this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2025
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This brought back Bedbug based paranoia I thought I had laid to rest nearly a decade ago so thanks for that.
I hope you have a speedy and painless solution to our problem, but I'm really glad I'm not you OP. My god, if I never see these bastards again it will be too soon.
fun fact if you have bats in your area, they also carry bat bugs, which are relative to bed bugs and they can also infest your house too. there is a theory that bed bugs evolved from bat bugs, also they look alike.
This is the opposite of a fun fact. I'm going to sneak into your house and steal your fingers for typing it
Wait till you learn that bats are one of the the most populous genus of animal on the planet, they even live in Antarctica
https://worldostats.com/global-stats/bat-population-by-species/
I'm not sure what's more alarming here: the bat bugs or the people willing to steal fingers out of spite.
Wait what. It's illegal here to move bats once they've picked a home. How do you prevent bat bug infestation
I've often wondered about what a person can legally do if bats have moved into their home. My initial crazy thought was to get some new "pets" that are bat predators. Who wouldn't want a house filled with racoons, snakes, and venomous spiders?
i mean they're a protected species here. any action you take that it can be proven was intentional to get rid of the bats could technically land you in hot water. if it weren't for the bat bugs that i just heard about i wouldn't mind so much because they eat mosquitos and i like anything that eats those fuckers. our neighbor has fake shutters on their backyard windows. bats moved in there. it was fun watching them take off every night. their solution? have some construction in their backyard and oops it needs a jackhammer for 3 godsdamned bullshit months with no fucking days off.
I had a coworker that had bats take up residence in his attic and he wasn't allow to remove them. That was all fine and well (not really because of the horrific noises) until they gnawed through the drywall and started pouring into his house. I can't get the image out of my head of him swinging a tennis racket at them as they flew around his living room. It was right out of an 80s comedy except he had to live with the results. In the end, he just moved because he couldn't do anything else. From that point forward, I decided that I would tell no one about bats if they wormed into my home and would make sure they wanted to leave.
By shooting them without moving, ideally before they pick your house.
Can’t have bedbugs if you don’t have a bed. knock on the head
I WISH those little fuckers worked like that. Bed bug PTSD is real.
Seriously, I've had it once before when I stayed at a place in New York almost 20 years back at this point.
I was like, oh ... why are these bumps and why are they in a row? so weird!
Although, worse was when I got a bed in London UK at Swiss Cottage to just stay one night. It was like a dorm room bed. I think I estimated that I got like 200 bed bug bites in total. I had to estimate but it was crazy. What's funny is that when you're entire body is covered in bites, the itchiness bothers you a bit less because if it's just one area you keep scratching it. However when it's your whole body, you're like ... everywhere equally hurts so I don't need to bother scratching. At least that's what it was like for me.
Sorry, just releasing out the trauma :P
Now whenever I get any bites ... I just freak out and wonder if it's bed bugs. I woke up last night and noticed an itchy bump and just freaked myself out.
Right there with you. I had to fully encapsulate my mattress (which was a brand new memory foam), spray poison all over everything, then heat treat the entire room until my blinds melted.....TWICE!
My wife still freaks out if she sees a spot of dirt on the sheets, and that all happened 7 years ago.
You never quite get over a bed bug infestation.
My situation was a dorm room situation I couldn't get out for a WHOLE FUCKING YEAR. The caretaker didn't give a shit, all my dorm mates slept with a lighter close by, lighter fluid was traded around like cigarettes and blowies in a jail yard.
We got our revenge on the asshole caretaker though, the bugs managed to infest that guys room too. Unlike us he couldn't just get up and leave at the end of the year. Fuck that guy.
If I have to travel, I keep my luggage out the door and check the entire fucking room like I'm Brezhnev's Soviet security detail in the 1973 Washington summit visit. No stone unturned, no corner or edge left unchecked.
Fuck Bedbugs.
It's been 10 years since my bedbug nightmare. The bugs are long gone, but I'm still inspecting the mattress and box spring cover weekly with a magnifying glass, and blasting my laundry with hot water, high heat in the dryer, and sprinkling diatomaceous earth all the fuck over.