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This may be a harsh thing to say but to me (outside of a very small few situations) suicide is one of the most selfish thing to do.
You bring all of your own internal pain (that has a chance to get better if the right help is found) and to instead impart it on everyone else in a form that is unhealable because what was done can never be taken back.
And this will affect parents probably more than anyone else but it will also affect everyone who was even remotely involved with you. Your memory will always be pain because of how it ended.
I have grieved for "normal" deaths for decades. Grief never goes away, it just goes in the background. I hope I never have to feel the grief of someone close to me committing because I'd be a constant wreck.
Talk to someone close to you, please. And if you feel there's no one close to you, the distance is relative and skewed inside of you. There will be someone who would do anything to help you, sadly sometimes it might end up being someone you've yet to meet.