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As soon as it begins, I'll put on that one rubber horse mask that's been a meme on and off for the last 20 or more years.
That in itself might be enough.
If not I may be forced to make horse noises. There's actually a sound that's called "blowing" I think is perfect for the situation, so I could technically "blow" the interview and still get the job if they're sufficiently unhinged.
Were it not for the potential for criminal damage, I would also stand abruptly before making the noise and then, with suitable timing, violently kick the chair backwards.
I think that could all fit nicely within 30 seconds.
Or, you know, I could just tell them the truth that my mental state is incredibly fragile and the tiniest amount of work stress or office politics is going to be detrimental to both myself and the company in very short order and that I should not have been sent there in the first place... but where's the fun in that?