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Lemmings who made it out of incel-dom, what advice would you have to your previous self?
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this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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Nice guys don’t get shit from my experience
if you're only positive quality is being surface level nice, you need to work on yourself before dating
I’m good not nice
you dont seem to be nice or good. someone being nice do not expect to get something in return, thats why you are responding with. incels expect a woman's attention when they "pretend to be nice.
that's still not a personality. what makes you good? are you a hard worker, compassionate, charitable, funny, creative, etc? being good is the bare minimum
Are you, are you really? Are you really that good of a person? If Good is your thing, that's your personality and that is what you are and do then absolutely. Volunteering a soup kitchens, working with the poor, donating your time to various charities, being excited about it, talking to others about it? That's a personality and something that bolsters confidence and is something you can converse with people about. However, if being good is small favors or performative acts then you're going to need more than that to build a personality. Holding doors open for someone is not a personality. Again, nice is not a personality. Good is not a personality. Look inward. Discover who you are first. Seriously we're rooting for you, but you aren't going to be able to just say "I'm too nice" or "I'm too good" here. Here on Lemmy we're not going to give you the bland Reddit answers. Life is hard. You're going to have to dig deeper and look at yourself.
Look at all the comments here, look at what they're all saying. I've read them all - seriously every comment here. The vast majority all include that bit right there, we were all the same, with the same feelings - and then we realized we needed to look inward.
See my comment in here.
Way too long a read. All ik is being nice will get a man no where with these so called “women”to sugar coat what they really should be called
Imagine typing this comment and still see yourself as a good guy. I'm gonna need me some of that cognitive dissonance, please.
Well, I can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
Maybe summarize it to a paragraph or two and not a whole text book page
I already did for you above. If you can't read a few paragraphs then you obviously don't want to be helped.
imagine thinking a slightly long post is too much