Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
I get it. And I know that feeling alone sucks.
On the other hand, there are plenty of other American otaku, myself included! There are more than enough to find other people to be social with.
I reccomend looking for geek related events and gatherings in your nearest city, conventions, movie screenings, barcades, hobby groups, and so on. My city (Portland) has all kinds of otaku stuff going on all the time. I went to a 3 hour long screening of the entirety of Gunbuster, and it was a full house, with people selling art, DVDs, and model kits in the lobby. Even making friends online has meaning, and If you can find likeminded people online who are local to you, you might be able to turn online relationships into offline ones. There is no shortage of nerds out there I promise.
But actually talking to people is the harder part, right?
No joke... if you shower, wear clean clothes and a neutral antiperspirant, and figure out something nice to say to people (a simple compliment like "I love your shirt!" is a easy ice breaker and sets you up for a follow up conversation), it's a great way to practice being social. Make sure that your attitude is positive and try to avoid making people feel bad, stupid, ugly, etc.
Now... Not every social interaction is going to turn into a lasting relationship, and some of them might be awkward. (Occasionally a subset of people are going to be rude jerks for seemingly no reason, but that'll actually a bigger problem for them then it is for you.) So I don't recommend socializing with a specific goal, like finding a girlfriend, in mind.
You're much better off trusting the process and simply trying to amass small social victories. For example, asking someone how their week is going, learning somebody's name who you see often, complementing someone, joining a new group, etc.
I'm in my late 30s and I've made some personal social milestones that I'm proud of over the last few years, so I think it's never too late to improve your social situation.
Good luck, man.