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Parents turn to smartwatches for their children amid global phone screen-time pushback
(www.straitstimes.com)
this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2025
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This has been so good for me and my kid. If they are out and feel like they need adult help, we are a watch tap away. If they want to come home early from a friend's house, send me a code and I'm there. If they want to go to their friend's house after school, I'm a text away.
We have a no phone until you're 13 rule so while the watch is a stripped down phone, it's not a phone so easy for us all to understand, plus it's already stripped down, no hassle no fuss.
What a weird rule. You are intentionally destroying your kid's social, developmental, and interpersonal opportunities because you're unwilling to actually put in the time to parent.
The least you could do is give them a dumb phone, so they are ostracized less. Or better yet, actually teach and parent them how to use a phone, and then give them a phone with locked down permissions to block tiktok/etc that are actually problematic, while still allowing them access to things that allow them to relate to friends and their community. Trust but verify.
They are parenting. This is what parenting looks like. You don't just give them everything they want. Sure, you can also choose to give them a phone, and you can choose to lock it down. You can also choose to give them nothing. Parenting is about making those decisions for your child. It isn't about listening to random people tell you stupid things online who act like they're more knowledgeable about your situation.
Parenting is about making the best choices you can for your children, not simply making choices for your children. And I never said to give them everything they want. To take the example to the extreme, you could certainly give your kids 'nothing' in regards to food, but that's not parenting, that's child abuse via starvation. Obviously giving your kid access to a phone is not ANYWHERE near equivalent to access to food, but it illustrates the point- parenting is not simply deciding things for your kids, including what they get. You need to do your best to support them into becoming the best them, and that includes giving them social opportunities. In a perfect world, yes, absolutely, phones would be something you give to a kid maybe in highschool, or even when they leave the house, but only when you decide they deserve the privilege, but this isn't that world. Phones aren't just privileged toys- they're the expected (and in some cases only) methods of communication and connection for people. We can sit here and argue whether or not that's a good thing or not- I personally think it isn't, and as someone that's forced to be on-call 24/7/365 I think I have a pretty good grasp on the matter- but it's where we're currently at, and unfortunately we have to work in that structure even if and as we're potentially trying to change it. Give your kids the opportunities, even while explaining the problems and why they need changed, you know?
The fact is, the dude says in another comment that s/he is intentionally trying to socially isolate their kids to 'protect them' which is textbook helicopter/overcontrolling parent and deeply fucks kids up for life. S/He literally outright says they want their kids to cleanly break from 'friendship drama' and the literal outside world. That's.... words cannot describe how concerning that sounds.
Well you clearly don’t have kids, and if you do, you sound like the shitty parent lol
What an odd, incorrect assumption. Kids need to be able to socialize. This isn't the 1980s anymore, you can't just go to a mall, there are very few physical third spaces anymore, literally none in some locations.
For a lot of kids, those third spaces are via phone/online. I can absolutely understand wanting to limit exposure to bad influences of phones, that IS good parenting, but you need to offer alternatives, or managed use, or something, or you're socially isolating your kid. Worst case scenario, you're getting them bullied- kids can be cruel (though from what I've seen, not as much as they used to be, thankfully).
The person literally said in another comment:
Now, I'm assuming this is partially a situation of english not being the first language, from some of the grammar, but wanting to have their kids be 'cleanly' broken away from friendships, school stuff, and the very outside world sounds.... look, I'm going to be frank here, their literal goal seems to be socially stunting their kid via helicoptering.
Kids need to learn who they are. You're not trying to raise someone to be a child, you're trying to raise someone to be a healthy, functioning adult, and part of that means going through friendships, even friendship drama, exploring the outside world, etc etc.
One of the malls near me recently made it against the rules to be there if you're under 18 without supervision of someone over 21, with the wristband enforcement and everything. It's literally impossible to socialize outside anymore because everyone hated teenagers and wanted to get them off their lawn. And now they're all inside because that's the only place left for them and now they still aren't happy. We need better places online and offline for kids and teens to socialize because this is getting ridiculous
Yeah, they've done that at the malls near me as well. Surprise surprise, 3 of them have closed down and the fourth is a ghost town.
Basically every store in the place is some kind of crystals-and-juju or retirement-scam place, along with somehow a ton of phone case booths?
When I was a kid (might be dating myself here) there was music shops, arcades, bookstores, food, all kinds of shit.
I can't remember enjoying going to the mall either and I guess I assumed that was because I wasn't into clothes because gender dysphoria but I suppose there were actually reasons people liked to go to the mall. My experience growing up in Suburbia was that it was completely socially dead
Basically adults hated teenagers and kids so they banned them from everywhere and then they still want happy and now they're angry at kids staying inside all day because they destroyed outside. Destroy the possibility of having a normal social life and then go after the consolation prize too just despite them. You know the same assholes that want to take away kids phones aren't going to consent to any kind of urban planning changes to make it easier for them to have offline friends
You
A good point, but I'll note that most socialization for kids these days doesn't necessarily happen at a singular friend's house- it's typically in a private chat/channel/group/etc online.
Under 12?
For better or worse, yes. (Probably worse, but this is the world we have to deal with...)
I feel bad for your children then
For getting to experience life instead of being locked in a house, only able to interact with family?
Lots of assholes want this because they don't want their kid being exposed to outside influence because they are crazy Christians
I think you're interpreting way too much into that person's post. And wrongly too.
I am, admittedly, basing some of this off other posts the guy has made in this... err, thread? Post? Not sure what the lemmy vocab is here, but I can quote it:
I dunno about you man, but kids probably don't need protected from friendships, even if they might have the occasional drama.... and 'the outside world' comment just concerns me.
I admit, the wording here is a bit... Weird. But my guess is, the OP just doesn't want their kids subjected to drama 24/7. Evolution really had nothing in store to deal with the sheer amount of information that Smartphones provide. It's unnatural and very unhealthy for the mind. Drama face to face? Sure! That's part of life. Internet drama? Fuck that noise. Humans need rest from certain areas of life, which they don't get with the 24/7 online aspect of phones.
I do agree with the dumbphone bit. A dumphone makes a lot of sense, e.g. in the case of an emergency. Plus, they can call their friends, which has way more social merit than texting does.
You are really telling everyone how little you know about parenting. This is what parenting looks like. You parent the kids you have with the skills and tools available. It doesn't look the same for everyone.
You should probably sit back down.
13? How many of their friends have phones because I would assume their using phones, just not one you gave them and I know from experience other parents do not do the most basic of filtering in their kids devices.
I’m pretty sure the goal behind the no phone rule is not that utilizing a phone is inherently bad, but that you’re trying to avoid building the habits and behavior that comes with having a smart phone on you, like doom scrolling, constant social media access, constant distraction etc. And in that case, the kid having some limited access to other kids phones (If they even do. Who among any of us just lets someone else use our phone unrestricted) isn’t going to undermine that effort.
Yes there are a multitude of reasons, not least that filtering only does so much and constant surveillance is unrealistic.
As well as unhealthy. Why give your kid a device if you don't trust them with it?
That's my standard. Either I trust them with the device, or I don't, and no amount of filters will help me feel comfortable with giving them something early. I was a kid, and I know kids can figure out how to evade filters. I've done it myself.
So no, either no phone or complete trust, and they need to earn my trust first.
Yes, it's part of set them up to succeed not fail. And another part of it is I want them to have a clean break from the outside world, from friendship drama or clinginess, from school stuff, etc. Digital switch off isn't something people are good at doing by themselves as adults!
I think the healthier way to handle that is to explain why it's a good thing and help them set appropriate boundaries. I like what my boss does, every week or two they have a "no tech" day where they put their phones in a safe, including the parents. They then have fun together, either by playing board games, having a picnic, etc.
Give them advance notice so they can plan appropriately, and make sure it's fun. If they like it, they'll likely want to do it again.
I think you're assuming a lot from a little. I'm not explaining every thing we do around my home and my kids. I'm explaining 1 thing, it's not everything.
What else can I do? I'm not speaking specifically to you, this is a public forum so I'm trying to keep my statements broad enough that they'd hopefully apply to more people than just you, but who are in a similar situation.
If it doesn't apply to your specific circumstance, cool, you're presumably an adult and can decide what's best for you and yours. My larger point is that having some amount of distance from technology occasionally to improve bonding within a family is generally a good thing, for most people. Maybe your kid is autistic and screen time is the best way for them to learn and interact. Idk, I'm not you, I can only speak to what I've seen written.
When you say things like "the healthier way is..." that's a response to me directly and a judgment. So it's that kind of thing.
But sure it's fine, I'm open to the conversation, just not up for defending a decision.
That's an opinion. It's also one that I could probably support with evidence, though the research on the subject is in flux right now, kind of like video games and violence were back in the 90s/00s when we were concerned about school shootings.
If I say I do X and you say the healthier way is Y, that is a response to what I said and a judgment. If that's not what it is, you'd need to write it differently.
Yeah the hard part is that there no real established science on this, it's the wild west online and we're approaching it slowly with open conversation and trust at an age appropriate level. There's some risk but that will always be true.
It'll only be when we look back that we'll maybe know the right way but maybe not. Like a lot of things, it's very context dependent... the child, the family, the village, the relationships, the school, etc etc
Sure, but general rules do exist. When I read something online (e.g. save X% toward retirement), that's obviously not going to cover everyone's use case, because everyone's situation is different. However, that doesn't make the advice bad, it just means it's not applicable to those who fall outside the average. For example, maybe you need to plan to take care of a special needs child, so you'll need to save a larger amount of money so they are cared for after you pass. Or maybe you got a big inheritance and therefore already have a head start on retirement, you'll need a smaller amount of savings going forward.
If a given bit of advice doesn't apply, either correct it with relevant details (helps other in a similar situation), or ignore it and move on.
So yeah, what I stated absolutely is a response, but it's not a judgment. I don't know you personally, I only know what you're posted (which may or may not be factual). So that's the context for opinion/advice I provide. I tend to write in a matter-of-fact way because that tends to be more concise and I already get wordy enough.
The raise your child to use a device appropriately. Waiting until they are a teenager is far too late to form the appropriate habits around self limiting screen time.
I get that no one wants to blame the device but this is clearly a parenting issue and I say this as someone who has on average raised far more children than anyone in my generation.
But go ahead and lean into the articles that blame on the evil algorithms and the evil corporations. Personal and parental responsibility is hard anx blaming outside influences is easy.
Raise your children or someone else will do it for you.
Given that smartphones didn’t even exist until I was a teenager, going to go ahead and call bullshit on that.
Sure is. Too many parents handing their developing children smartphones long before they should. Luckily OP hasn’t made that mistake.
And nobody needs articles to tell them the corporations and algorithms are evil. Some of us are old enough to have lived through the advent of them.
Exactly. I see kids walking to elementary school staring at a smartphone. Why? What could they possibly need a smartphone for?
I'm not sure when we'll give our kids phones, but certainly not in elementary school. I might start them on a flip phone in middle school/junior high (like 12-13yo) so they can text, and probably give them a PC as well around that time for intro to SM so they can keep up w/friends. But a smartphone isn't happening for a while. Until then, if they need a phone, I'll have one they can borrow.
But they are raising their children.
Without a phone.
The algorithms have been proven to be addictive. Do you really think Facebook is your friend? You are their product, not their consumer.
Raise your child to smoke meth appropriately.
I am a living breathing example of a kid who got a phone at 17, I had a bit of a honeymoon period with it, had lots of fun and distraction, but eventually got used to it and actually use it for organising my schoolwork to do list, check the weather and my daily schedule.
I do tend to use social media on it, but only on the bus, since that's usually when I don't have anything else to do. I self limit my screen time pretty well, usually only 30 mins to an hour total per day, and I've always had all my devices without parental control systems, since my parents never knew how to set them up.
Also, you saying it's never about algorithms designed to siphon your attention is inherently incorrect of a statement. They literally have hundreds of data metrics to effectively lock you into staring at the screen mindlessly, although parenting also has a part to play, since you also should teach your child on how to control their attention and harness it to actually do something fulfilling, though many parents don't know how to.
hey! who let this kid on Lemmy?
don't their parents know we're a bunch of fucking sexual deviants hell bent on the overthrowing of our oligarchic overlords?!
That's why I sent my kid here! To be radicalised!
..... but my kid is a cat...and has no opposable thumbs...and he was already an asshole....wtf am I doing with my life......
For what it's worth I'm 28 and I agree with them. Being able to communicate online was the only thing that kept me alive through my teen years and if anything I needed more quality social opportunities online not less.
you can't possibly compare your experience from 20 years ago to what children can experience online today.
I know what was going on online then because I was around your age now then.
I've been where you were. I was on forums and BBSs when I was 12. Had my parents knew what I was doing at 12, they would have stopped it immediately.
I had a GF online at 13 years old. she was 20. know how fucked up that shit is?
today, that kind of shit is even more prevalent. So no, at least for my kids, they won't get phones or smart watches or tablets that they can take into their rooms. alone. at night.
being able to communicate does not require access to a personal device. I have a house phone, I have a PC available to them. I block all major social media platforms on the network. by allowing a device the ability to circumvent those protections I have put in place, I only negate my own hard work.
20 years ago I was eight, I am thinking more of when I was 15. So we're talking 10 years ago not 20
None of their friends have phones.