this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2025
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I read some people who vent on their posts or talk about problems they face in life and the replies they get is, no you are the problem, fuck you.

On Reddit, the only thing that is close to this is when women complain about their boyfriends, they got told to leave them, whatever is her complaint about.

Any explanation?

Disclaimer: I am not talking about my own experiences here, but rather what I read in other posts, my observations could be wrong.

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 6 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah. That tracks. Every community I was involved with in reddit... and IRL, kind of works this way too.

It starts with open minded plain talking enthusiastic folks, then the 'concerned' people start invading it and want to sanitize it so that it's 'inviting' to non-enthusiasts and they start policing everyone the way they police themselves. And their primary concern is not the idea or hobby, but it's presentation being as 'acceptable' to as broad a spectrum of people as possible... which ultimately makes it bland and boring to the OG people. and the OG people are 'offensive' to the new people who are only there for the 'image' of the thing. Also the diversity of perspectives disappears, as only one perspective is allowed as the 'correct' one.

I generally prefer an environment full of outspoken people who actively disagree. Average people find such an environment hostile and they want to build a loyalty based consensus and exclude those who are disagree or are non-believers. I like the former because I learn things. I hate the latter because I learn nothing and it devolves into a circle jerk of people who want 'safety'.

[–] Dogyote@slrpnk.net 1 points 47 minutes ago (1 children)

then the 'concerned' people start invading it and want to sanitize it so that it's 'inviting' to non-enthusiasts and they start policing everyone the way they police themselves. And their primary concern is not the idea or hobby, but it's presentation being as 'acceptable' to as broad a spectrum of people as possible...

I've encountered this first hand with anti-tankies. I was questioning their concern about .ml, suggesting they were being counterproductive and were actually advertising .ml, and several people responded that they're scared new users will find .ml and be so offended that they'll leave lemmy. It seems ridiculous to me that an average user would care about retaining and maximizing users on lemmy. Why would someone care? It doesn't make sense. This is lemmy, it's never going to be cool. It's where a bunch of nerds argue. People should go back to reddit if they want size and an echo chamber.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 points 35 minutes ago

people who want to be cool and popular