this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
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We bought this run-down house, my boyfriend and I. While he started working on converting the kitchen into the main bedroom, I insisted on removing the old wallpaper. The previous owner papered every wall and ceiling in the house! It’s a lot of work to remove, but it feels so good to get rid of it. The best feeling is getting a long peel, like when your skin peels after a bad sunburn. I turned it into a game, on the hunt to rip the longest piece possible.
I noticed there was a person’s name and date under a corner section of paper in every room. I couldn’t help but investigate and Googled those names. What I discovered left me speechless. The names all belonged to missing people, and the dates matched the day of their disappearance! We notified the police, who sent the crime scene team. I overheard one of them say, “Yeah, it’s human.” Wait, what’s human? “Ma’am, where is all the material you removed? This isn’t wallpaper.”
Oops, already ate it. Sorry, didn’t know it was evidence.
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you know, in a day and age where it's wearisome to accuse one's neighbours, i still find it surprisingly easy to tell my friends you're a scoundrel.
Another debunk: human skin wallpaper would be irregularly shaped, so it wouldn't have "corners" to write names and dates under. Also, it would be a lot more than one victim per wall. Also also, I'm pretty sure it would look profoundly weird and not like normal wallpaper at all.
Nice foreshadowing with the bit about peeling a sunburn, though.
must ... not ... ask AI to generate human skin wallpaper
It would look like leather, except that cowhides are big enough to cut into reasonably large rectangular panels and human skins aren't.
(On a related note, one way you can tell a leather sofa is high-quality is by checking the back: if it's made of several stitched-together strips, that's good. If it's one big piece, they cheaped out and used vinyl 'cause cows aren't that big.)
If you already have some spare skin you can at least use it for somethimg. You wouldn't eat that anyway, and mom will be happy for you remodeled the kitchen!
Who's to say it's not like pork rinds?
it puts the fiber on the walls or it gets the audit again
If you have not read it, I recommend you this short comic: https://emcarroll.com/comics/faceallred/01.html
Same dread feeling...
Thanks for this recommendation! You know some places where I find more of this?
This one is also very good.
Get the short stories from Stephen King, I like "Everything is eventual" particularly "The Man in the Black Suit" , I have kids now so I think about this one pretty often. Also the "1408" short story is there.
E.M. Carroll has some other comics but I haven't read them yet.
And switching things a little bit, play "Fear amd Hunger" or watch Worm Girl narrating it. Really dread-y
That's all I remember for now.