Ask Lemmy

I grew up in the west, I didn't bother learning about what "traditions" there are, because the way I see it, its a bunch of outdated BS that's patriarchal, misogynistic, and toxic masculinity.

A lot of it is, but in that sense it's probably no different from traditions anywhere else. Pretty much all traditional cultures are patriarchal, etc. to some extent. We just observe it more closely in the ones we grow up with.

The only reason why I was even born was because my parents expect me to fund their retirement

As a parent myself, I gotta tell you the math does not check out on that one. Bringing up a kid is a huge expense. It sounds like you didn't have the best childhood, but I assure you your parents didn't have you just to fund their retirement. Whether they're expecting it is an entirely different matter (you probably know this very well, but for the others reading this, Asian expectations are that parents invest 100% in their children's future with no savings of their own, with the understanding that the children will in turn be responsible for the parents once they're too old to work). Unfortunately it doesn't sound like you're very close to your parents, so it seems they kinda dropped the ball on taking care of you emotionally.

My advice would be, try to take a step back. In the grand scheme of things, dressing up and attending a dinner is a pretty minor issue. You don't have to like it, but learning to suffer through situations you're not personally loving is essentially part of adulting. Try to find your moments of enjoyment during the event where you can.