this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
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I've been seeing poop in a path which is connected to the gates of my house. This has happened 3 times now over 1 or 2 weeks. When I saw the poop first, I thought it must be a dog. But everytime it dries (every 3 or 4 days), a mysterious pile of new shit is dropped on the old shit. It's (very) black, very smelly and in the EXACT same spot!! Right on top of the dried shit!! I'm convinced it's a human being. I've decided I'm gonna hide in some bushes nearby and catch them doing the deed. But what do I do then? What if they don't care and continue doing it? How do I make them regret it without getting into trouble? It'd be nice if they couldn't tell it's me.

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[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 15 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (2 children)

What's the maximum amount of time you could tolerate hiding in the bushes with spiders & bugs, unsure when/if the serial shitter might ever return? Would you be willing to hunker down in the spider bug cold pokey bushes all night long & all the next day, and on day 3 at 4:42am you finally catch the shitter in the act? Will you have no tent? No sleeping bag? Snacks? Activities to pass time? Do you not have a job & duties to attend to, this wouldn't interrupt your week at all? Probably much easier to install a camouflaged motion-sensitive camera to capture the shitter. Then what you do? Turn the camera footage into the police.

[–] Karl@literature.cafe 6 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (2 children)

Damn, you're right. Idk when he's gonna show up. As for cameras, I'd have to buy them online and by the time they arrive, vacation would be over.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

Print out the Lemmy thread where the guy needed to hold his shot in for 5 days and leave it neatly folded next to the poop.

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

You're in a developing country (I'm a pedant and third world means not allied with the US or the USSR, which doesn't exist anymore). You're on vacation. You won't be there much longer. Leave an envelope with $20 in it and a note that says "Stop shitting here and have this with our blessing. Shit here again and we will follow you, take the money, and beat you. We are watching"

Or don't. Whatever. You're not there long enough to receive a package from Amazon, so why stress about it? A street sitter has a lot more problems in life than someone who can go on vacation. Their continued existence is probably it's own punishment

Oh here's an idea.

  1. Cover the pile with sand/Kitty litter.
  2. Get a little flag of the local football team, or whatever the local favorite is, and plant it in the sandy shit pile.
  3. ???????
  4. Profit.
[–] Karl@literature.cafe 1 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

What does it matter if it's on vacation? I still live here and will continue to do so once my holidays are over, it's my home and i don't need a serial shitter around it.

I didn't know about the third world country thing, thanks for telling me.

[–] rami@ani.social 4 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

When people read "on vacation" they think you're at an Airbnb or something, not just off work at your house.

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

Oh my fault it sounded like you were only there for a few more days based on other comments you made, sorry I misunderstood.

Would your neighbor be willing to set up the trail cam when it comes? Otherwise this seems like something that'll have to wait till you're back home. As others suggested, waiting in the bushes is a recipe for misery.

If you're dead set on catching the person, start logging (ha ha! log) the days it happens. Once you narrow down the pattern try waking up every couple hours to see if they left a fresh one, then you have a future stakeout time. Once you have the pattern and time window, grab a friend, a couple clubs, and when you catch them, persuade them with reason, logic, and threats of violence

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

You're telling us more about yourself than you might intend.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Oh you really think so? Go ahead and describe everything about me & my life as best as you can, solely based on what I said up there.

[–] jim_v@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I think the comment you are getting worked up over was intended for the OP, Karl.

[–] Karl@literature.cafe 1 points 15 hours ago

And what did I tell that I didn't intend to?

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 1 points 14 hours ago

Tsk, you just told us SO much more. scribbles notes