this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2025
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I kinda just realized I never really talked much to parents besides the occasional mentions about school or news...

Which is likely why my first language kinda never developed beyond like 1st grade lexicon, since I use English outside of home, and also its the most common language on the internet most websites and media is English, its the lingua franca of the world..., so I never really got to use my first language much, not much conversations. Or perhaps its the other way around? Maybe the language barrier that caused me to not really able to have a conversation with my parents in the first place. Idk.

So... yea... relationship-wise nowadays... not that close... the reason is kinda self-evident lol

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[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Mom talked all the time as a kid. Still talk to mom all the time. When i was away i used to call 15 minutes a day when i waited for the bus. One of my favorite humans to talk to.

Father side: I had forced visits and at some point late teens I stopped being excited to see him. He wasn't a terrible human it was just he was disappointing. He did the best he could as a parent but he his dumb. Like room temp iq. Its hard to talk to him and not fun. I disagreed with him on everything and he never listen to a word me or my sister say. it felt like it was his world and we are npcs. My SO had a theory that you get along with ppl at your mental level and it's evident my father never left his early teen years.

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I stopped being excited to see him. He wasn’t a terrible human it was just he was disappointing. He did the best he could as a parent but he his dumb. Like room temp iq. Its hard to talk to him and not fun.

Relatable 😆. You know how usually fathers are the head of the household and the breadwinner? In my family, my mother kinda is the matriarch lol. We immigrated to a different country and while my mother obtained citizenship but my dad kinda... 10 years after he's eligible, still unable to learn the language to become citizen... ugh... actually kinda worried due to current political atmosphere around here (USA). Now its like 15 years, there's a language waiver, so I hope he finally get it, because it'd be awkward to have the family separated, my previous country doesn't do dual citizwnship so my mother and I already lost that country's citizenship upon getting the new citizenship.

Can't really have much deep discussions, like... even with my lexicon, I tried best to explain my political views, dude was like... "okay" like just have zero views of his own, always parrotting what the last person or social media post said. Lolol.

My mother was actually the one who helped me with learning how the money (since coins don't have numbers on it lol) worked, helped me with learning basic English (she somehow knew a little English because of the sales job she had back in our previous country) vocabulary, and kinda... sort of... showed me how existing as a human being in society works....

But even then my mother still kinda refuse to talk politics, not surprised, that's how people have learned to survive under authoritarianism... it becomes instinct... and now authoritarianism is kinda approaching here in the US too, lol. Almost like they predicted this and decided to stay silent.

Much less conversations about philosophy. Philosophy is just "overthinking" to them. They'd never understand free will vs determinism, presentism vs eternalism, lapalce's demon, that sort of stuff...

Like... they're both on the philosophy of: "It doesn't matter of its a white cat or black cat, as long as it can catch mice", they don't care about politics as long as we can survive.

I basically had to learn all this politics and philosophy stuff all by myself online.