No Stupid Questions

Two reasons: Practical considerations (shared assets, certain legal protections, I've seen people get married for an easier go re: immigration in some cases, etc. Basically check your local laws); and ritualistic.

I find people often discount the importance of certain ritual practices in Western secular society, and for a lot of people ritual in general is a whole lot of fluff and nonsense. But having a ceremony to recognize a formal joining of two people, and by extension their families (to varying degrees), with the at least ostensible intent that you will live and die in partnership with that person, is a powerful thing. It's a common ritual among multiple societies, with lots of variation and differences in exactly what it signifies, but the ubiquity speaks to that power IMO.

Don't get me wrong - I think divorce is a good thing for when the partnership truly does not and cannot work, and people can live happily in lifelong unions without marriage - but for some folks, taking that vow in the eyes of your friends and family (and whatever deity concept you may have, if that's your kink) is a very important and serious thing. Something changes, to some degree, when you take that oath.

It doesn't have to be expensive - that it often is, IMO, is a function of capitalism infecting a beautiful thing more than anything else. You can have a wedding in someone's backyard officiated by someone who paid $25 online for a certificate, with a small number of close friends and a potluck BBQ afterwards, and it would be just as valid and meaningful as a wedding that cost 100k (shit, IME the smaller one is actually more meaningful in a lot of cases). It's the intent, ritual, and meaning participating parties place on it that's important.

Depending where you are, there are tax benefits to legally married couples.

If cost is an issue, you can have cheap wedding. But I think the concern is more cultural in which there is an implicit expectation to have a grandiose wedding, like in a church and have a huge gathering and party with dozens if not hundreds of attendees.

You pay less taxes, its easier to get a loan (if you both have good credit), you automatically have all the rights to know about their health in an emergency situation, whereas a girlfriend/boyfriend needs to go through extra steps, some of which are impossible in an emergency. Some people also view marriage as a very religious thing and so that part of it is a big deal to them.

It can be very, very inexpensive for the costs of a court filing fee and a friend getting an online certification to officiate the wedding.

You get tax breaks while married, and a lot of things in life are easier when you're married and sharing the same living space, bills, etc. The world has been built to make it more economical and easier.

It's the getting divorced that's expensive and sucks. As long as you can avoid doing that, or have a prenup in place, you're good.

Kind of a niche answer, honestly me and my wife of 20+ years might still be “living in sin” if it wasn’t for her decision to join the military, in order for me to move with her to her home base, we had to be married. It allowed me to visit Alaska which was a great adventure, though I am glad that she is out and we are living normal lives since.

My wife and I met ages ago. We were friends for a while. Went on some dates, and eventually got together. I think we were dating about 8 years before getting married, we knew we were compatible. We didn’t rush anything.

I got married in Vegas, it was a very affordable wedding. That was almost 10 years ago.

If one of us dies, being married is a very easy way to make sure the other person inherits everything they need to survive.

I also see how impressed older people are when we say we are married, it seems so few people get married anymore.

There are so many good reasons to get married. Just be sure before jumping in that both are on the same page of life and goals, compatibility, compromise and understanding, etc.

Legal items aside. My wife has my back and I have hers. Having a partner in life you can trust with yours is a special thing.

It doesn't have to even be man and woman. I know a group of older men who have a group dynamic where they are all basically each other's partners....not sexually, just supportive.

Medically if something were to happen to one of you, the medical staff can only engage with next of kin or a parent. It makes those medical emergency situations much easier to navigate through. Sure, you can go through all sorts of legal stuff to make it work and spend a ton of money on legal fees, or just spend the $50 on a marriage certificate, do a courthouse wedding, and be done. It's an all in one package deal.

No, you often cannot replace the rights of marriage with other paperwork. But even if you could, does not that already answer your question? I think so...

If you want that legal framework and marriage provides it in a simple package, then maybe that's the way to go.

So, Suze Orman is a fairly well-known investment advisor. Back when marriage equality was new, she totted up that there were over 1100 benefits to getting married. I don't know what they all were, and I'm sure some of them are obscure, but still ....

Depending on the country it can make e a significant difference in finances, because taxes, inheritance laws, credit scores, etc.

Finances aside, yes, for some people the ceremony is a ritual that carries heavy meaning and the ring and a ceremony is a way to strengthen the relationship. Is a ritual that is culturally significant and very significant for some. Everyone is different so just because for you and me it is irrelevant that's not the case for thousands of others.

It's like swearing an oath of sorts. You may ask yourself, why do they waste time in court making people say they won't lie and why some need to do it with a bible? People still lie after all. Or what difference does it make when people hook pinkies over a promise? It's just a promise like any other and it can be broken. But people still do these things, and they get married too.

Getting legally married is intended to protect the couple under certain circumstances as you suggest. You could attempt to perform the same with other legal means but it would be harder and costlier; like you deciding not buying a car but putting one together yourself.

The notion people get legally married out of love or worse that "a paper does not say I can love a person" seem to just have a 7 year old notion of what marriage is

Courthouse weddings are a thing, and not expensive. That covers the legal part, and doesn't require any fancy lawyer stuff like whatever wills or trusts you're thinking about. Not like we have any real assets anyway. Rings are not required, but you also don't need to spend a ton on them if you do want them.

The answer will likely depend on the place in the world and even on the cultural background of individuals getting married. I'll just share my experience.

We got married out of convenience. While it's technically possible to arrange the bulk of the legal stuff with various contracts, it is just easier to use the "default contract" that already covers the most common use case. Some legal arrangements, for example cuts to inheritance tax or the right to remain silent when asked about your spouse in legal proceedings, are only available for "real" marriages.

Once we decided to have children we looked into the various arrangements needed to make that work and quickly found out that marriage is the easiest way to sort everything out. In our day to day life nothing really changed. In legal terms quite a lot is now different.

By the way, as others have mentioned, getting married isn't expensive. All we paid was the administrative fee which was something like 50 Euros.

It doesn't have to cost a lot to officiate a marriage if you have 2 witnesses and use the registry office.

Being married doesn't need to cost anything. You could not organizing any kind of célébration. You could stop at a dinner with the guests you can host at home. Or do a big party on a yacht with firework. It doesn't matter.

Getting married is officializing to society that the person you love is your family. Building a link separed from love that could fade and vary with time.

This link make also easier to share advantage that is usually reserve to one. Patrimoine, possession, inheritance, joined whatever. It give you the right to make décision in the name of your SO in hard times. If they had an accident, if they are missing or having a dire disease.

Many people fear prénuptial contract but it is the best way to build a marriage in a way to have all the advantage without the dependance. And realising that a relationship might end and that each should be fearly treated without having to fight for it doesn't equated douting a relationship. If you don't fear séparation, you can sign anything. Right ?

I talked about this a lot with my partner since we had been living together for a couple of years before we decided to get married.

Marriage, to us, is really just an external expression of the love that we share and the commitment we have already made to each other. The marriage itself is not the commitment, just a statement of it. There are lots of members in our families who disagree and say that marriage itself is the commitment, but then again they’re the same ones who have been divorced or who have extremely unhealthy relationships with their spouses.

Leaning on a piece of paper with your signature on it as the reason you’re staying with someone is idiotic; paper tears extremely easily. I choose to love my partner, not because a paper tells me that I chose that long ago, but because I wake up every day and make that decision.

Why get married? I dunno, if it doesn’t mean the same thing to you, then don’t, and I say that with no judgement at all. If you care more about the person than you do about the idea if marriage (like I do) and you gain nothing from a marriage, then don’t worry about it and just focus on the person, yourself, and the relationship you both share.

I want someone to marry me again someday. I want someone to stand in front of my friends and family and profess their love and devotion.

I gave up on that dream a couple of years ago.

I think it cost us nothing. I’m in Finland and happily married after many many years.

Getting dressed up and having a big ol party

Of course there are the legal benefits people have mentioned, but I think a lot of it is that humans love our symbolism and ceremonious tradition. Sure, the ring and ceremony aren't what make your bond, but it is symbolically immortalized through them.

Weddings don't have to be incredibly expensive. My wife doesn't like diamonds, so I proposed to her with a piece of her birth stone. We had our wedding in a state park, we were able to reserve a large section of it for sub $100. We went with simple silver wedding bands from a local jeweler. The biggest cost was food and drink for 70 people. Even though ours was comparatively cheap for a wedding, you could do it way cheaper. Some couples choose to elope, some have a smaller ceremony with only their closest family. It doesn't need to cost an arm and a leg to be a beautiful day.

I got married while standing in a river and I incorporated a pagan ritual in front of a select few of unsuspecting parents and their spouses.

Worth.

A month and a half later we held a fancy reception dinner and served pancakes.

Also worth.

You gain legal protections against being forced to testify against one another.

Just go do it at court on the cheap and throw a party.

Depends a lot on your personal situation, and jurisdiction.

• Doing a ceremony when you publicly say you love each other is already a valid reason

• In some jurisdiction, you'd get a form of tax benefit for being married, it often comes with downside like having welfare benefit based on the couple revenue rather than on individual ones (hence the tax benefit). Talk with an accountant/Tax-lawyer knowing your local laws for details

• It gives a legal status to your shared asset. Sure you could create a real-estate-investment company to buy your house and many people do that but being married, with a proper prenup give you a lot of agency regarding your shared asset

• It protects the weaker partner, usually the one scarifying their carrer for the couple if things goes wrong

• No need for a big ceremony, you can get a notary to prepare the pre-nup contract, and do a ceremony at the townhall with 2 witnesses and done.

Depending on state, healthcare applies to spouses but may not for long term partners. You can’t do that with a will or trust

You also get tax benefits

Getting married should only be expensive if you want it to be, although too many people fall for the peer pressure.

• For me I was overwhelmingly in love, ready to declare it to the world and willing to pay anything for the one big party of my life. That may not have entirely worked out, but was how I felt at the time
• My best friend just got married for reasonable cost. Still had a big party, but it was 40 people in a park, and we went to a restaurant after.
• Another friend got married inexpensively, maybe. Was it the $100 actual cost, or do you count the week in Vegas?

My partner and I wanted it for legal reasons, especially since I'm disabled so he can make medical decisions etc.

We can either "register as partners' or get married. Both cost the same. Marriage had a wedding party. Costs a lil bit more, but brought together all of our friends and had a beautiful day. So why choose boring?

Are you perhaps asking from a US perspective? Or maybe Indian too. I don't know of any other countries where marriage is expensive really.

We got married in Vegas as a fun thing to do, since we're Swedish. Legally the difference is extremely small between being "sambo" (co-living) and being married, and we could just as well kept going without getting married.

It's the symbolism

I want to show the world that I love my woman, and I'll do it in every way that I can