trademark case by Executive Order, but the Federal Government will literally sell Seattle to Nestle....
Agreed. Also, I just wanted to point out that the way your comment is phrased makes it uncertain whether it's the name "Seattle" that Trump would sell to Nestlé or the actual city itself, including its, people, land, government and infrastructure. To clarify, I believe it would be both of those things.
Hey, he'd sell the people too
I feel like I did mention that, but I agree it needs to be stated twice, because he would absolutely sell people, fail to deliver, blame it on the buyer, tie them up in court until the buyer gives up, and then sell the people again.
Nestlé purchased Seattle’s Best Coffee from Starbucks in 2022 and this April, filed a petition to cancel the Seattle Strong trademark name, claiming it is too similar to Seattle’s Best Coffee
OK, fuck Nestlé, but I expected this to be worse. Seattle's Best Coffee could reasonably be confused with Seattle Strong coffee by an uninformed consumer. This is one of the few Nestlé cases where it can be said to be reasonable. It pains me to say that.
It's a generic name and the only similarity is a city that's commonly associated with the product. If I made a bourbon named Kentucky's Favorite and later someone came around and made a bourbon called Preference of Kentucky that would be fair.
You example is less similar than this one is, but you think it could be argued to be confusing to a consumer? I think your example could have an argument, but it wouldn't be as strong as this case.
Seattle [adjective] Coffee is very similar, especially since Best and Strong could be assumed to be different products by the same company.
Nestle can go fuck itself with a rusty rake.
Nestle is that one mega corp I make sure I never buy.
Here's the list if anyone needs a refresher.
Buying local and small businesses are the best way to make sure you don't fund scummy mega corps!
Just like they own water? Fuckers.
Wow. I didn't even realize Nestle owned Seattle's Best coffee. I've just avoided buying it because it tastes like absolute shit.
It used to be good, but yeah the quality has been going down since before it sold to Nestle in 2022.
I don't like Starbucks coffee, either. So even when it was off brand Starbucks owned I didn't really care for it, but the taste has definitely continued to go down hill.
I was just thinking I haven't heard of anything atrocious from Nestle in a few months. I'm glad they're still out there proving they're shit bags.
Remember when the news was so calm that there was time to talk about the shit Nestle has done this week?
Those were better times. And to think it's only been a few short decades since Biden left office.
There are surely more than 2 coffee places in Seattle with 'Seattle' in the name.
And Nestlé owns them all.
It owns all the other ones, too, because they dare to have "Seattle" in their addresses.
-
Sue them repeatedly until their legal costs bury them
-
Buy them out for a pittance.
Bullshit like this should be handled with large fines for the offender (Nestle) and corporal punishment for their c-suite. This will create jobs by creating a whole new branch of law, “moronic IP claims law.”
Anybody else remember the Pequod's vs QueeQueg's coffee plotline in Deus Ex Invisible War, the sort of bastard step child sequel?
I remember originally thinking it was way, way too on the nose, so as to be just actually goofy writing.
Welp, I used to think the same about Idiocracy, and reality seems hell bent on lowering its writing standards.
Christ.
...
Seattle's Best Coffee, Seattle Strong Coffee, Seattle's Most Social Isolated Coffee...
All Goddamned Nestle!
To the tone, cadence, and intensity of:
Swiss neutrality at its finest
Switzerland took it's all the expansionism it had in it and just gave it to Nestle.
Weird fighting over shit. Seattle has fuck all to do with coffee. (If your claim to coffeedom is Starbucks, you're making my point for me.)
Nestle and America should not be fighting this in the courts. They should take it to the streets. Go to war over this. Corpo-fascists killing Fascist Corpos and the whole world wins.