this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2025
-13 points (32.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

36045 readers
1762 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 25 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] toomanypancakes@piefed.world 21 points 12 hours ago

I tolerate my husband's bullshit because I love him, and he's worth it to me. It doesn't matter if we're fucking frequently or never. I can't imagine being with someone for life if that wasn't the case.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 10 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Other way around: There is bullshit on a level that ruins any and all sex. For everything else, there's patience and empathy and therapy

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 10 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I think the more interesting version of this question is “how long can really good sex keep you from noticing all the bullshit?”.

Everyone has blinders on at the start of a relationship, but once you reach a point where the amazing sex is “your regular sex”, when do you start to have uncomfortable conversations about your future?

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 4 points 10 hours ago

Yeah, prolly, I'm not a wordsmith

[–] Zwuzelmaus@feddit.org 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

sex keep you from [...]

If you live it this way, then you are using people, and their sex (or other aspects of a relationship) as a drug, to keep you away from your life.

Please stop abusing people this way. Take care of your own addiction problem.

[–] sic_semper_tyrannis@lemmy.today 8 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

If that's your own perspective I think you two need to end the relationship

[–] Marshezezz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

People who cause a lot of bullshit in a relationship are better suited for a one night stand

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 10 hours ago

Don't bring them to yours, and don't let them see your license plate. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 7 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Not very because I love them and want to help them with their bullshit.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 10 hours ago
[–] Dalacos@lemmy.world 7 points 12 hours ago

Good sex can keep a relationship going for longer than it should, but it won't be indefinite no matter how orgasmic.

[–] Zwuzelmaus@feddit.org 6 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

sex

deal with your partner

bullshit

Relationship.

It's called relationship. It's one of the most important parts of human life.

(And btw your own bullshit isn't any better than your partner's)

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Lmao nothing, was just watching TV and was curious.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 2 points 10 hours ago

Just felt more like a " How good does the sex need to be to get me out of this shituation I've gotten myself into" type of question

[–] Carrolade@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago

Depends on what type of bullshit.

On one end, if the bullshit is just "my partner wants me to give a fuck about them", and you don't want to have to do that, then decent sex might be enough to make you consider changing your mind, if you're also compatible in other ways.

On the other end, if the bullshit is "my partner has psychotic breaks and chases me around the house with a chainsaw", I don't think any quality of sex would really merit consideration in the bigger picture, given how short your lifespan might become.

So, there's something of a scale there, and it partly comes down to what you personally consider bullshit to be. People won't agree on that, it's a personal thing.

[–] _cryptagion@anarchist.nexus 2 points 11 hours ago

my partner doesn't give me any bullshit, but the sex is pretty good anyway.

[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 hours ago

I love my boyfriend. We are both autists. Just me with ADHD and them also basicly being asexual haha But i love them and am respecting and taking care of their needs. No sex needed :3 My little human cat partner is the best without exceptions!

[–] Perspectivist@feddit.uk 1 points 9 hours ago

For me personally, sex is just yet another thing to have to deal with. I could easily do without - I'd actually even prefer to.

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 hours ago

This really isn’t what you’re asking.

My wife and I have been married for 30+ years and we figured out that the key to a long healthy relationship is all about how well you put up with/tolerate each other’s bullshit. We all have our bullshit.

Sex is one part of the tolerance column, as is how well your partner’s company is mentally stimulation, how well you like each other how well you compliment each other on handling the business of life and if you just like the other person. Also there is a lot to be said about knowing boundaries.

I like to game. She likes to read “smutty romance” novels (as she calls them) so that is a good match as I go off to slay demons in the digital world for a few hours a couple times a week she will then read about mandible man with a glistening chest..

So the sex needs to be really good.

Now my answer to your question for when I was a single soldier stationed in Germany. It was all about the HTA offset. If the Hips tits and Ass offset the noodle than I was good.