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That women are vastly more interested in sex than men. To the point that it becomes a core pillar of identity.
What do guys discuss on guys night? Cars, video games, work, local politics, their kids, sports and poker.
What do women discuss on girls' night? Men, penis sizes, relationships, sexual behavior/conquest.
I think women are very interested in sex, and pre-modern times the stereotype was that women were the horny gender.
But I think what you're describing is more about gendered social norms in conversation. The fact that (some) groups of men don't talk about sex that openly is because sexual prowess is tied up with social status and most men wouldn't feel comfortable discussing sexual problems, failing to satisfy their partners, not really enjoying sex or anything like that for fear it makes them less of a man. And because of that, guys talking about how much sex they're having, or how they tried this new thing and their lady went wild for it, kinda come across like they're bragging.
You're not entirely wrong but my point is actually that yes it is literally and directly true that it is more important to women than men. I say this from a lifetime of lived experience as a non binary person, I've spent my life in both groups.
It is so bad, when I'm with groups of women I often think to myself, is the only thing these people think about..... men? (edit: This also applies to bi and lesbian women... all they talk about is every chick they've fucked, how they were wronged by their partner, who they'd like to fuck, and the dynamics of their relationships and social drama)
I respect your experience, and I'm sure that is true for you. I'm not sure what country you're from, or what generation. These sorts of things are pretty dependent on a lot of different social factors outside of gender. My experience has been that, in terms of groups conversations being dominated by sex chat it goes gay men, lesbians, straight cis women, straight cis men. But its super socially dependant - most of the men I've spent time with are total nerds, maybe army guys or jocks are different? Living in Britain, France and Germany the norms around those sort of conversations have been very different, and I bet America and Japan are different again.
My bigger point was you can't infer how much something pre-occupies a person by how much they talk about it. I've know women who enjoyed talking about relationships and sex with friends, but were happily single and not that interested in it beyond gossip. While some guys would never discuss it directly but pretty much every decision and interest in their lives had come out of a desire to meet and impress women.
sex is social status for both men and women.
largely derived form the 'worth' of the sexual partner. low value partners are something to be ashamed of, high value ones are to be bragged about to peers.
I think when you really break down sexual behaviors and all that, there is very little difference in men vs women and sex. The major difference is the narrative they pursue and tell themselves about sex though. And very few people can separate out their behaviors from the narrative they tell themselves.