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this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2025
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So he perjured himself, then? Surely something's going to come of that? No? Huh, okay, then.
If the sandwich did not split, you must acquit!
comment of the century.
You missed your calling in life. This comment would have blown up the legal world if said in court.
Im sad it wasn't done.
He also claimed he felt it through his Kevlar vest. Didn't know sandwiches are more powerful than bullets.
To be fair he was a little bitch, and little bitches feel everything.
ironic since they’re heartless
Is
Is a little bitch
This circus will be a part of Why veterans hate ICE.
There is a big difference between being able to feel something and being injured by it.
Indeed. Conservation of energy means he definitely felt it, just spread out over his entire torso, bouncing off harmlessly.
It hit him right in the fee fees, and badly damaged his already fwagile mascuwinity.
You need special plating to handle those sub-sonic sandwiches.
collapsed inline media
To be fair, while wearing one you can feel someone lightly patting you on the chest. I'm sure he did feel it but no way on earth did it hurt.
Yeah, the vest distributes pressure, but doesn’t stop it. It’s not a magical force shield. You can still feel things… If someone pokes you, you feel it pushing on your chest. But you feel it with your whole chest, not just where they poked.
Clearly this was a Subway sandwich with an armor piercing tungsten penetrator ingredient. Evidence submitted by the prosecution cited Subway corporation's recent advertising campaign featuring the slogan "I can't get enough of that tungsten!". This branding campaign was, of course, a backpedal from Subway's previous offering of a Depleted Uranium penetrator which was largely shunned by sandwich consumers as being 'unhealthy'. /s
Sandwiches can melt steel beams, didn't you know?
Bush did Jimmy/Johns.
It's a feeling
Kevlar doesn't stop feelings 🥹
So I was on a jury. The officer involved testified on some things that made it sound very bad for the defendant.
Then we saw the body cam of part the interaction. Technically what he said was true but extremely exaggerated. Made us discount everything he said that wasn't on video.
We ended thinking the defendant was probably guilty but they didn't prove it so we decided not guilty.
Thats how the jury i was on went but it was before body cams. Basically they said dude was "exchanging small packages for money" implying he was dealing drugs. The cops claimed he tossed the "small packages" when he drove off. They never collected these "small packages" so how do i know what they were?
We all thought dude was probably guilty but that the police work was too shoddy to convict. Cop looked pissed on the way out of court.
Cops do it constantly. TBH I'd chalk that level of bullshit up to them constantly using ChatGPT to write their reports now, except that they've been pulling the same bullshit forever and getting away with it nearly every single time.
I firmly believe that police officer testimony that can't be backed up by bodycam footage shouldn't even be admissible. There's essentially no reason for a cop to not have their bodycam turned on at all times unless they specifically chose to turn it off, so there's no reason we should have to accept testimony without it.
They should be immediately investigated if they ever turn it off for any reason.
I’d take it a step further and say that police testimony without body cam footage should be outright exculpatory. If the prosecutor is allowing a cop to testify without also trying to admit the footage, it should be grounds for the defense to get the charges dismissed with prejudice.
Wasn't there a case of police officers badly beating someone and then claiming his blood stains on their uniforms were destruction of police property or some such?
I'm not aware of that specific case, but yeah that tracks. I've read about incidents where the cops were enraged about things like victims of traffic accidents or assaults by officers being soaked in blood, getting it on them, and stating that they 'didn't want to risk getting hepatitis/AIDS' as justification for declining to provide lifesaving medical intervention. In some cases, the delay in care led to deaths, while they stood by, and weren't censured by their departments.
They've been using seizures from acute health incidents and tazers both as justification for escalation of force because "suspects were resisting" for quite a while.
It's my moment to remember Elijah McClain. Rest in peace, you beautiful soul.
I can only hope to have such grace and kindness in my heart when the fascists kill me.
Fuck grace and kindness, at least enucleate their eye. Getting murdered IRL isn't like in books, TV series or movies, you don't just fall down like a sack of grain. It hurts the whole time, don't forgive someone who's trying to do it to you.
Fuck, that was so brutal. Even given what I've learned about cops over the years, this case is particularly egregious, that poor fucking kid was murdered by pigs and paramedics with fucking ketamine of all things.
Everything about that case was horrifying, from the Koncerned Karen that called the police because he was being too Black on the street to the fact authorities tried to sweep the whole thing under the rug. The cops responsible even went to do selfies mocking Elijah on the anniversary of his death and a violin vigil was disbanded as if it were a looter mob after an earthquake.
And this to a human being that played the violin for shelter cats because they seemed to enjoy it. Elijah's soul was so beautiful, it breaks my heart that he's gone.
Jesus Christ. Wikipedia has his last words. They're spoilered in case you don't want your day ruined
Last Words
According to body cam audio, these were McClain's last words as he was restrained by police officers: "I can't breathe. I have my ID right here. My name is Elijah McClain. That's my house. I was just going home. I'm an introvert. I'm just different. That's all. I'm so sorry. I have no gun. I don't do that stuff. I don't do any fighting. Why are you attacking me? I don't even kill flies! I don't eat meat! But I don't judge people, I don't judge people who do eat meat. Forgive me. All I was trying to do was become better. I will do it. I will do anything. Sacrifice my identity, I'll do it. You all are phenomenal. You are beautiful and I love you. Try to forgive me. I'm a mood Gemini. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Ow, that really hurt! You are all very strong. Teamwork makes the dream work. [after vomiting] Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to do that. I just can't breathe correctly.I actually just learned at work the other day that everyone who is a first responder as part of their job and therefore may be exposed to blood borne pathogens is required by OSHA to be offered a full Hepatitis B vaccination paid for entirely by the employer.
These officers claiming they don't want to risk Hep B either declined a free vaccination and therefore created that risk for themselves or they're fully vaccinated and just making excuses to not do their job
Motherfucker, if you're first aid/CPR trained, you are supposed to have appropriate PPE with or near you while on your job that will see you encounter such situations. If you don't, that's negligence on your part, and if you're just choosing not to use it so you don't have to get involved, you need to be taken off that job.
My neighbor was a retired cop turned gun dealer. One time while I was chatting with him, he mentioned that back in the 70’s and 80’s, he and his buddies used to claim “the defendant violently groined me in the knee, causing injury” on their police reports. In other words, they’d knee someone in the crotch, then say the person attacked them with their groin.
it is actually worth pursuing that…
even just posting comments about that on every news video about it on youtube would help.
we have a rare combination of undeniable, clear video evidence vs. sworn testimony in court that is unambiguously a lie.
There’s no real wiggle room on that.
Why not call prosecutors and annoy them? Or send letters to the judge?
Such a delicate flower, isn't he?
More like a snowflake ❄️
This should result in a Brady-Giglio impairment for the cop since it happened in open court. He should be done as a cop.
You can't really perjure someones opinions or recollections, only a direct and provable lie. He says the sandwich 'exploded' and he could smell sandwich contents. He probably got some amount of sauce or something on him, even if he didn't, photographs can't prove with any certainty it did or did not happen and you certainly can't disprove he could smell onions and mustard.