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A question for those who have a partner, how did you manage to do it and how long did it take? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by deadymouse@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I know that I need to go and touch the grass, but I'm an introvert, it's hard for me to communicate with people on the street.

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[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 8 points 2 days ago

Used hinge. It's the least bad, as of this year anyway.

Most people who use dating apps are, frankly, bad at it. People send garbage messages with garbage profiles. People half-ass it and expect the other folks to carry the whole thing. I feel like I could write a short book on how to do it better.

Condensed into like three bullet points it's

Ask questions. Do not dead-end the conversation and expect them to do all the work
actually ask them out. Like, in the first conversation after you clear any must-have deal breakers (eg: if you have a kid)
put stuff you want to talk about in your profile. Don't be "clever" and respond to "what are you looking for?" with "my keys". This is where you give the other person topics to talk about. (Also if you are tired of people asking about the stuff you put in your profile, change it you doofus.)

Being "an introvert" doesn't excuse you from being present and engaged. The other person isn't going to be that interested in someone who responds every couple hours with "lol". If you can't muster up the energy to have a real conversation, you aren't ready to date.