Genuine case of "this headline could easily be true in the current climate".
this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
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I was genuinely eating this onion before I came to the comments lol. Came here to drop a WTF rant, and instead I find out I'm a dummy right now.
I was honestly wondering how many people would tell on themselves.
The audience is not to blame when comedy whiffs.
My immediate reaction was "yeah, that tracks".
Welp they got me on this one. Good shit, Onion. Ridiculous we live in a world where I believed this for a good 10 seconds.
Yeah same here.
I ate the onion
The funny thing is that, if this were true, it would be the most efficient and effective way to register a hundred politicians, especially Republicans, as sex offenders.
No, see... It was a "staffing issue"! Totally wasn't me. On my account.
Staffing issue. Do these people not even hear themselves?
You think they give a shit?
Oh no... I wasn't "watching porn" I was researching content to make sure the law is properly applied!
It's pretty much impossible to satirise US politics, isn't it?
"Indiana places all owners of Twister game on sex offender registry."
"Entire adult population held for questioning following anti-porn sting."
"Indiana prepares for porn criminalization by building prison wall around entire state."
"Indiana constructs new prison on former site of Ohio."
"Viewers of 'creampie' porn sentenced to watch videos to full term."
"ICE checkpoints established at vestibulum vaginae."
"Baby born on plane from Thailand deported back to Nigeria."
"Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize." - Tom Lehrer
Almost bought it. If they had called it a new bill, "introduced" or some such, instead of "law" it would be perfectly feasible.
The comment section saves me once again.
That's antithetical to satire.
What y'all experienced, in this headline, is The Onion fucking up. They picked a lie that's believable. Satire has to reach further than that, no matter how broken reality gets.
"Eating the onion" came from dipshits with zero media literacy believing the dumbest shit imaginable. Like "teenage girl to be tried as adult black man." If a bunch of reasonably savvy people have to check whether a satirical headline is real - that headline sucks. It has failed, as satire.
Comedy is selecting a lie your audience knows is not true. If half of them are going 'wait, really?' - revise.
Reality has been busily satirizing itself for a decade. The Onion tries to keep up but real life is so embedded into clown world now that things that were obvious satire a year ago are now believable.
We are at that point now. That point where you can't even make jokes anymore because there are no jokes stupider than what's actually happening.
The Onion, of all sites, does not need anyone's excuses when they fumble a punchline. If people aren't sure you're joking - that's a bad joke.
I used to work with a guy that was like that. Older guy that was an agent finding me contract drafting work back in the 90s. I could never tell if he was serious or not. He'd say some real borderline shit, but eventually I realised, or just decided, that he was always joking, and reacted accordingly, usually by trying to extend the joke. Seeing The Onion header is enough to know it's a joke.
I suspect you just worked with an asshole who thought you were a fellow asshole.
If the only indication that something's a joke is who's saying it, that's like people defending Dave Chappelle's anti-trans bigotry, because 'he's a comedian.' Like what makes it funny or benign is that he was onstage for an audience. Ha ha.
If satire has to be labeled as satire, it is shite.
I suspect you just worked with an asshole who thought you were a fellow asshole.
Nah mate. We're Australian. You wouldn't understand.
My guy, even you thought he crossed the line. You actively chose to believe it was banter. That does not guarantee it was.
I understand what it's like for bigots to look at you and assume you're on their side. It feels friendly. It's intended as friendly. It's still bigotry. They're telling jokes - but they're not joking.
I never said he said anything bigoted or offensive. It was so long ago that I can't even remember exactly the sort of thing he said, to be honest, but I seem to recall they were more weird than offensive.
Trouble is, no matter how ridiculous the scenario they dream up, current reality still makes it entirely believable.
Always check the community under which it's posted. It's getting harder to spot the difference between theonion and nottheonion.
As someone who grew up in Indiana, I believed it for a second or two
Should have said Ohio
It really got me this time. I read the comments before realizing the community
That's one way to send the GOP running for the border.
