this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2025

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157

Please help me under stand my spouse's gift and their hurt (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 day ago by GrayBackgroundMusic@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

154 comments fedilink hide all child comments

For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I've never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It's sentimental.

I don't like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It's perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don't like new things.

We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?

We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I'm not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don't like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?

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[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've only ever owned one car under 100k and it wasn't by much, lol

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My truck has 400k right now and runs great.

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 1 points 1 day ago (3 children)

What's it made of? Adamantium? I managed to reach 200k kilometres (~120k miles) with one of my previous cars and I was afraid it would just break and the repairs would cost more than the car did (which did happen, but not to me, it was after I sold it for a 30-pack of beers).

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

lol what are you doing to your cars where they only run for 200k? Gotta keep up your maintenance man.

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 3 points 1 day ago

I did maintenance, I just didn't want to invest into it more than I paid for it.

[–] BurgerBaron@piefed.social 1 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Not being made in Europe or by Stellantis is all.

Asian cars run until the frame rusts in half.

[–] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 18 hours ago

It's made of slowly replaced parts. I got my little diesel to 280k before a bad oil day ruined it, and whenever I talked with other folks who had engines that high, no one ever seemed to consider the replaced plugs, alternators, radiator bits, water pumps, belts, and everything else that gets worked on. I think the only things original by the time I lost it were the headers, cylinders, and maybe a few hoses.