this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] HorreC@lemmy.world 106 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Thats not fair at all, you ever see a dude wanting to fight and you tell him to calm down. I think telling pissed people to cool out just fires them up.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 42 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Tell them to get angrier and short circuit them instead.

[–] Cypher@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

Get mad about it idiot

Bonus points if you’re completely uninvolved and just walking past an argument.

[–] HorreC@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wonder if that would work, like you just start getting mad at them for how half hearted they are about the whole thing. Start saying 'if you are only going to be 10% tough about this shit you should just sit down'

I mean, I'd get madder, but anything but "I'm sorry" or "fuck you this is (and actually is) your fault jackass" is going to make me madder.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Pop off, motherfucker, I DARE you!"

*POW*

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I keep waiting for one of these drama scenes where someone grabs another dude's gun and points it at their head to end with the guy saying "okay" and pulling the trigger.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

Does anyone want to hear my far cry 3 headcanon that the gun in the beginning was unloaded and vaas was just going to recruit whoever pulls the trigger?

No? Well too bad you already read it. It really sounds like something he'd do to me.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Yeah, the only way that I've found really works is to use "I" statements.

Aiaiai, you need to calm down!

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Yeah, I feel like there's rarely a "calm down" window for the men that need to hear it. There's calm, then there's hurting themselves by breaking things or hurting other people. "You need to calm the fuck down!" is likely to work, whereas "You need to calm down" will only make things work.

Insecurities fuelled by testosterone. Where fisty cuffing anything appears to be a positive step toward sound resolution.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 3 points 1 week ago

"We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like?"

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[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

ALWAYS. A. RELEVANT. XKCD!!!

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

For some reason big guys LOVE telling little guys to calm down -- even if they're not really mad 😡 .

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

The physical inequality, just like OP's example, always makes it more egregious.

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[–] sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago

My experience is that all upset people love to be told to calm down. 😉

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

The most incendiary 2-word phrase in the English language. Said by anyone to anyone.

It's belittling and aggressive and dismissive and infuriating all at once.

Even saying something as similar as "get a grip!" has a much better chance of success.

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Found worse by accident. "Chill". Just, nothing more.

I really have to keep watvh on myself to not use it...it was my default...

[–] Tyr_Raidho_Othala@reddthat.com 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How bout you chill and calm down?

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Would work on me. Trained myself as a teen to not rely on emotions at all. Trauma aside, I do actually step back and rethink if hit with these.

Which really didn't help notice how irritating "chill" is xD

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

Personally I would still prefer to hear chill, maybe you stumbled on that person's trigger. Or perhaps it's an age thing. I associate it with peers, but maybe for them it's parents.

[–] loomy@lemy.lol 11 points 1 week ago

calm down, it's not that incendiary.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sometimes people do need to calm down though

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (3 children)

So use any one of the multitudinous other phrases available in English to actually HELP them become calmer or less agitated. Respond to the facts of the individual situation instead. "He's not worth it." "You're better than this/you have been doing so much better, don't let this set you back." "You're in a bad trip man, gonna have to ride it out as easy as you can." "Chill, dude." "Take a deep breath." (This may be followed by one loud long scream, but that's cathartic and may be followed by rational behavior)

Nobody, no matter how much they need to get control over their emotions and behavior, needs to "calm down".

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You are getting sleeeeepy...

[–] supergrizzlybear@pawb.social 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

That's a good one!

Edit: Maybe the Avengers could have gotten Big Hulk going for them if they'd told Banner to calm down!

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[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've found that "you're embarrassing yourself" usually produces results with a large magnitude and a highly variable direction

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[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

It's funny how upset some get over the phrase when in fact they really do need to calm down. You need to use some roundabout term for it, "chill", even though it means the same thing.

Interesting thing

[–] ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

My Anger is Just AND RIGHTEOUS! NOBODY TELLS ME TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN UNTIL I DO!

[–] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 8 points 1 week ago
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[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It’s usually the person who’s screwing you over in the first place who tells you to calm down about it.

[–] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

instead of "calm down" why not say "learn better coping techniques to handle my gaslighting, because it annoys me"

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[–] Jarix@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Happy Pride. Or Wrath as the case may be.

[–] Jarix@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Happy pride! Don't know what wraith is, but it sounds bad ass so thanks for that roo!

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

misspelling. I meant Wrath.

[–] Jarix@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm not the smartest man, and i so don't know what you mean, help a sister out?

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. So is Wrath.

[–] Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh and "calm your tits" is a phrase only to be used when someone involuntarily starts lactating

when my cat is being a little too impatient while I'm givong her her dinner, I tell her to calm all six of her tits. hasn't worked once but I find it funny.

[–] hark@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Cypher@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

He said like Dumbledore

[–] TwistedCister@lemm.ee 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Listen to the woman John!

Calm down! Just calm down!

[–] ebolapie@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

I think Abraham Lincoln's head just did that.

[–] answersplease77@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"relax" is one of the banned words I cannot use with my wife. If she was shouting about something and I said the word "relax", it would start a fight probably leading to divorce

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That sounds kind of abusive, ngl

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