this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2025
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[–] Canopyflyer@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

There's no such thing as sex good enough to deal with a partner that is incompatible with yourself.

You don't spend all day, or even the bulk of your time having sex with them. The bulk of the time you're having a relationship and that relationship takes work and at least some compatibility between your personalities and goals. Especially when bills, sickness, and kids come into the picture.

That is if we're talking about a long term commitment.

Short term?

Yeah, sex can make up for a lot. I dated a girl in 2000 who was... By far the best at sex and she was down for damn near everything. My 30th birthday present from her is still something I daydream about today 25 years later. Unfortunately, she had a lot of issues and our relationship ended after 6 months. We hooked up about a year later for about a month and she was trying to make us work, but my feelings for her just did not develop so we broke up again. We're actually still friends now 25 years later. She got over her issues and has been married to a man that has treated her very well for the past 15 years.

Mrs CanopyFlyer (56F) and I (55m) have been together 21 years and married for 20. We have two kids. She and I come from very different backgrounds. She's an east coast born highly educated (MD/PhD) lady that was the top of her class at Yale. I'm a mid-west born barely educated redneck that she's somehow tamed and taught to eat veggies and salad. Also her parents absolutely loathe me, even to this day. What made our relationship is our ability to sit and talk to each other. We have very similar views on politics, religion, and many other things. We're also both tend toward being rational and open minded. We are an absolute unit when we have to come together to solve an issue and my god have we had our fair share of those.

I absolutely have her back and I know for a fact that she has mine, empirically many times over. That's the basis for a long term relationship.