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When I was young, we had great big family get togethers.
My parents divorced when I was like 5. On my dad's side we did Thanksgiving in the fall. And my grandma's birthday in the spring.
On my mom's side we did a birthday party every few months and put the closest names (3 to 6) on the cake. Christmas and Easter too.
Now that most of the older generation has pass away, we don't get together until someone dies. And that sucks! Want to be happy to see each other, but the circumstances suck. So I'm usually pretty happy to have any reason to see them nowadays.
But if it's only going to stress you out or give you a panic attack, don't go... Not everyone was raised the same or grow the same. Do you.
I can't really say anything about the spiritualism.