129
Why do some Americans "feel ashamed" for being American even when it's not their fault?
(sh.itjust.works)
this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
129 points (90.1% liked)
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I feel deeply embarrassed about being from the US. It's like hanging out with a group of friends out of necessity, later realizing they were all assholes, and trying to come to terms with the fact you spent so many years with them. I live outside the US now and I'm even more embarrassed to be from there. Every time there's some culture shock my takeaway is either "wow how did I normalize this broken aspect of the US" or "I wish I was from somewhere that didn't do those things to that person's country".
I also feel embarrassed and guilty over getting out of the US. I worked in tech and now I'm living off tech savings to start a life outside the US. I left my friends behind many of them are struggling financially, I left my community behind many of which are actively homeless, I chose to leave. Sure I'm leaving in part because my trans ass is on the chopping block but I see a lot of trans people fight harder instead of flee. I fought for so many years though and I couldn't keep doing it so I left. The US did this to my community, made me confront choices I never wanted to make, I'm disgusted by having paid taxes to the war machine, and I justify working in tech as a way out of there but really I feel guilty over choosing to buy into that side of the US too so I could secure personal safety.
Please don't feel guilty for leaving somewhere you don't like. That is your right. Stay safe, friend.
Living in the USA myself, I feel shame at how I normalized and rationalized the horrible aspects of this country. I'd already been a minimalist and was anti-consumerism from before I was an adult; but I had downplayed the severity of our systemic violence until it hit me personally. Above all I wish I was doing more to fight this system, like the people you described.
For as long as I am alive I will stay in the USA. I'm not going to give up on holding out here, as miserable as I've felt this last year. I'd like to believe something I do may someday inspire others who are braver and have more resources to do something more concrete.
Don't feel guilty for seeing the signs and getting out whilst you still can. Millions of people throughout history haven't been as fortunate.
Once Trump and Project 2025 is done with immigrants you can bet your arse the pendulum will swing onto LGBQT people in earnest
Not the pendulum. The gunfire.