this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 34 comments
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[–] BallShapedMan@lemmy.world 28 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

What the hell am I going wrong then? I've been bald for 3 years and I ain't got jack shit!

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 27 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Perhaps you forgot to invest the savings into building a global e-commerce empire.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 14 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

It's getting a 200K funding from your dad that's the real trick. He also worked for a large company making money at the time, he wasn't trying to survive.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 0 points 10 hours ago

Plenty of people have received far more than that from their dads. There must be something else.

[–] Thorry84@feddit.nl 9 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

3 years? I've been bald for 20 years and I'm 300K down the hole, when does this trick kick in exactly?

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 5 points 14 hours ago

You spent it all on avocado toast, didn't you.

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 8 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

Mate I was balding when I was 19 and went full cue ball when I was 23. I'm 36 now. Where the fuck is my money??!

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 9 points 20 hours ago

You and me both, my friend… remember Balding Elon Musk? I think it’s not so much the lack of hair, more like the lack of ethics.

[–] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 20 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Steve Jobs would wear the exact same outfit, Every. Single. Day. That's the kind of dedication needed, most people aren't cut out for it.

[–] scytale@lemmy.zip 10 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Dude didn't even shower to save on water bills.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

He didn't even buy any expensive cancer medicine, he just drank smoothies.

/uj I'm not even making this shit up, he tried to beat his cancer with regulating his diet to include various fruits and vegetables and ended up using his private jet to jump ques on multiple organ donations , because , get this, YOU CAN'T BEAT CANCER BY EATING MORE FUCKING FRUIT.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 points 21 hours ago

Silicon Valley turtleneck was just the Mao Suit of its era.

[–] sniggleboots@europe.pub 9 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

don't fall for it, everything you save on barber visits you spend on razors

[–] lime@feddit.nu 5 points 21 hours ago

i spend €8 a year on razors, how many barber visits is that?

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 5 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

There's more going on here the just the lack of hair. What secrets is he keeping under that shiny dome of his?

We must go deeper.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 4 points 11 hours ago

That's no moon.

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 4 points 11 hours ago

Hans, get ze drill!

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Jeff Bezos saved hundreds of billions of dollars by downsizing his wife.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 7 points 21 hours ago

Who will go down in history as one of the best traders of all time.

collapsed inline media

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 points 19 hours ago

Makes sense, especially in this economy

[–] SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 4 points 20 hours ago

Bullshit.

Bezos can’t cut his own hair. He can’t see that far up his own ass even with all the mirrors in the world.

He probably spends more to be bald than it would cost to get all new hair.

[–] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

And than there is me who is bold and still goes to the barber because the feeling of someone else cutting your bold head with a razor knife is just great. Also I have a long beard which is the main reason to go to the barber but I digress

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 6 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Demn, I ollweys confuse English vowels

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 18 hours ago

Bold faced lies.

[–] Kandy4me@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 3 points 18 hours ago

Avocados are so expensive, that's why Jeff turned his head into a giant avocado pit. Infinite avocado hack! ~whenever he finally decides to bury his stupid fucking head underground~

This is the real way to save money on barber bills

https://youtu.be/oqRRi81jsgI

[–] loomy@lemy.lol 2 points 16 hours ago

makes sense

[–] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 12 hours ago

Is this how dougdoug rolls in the big bucks?

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 2 points 20 hours ago

Chase watches Ryan George, confirmed.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

Around my area it is hard to find a barber for under $20

[–] terminhell@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

Can confirm - am nearly bald and never seen billions touch my hands.

[–] dbtng@eviltoast.org 1 points 12 minutes ago

I stopped cutting my hair when Covid closed all the barbers. Got a fukin mane now. Dunno, seems to have worked out. Still waiting for my billions tho ...