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She has a lot of money, which I can't get into the details of because of privacy reasons, but she could live off of the assets that she has and is safe as long as the entire system doesn't collapse. She doesn't really need retirement funds from the government.
(The only small problem is that we're not white... but then again, you got Clarence Thomas in Supreme Court so I'm not sure race really matters if you have enough wealth to shield yourself.)
As for "value", she's probably answer that she makes a lot of money, and therefore that's "value", I mean how do you win argument against that. "I'm rich" is basically her sword and shield. And noboy left her an inheritance either, so there's nothing of the sort I could use in an argument.
(Not really rich, more like "middle class")
She said she spent so much money on me so I have "negative value". She paid the fine for my illegal birth against government policy, and she said childbirth was a lot of pain. Spend so much time and money to raise me. So I "owe" her a lot.
I mentioned about that time during my birthday that she made me help her with... her bussiness stuff (which I can't talk about in details. I told her she ruined my birthday (it was my 18th birthday btw, so just... wow...). Then she told me so what? 生日又點呀，好巴閉呀？(So what it was your birthday, wow such an acomplishment!) Then she reminded me that she did all the work of giving birth to me and raising, and I should thank her.
I'm sorry if I sound so angry, I just... I have no one to talk to. (I'm working on finding psychiatric help, but I feel like I can't trust anyone)
Every second I'm near her, its just belittling.
I hate my heritage more and more because of this.
I have no way to leave. I'm just trapped because I was never allowed to cultivate the skills to live independently. I was always helping with my parents with their bussiness, no time to learn independence.
No time like the present. Run away from that cunt.
I'm not going to pretend that I understand your culture, I don't. But I can understand the "child of immigrants" position in the world that we share. I just started a LOT longer ago.
And I won't belabour the point. I'll sum up.
They moved here because of what THEY wanted. They also want you to be eternally grateful and follow their example. Except, you are a person, too. So, if they can't see how glorious you can be, they can either watch you struggle with cognitive dissonance induced depression forever or they can let you grow, explore and find what you're great at.
For the record, I needed a clean break from my dad to be able to rebuild my life. He was the role in my life that was toxic in the same way you describe your mom. That was in 2005. Incidentally, part of my story also had me leave North America for over a decade. I spent some time in Korea and China while I was away.
I hope you find your way clear. There is a way, you just have to find it. Take it slow. Determination and focus on a goal can help alleviate depression. This is an excellent step, asking about on the 'net. Everyone has value. Your mom is blinded to the fact (and it is certain) that she too was what we once all were, young, naive and full of unrealized potential. So she found her potential and realized it, but she forgot about it ever being unrealized. And that is on her, not on you. She is not better than you because your potential is as yet unrealized, and she's actively damaging your potential by pretending she is. Ignore it, stay focused and find your way.
Edit: and if you can find professional help that you trust, good. Depression is not just in the mind, it can be physiological as well. You may need to find out, but this will be part of your journey.