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No, I never said fame is the only thing worth pursuing or that it is even the most important or common. I would put scientific, medical, artistic or civic/political achievement before fame.
See that I can understand, obviously I'm a no one from bumfuck nowhere, I'll settle for living comfortably, having friends, a partner, a successful career and free time, and I think I can make peace with that.
But it doesn't mean I wouldn't throw it all away if I could swap to being an adored millionaire celebrity living in a mansion in Hollywood.
I do have the ambition, I'm just being realistic.
On the other hand:
This I don't understand. Of course it's okay you numpty, I never said otherwise, I just said I don't understand why or how this comes about, so if you're one of those people I'd like to hear about your experiences and why you are the way you are.
I understand the wish for fame, because I did feel it around the time when I was like 13 or something. Then I took a look at the way of life the really famous people lead and I realized I wouldn't want that. I love the freedom of anonymity way too much. When it comes to ambitions, I always wanted to understand the world as much as I could. That also lead me to natural sciences. I get a lot of fulfillment from learning things. So I guess I'm not really success oriented, although it's a nice thing, but I get a lot of kick out of getting new information and connecting it in my head, that's what I love. And that's not very fame related, right? I live a comfy life and I do what I love, so suddenly becoming famous and losing it all looks like a nightmare to me.
I think we're just talking past each other, because a lifelong pursuit of science and learning is ambition all the same to me. Finding that and sticking to it is "success" as much as anything, even if you don't seek field-wide accomplishments.
For me it's the same thing, though I've not been able to commit to anything specific, and I would like to be accomplished enough to be recognized at least in some way one day, even if it's only by peers in my field, I consider it a desire for quasi-immortality, to leave some sort of record behind.
I'm actually enjoying our conversation and I think our missunderstanding is just a minor one. I never said I don't have any ambition. You asked me about my ambition or lack thereof, so I described what's driving me.
Anyway, I think there's a difference in having an ambition as having some driving force behind your actions, which is necessary (I want to have blue walls, so I go and paint them blue) and the character trait that is referred to as being ambitious. No-one gets called ambitious just for wanting to have blue walls, even though it technically is an ambition. Someone who wants to be famous can be called ambitious, though.
I think with time I'm becoming more and more self-confident and the need for other people to confirm my own value is therefore diminishing (although it's not completely gone). I think the fame ego boost is a lot about that - being told that you're valued.
I can relate to the need of being recognised for the good job you've done. And to the desire for quasi-immortality - the knowledge of one's own mortality is such a hard thing to live with.