this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
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[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 56 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Imagine living for centuries and still not having any money saved up.

That absolutely would be me as a vampire.

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

Bob, I’ve been asking for a raise for 175 years now, this is not cool.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 2 months ago

I would be the reason the abandoned looking house in town is believed to be haunted. I would sustain myself on curious children and authority figures searching for said children.

[–] abbadon420@lemm.ee 48 points 2 months ago (4 children)

If I had a nickle for every time I offended a vampire in the workplace...

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago

At least they're happy to give up the desk by the window.

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

One nickel ... Two nickel ....

[–] guy_threepwood@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago
[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You would have two nickel. Which isn't a lot, but since vampire doesn't exists so i want my nickel back

[–] abbadon420@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

I'm offended that this is how you remind me

[–] lazylion_ca@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I wouldn't worry. Colin Robinson seems to have a pretty thick skin.

[–] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 44 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

On the other hand, if you're immortal and you can't manage to build a fair bit of wealth, what are you even doing with your time?

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"You had a balance of 93 cents. At an average of 2 1/4% interest over a period of 1,000 years, that comes to...$4.3 billion."

[–] CaliforniaSober@lemmy.ca 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Even Fry could manage this shit backwards….

Kinda like if trump just shut his mouth and sat in his dad’s wealth he’d be rich yet here we are…

[–] BearGun@ttrpg.network 5 points 2 months ago

i mean he is rich, and also the POTUS. sure he's also a horrible person and hated by everyone left of mussolini, but that's less of an issue.

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[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 36 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Before John Polidori—Lord Byron's doctor—wrote The Vampyre (incidentally, it began at the same retreat where Mary Shelly conceived of Frankenstein), the idea of vampires as nobles who can pass among humans basically didn't exist. They were more akin to zombies or werewolves, prior to that. Polidori's Lord Ruthven was a British nobleman based in no small part on Lord Byron. Then a few decades later you get Carmilla, another upper class vampire, this time female. And then just a couple of decades after that, on the cusp of the 20th century, Bram Stoker writes Dracula, the first time we get a vampire who is not just noble but royal, and we get the full furnishings we associate with vampires today. The foreign accent, the castle, the wine (though interestingly, the wine Dracula serves is actually a white wine, not the blood-red we usually think of).

Also fun note: this Saturday marks the start date of Dracula. Over in !vampires@lemmy.zip I'm planning a read-through in real-time, if anyone wants to join me.

[–] procrastitron@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There’s also “Dracula Daily” which starts at the same time and is a great way to micro-dose the novel.

https://draculadaily.com/

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[–] DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 34 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Everyone knows that vampires live in a detached single family home on Staten Island.

[–] ebolapie@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] huppakee@lemm.ee 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Buying that castle is probably cheaper than heating it

[–] msage@programming.dev 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Good news, everyone!

Vampires don't need heating!

Or groceries.

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 3 points 2 months ago

They'd also be very happy to allow visitors.

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[–] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 months ago

Vampires don't need no warmth

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[–] ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Sorry to burst some peoples dreams.

The castle in the photo needs restoration, which is hugely expensive compared to restoring a house.

I don’t know about Romania, but in other European countries historic buildings are required to be maintained by the owner and it is restricted what they can do.

In Spain if the castle/palace is considered as a good of cultural interest, the restrictions are even higher. You cannot do activities that can damage it, like converting it into an hotel or restaurant. Also required to allow the public to visit it for free, at least four days each month.

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[–] Rolive@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Where's Gizmo when you need him?

[–] DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Mopping out Laszlo's masturbatorium.

[–] KammicRelief@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Ah the wanking shed that Gizmo eventually moves into :D

[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 21 points 2 months ago (6 children)

I'm an amateur writer. One of the worldbuilding things I wanted to explore for my fantasy/steampunk word was the fact that the life of vampires who originate from commoner class must really suck, pun very much intended. You'd end up as a "high functioning" undead who gets even the few rights you previously had stripped from you. Fertile ground for social commentary.

So in this setting there's an autonomous vampire state that's essentially communist. In other nations, vampires are, if not persecuted outright, at least constantly struggling for recognition, and are exploited as night shift workers in the emerging industry.

I wish I could find the urban fantasy story that inspired me to explore this. It was also based on the "hey, not all vampires live glorious lifestyles" premise. I think this was in some Humble Bundle.

[–] Cosmonauticus@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I dunno. I feel if you live long enough you'd eventually become wealthy. If not you're just incompetent

[–] Dragonstaff@leminal.space 6 points 2 months ago

Especially if you regularly murder people.

[–] LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I’m 1000 years old but I still don’t have my shit together

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

at least constantly struggling for recognition, and are exploited as night shift workers in the emerging industry.

This reminds me a bit of Reg Shoe, leading dead rights activist in Ankh-Morpork.
Of course the Discworld is more funny, less grimdark, compared to your ideas.

[–] doc_dish@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or the vampire in Feet of Clay who gets jobs in a pencil factory, as a sunglasses tester, making holy water, etc.

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Oh yeah, and wasn't there a Vampire who became crime scene photographer but had a vial of blood in his chest pocket. Just in case the flash would kill him, the vial would break when his clothing drops and blood would instantly drip onto his ashes and revive him. (Could be the same vampire, not sure)

[–] doc_dish@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

That was Otto Chriek from The Truth.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

Sounds like "Anno Dracula" by Kim Newman.

Dracula managed to kill Van Helsing and then married Queen Victoria. AS Prince Consort he's brought the undead to the Empire. There are vampire trollops who live no better than their 'warm' sisters, and great Lords.

Fun book, and first of a series.

[–] Allonzee@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

When you're immortal, compound interest really does become miraculous.

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[–] justsomeguy@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What was that post I kept seeing about vampires? If you've been living for centuries and you're still broke just walk into the sunlight.

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm in the middle of reading Dracula for the first time right now and while the count part makes it seem normal for Dracula to be living in the castle, the castle is absolutely a vampire stronghold that has been in the dracula family for centuries because they are vampires.

Like I'm sure the count thing is a good excuse but it's implied that they've been around and probably in the castle since before "counts" were a thing.

[–] groet@feddit.org 3 points 2 months ago

Its also probably fairly easy to become an aristocrat if you are immortal. You start as a mercenary to earn money, then you win a decisive battle for your lord and he gives you a noble title and lands.

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 6 points 2 months ago

So I don't get a castle? I thought it'd be my chance to get on the property ladder now I'm all Nosferatu living in a sewer eating rats like all the other millennials.

[–] wanderwisley@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What is the vampire opinion on the current state of tariffs, and global warming, and do they agree with evangelicals?

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

At this point in time the vampire community refuse to make any political statement. Meanwhile they find global warming rather concerning, what with the sun being stronger now. Evangelical blood is highly prized within the community.

[–] wanderwisley@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

We are gonna get a statement next from the werewolves community and the swamp things Coalition after a word from our sponsor, Count chocula.

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