this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2025
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[โ€“] IronBird@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

i'm kind of going through this myself recently...it's a weird experience, have basically been an american otaku the last 15 years or so i guess. combine that with (high-functioning) autism and adhd...i'm seriously terrible at human interaction now and I'm not even really sure how much is the fucked brain chemistry and how much is the long-term social isolation.

also, not to detract from your example but it was shown multiple times that the holograms were/could become sentient...which kind of undermines that plotline, i feel

[โ€“] mrmaplebar@fedia.io 1 points 1 day ago

I get it. And I know that feeling alone sucks.

On the other hand, there are plenty of other American otaku, myself included! There are more than enough to find other people to be social with.

I reccomend looking for geek related events and gatherings in your nearest city, conventions, movie screenings, barcades, hobby groups, and so on. My city (Portland) has all kinds of otaku stuff going on all the time. I went to a 3 hour long screening of the entirety of Gunbuster, and it was a full house, with people selling art, DVDs, and model kits in the lobby. Even making friends online has meaning, and If you can find likeminded people online who are local to you, you might be able to turn online relationships into offline ones. There is no shortage of nerds out there I promise.

But actually talking to people is the harder part, right?

No joke... if you shower, wear clean clothes and a neutral antiperspirant, and figure out something nice to say to people (a simple compliment like "I love your shirt!" is a easy ice breaker and sets you up for a follow up conversation), it's a great way to practice being social. Make sure that your attitude is positive and try to avoid making people feel bad, stupid, ugly, etc.

Now... Not every social interaction is going to turn into a lasting relationship, and some of them might be awkward. (Occasionally a subset of people are going to be rude jerks for seemingly no reason, but that'll actually a bigger problem for them then it is for you.) So I don't recommend socializing with a specific goal, like finding a girlfriend, in mind.

You're much better off trusting the process and simply trying to amass small social victories. For example, asking someone how their week is going, learning somebody's name who you see often, complementing someone, joining a new group, etc.

I'm in my late 30s and I've made some personal social milestones that I'm proud of over the last few years, so I think it's never too late to improve your social situation.

Good luck, man.