this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2025
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Not that anyone really sought out my number or that I solicited one from someone I didn't know well, but when I was dating, rejection hotlines were popular.
I also saw mentioned once or twice that there was a special drink you could order that basically meant "help, I don't feel safe with this guy". Was/Is that widespread, too?
I think that's location dependent.
I've also read about hand signals and other covert ways of communicating. They might be worth trying in a desperate situation, but it seems unwise to rely on them except as a last resort.
The problem that I see with trying to create subtle but universal signals is that if everyone knows them, they're now just overt messages.
However, almost all of my dating has been (or at least started) online and I've never been the subject of a creepy guy's attention, so I can't speak with authority on the topic.
This just happened recently: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/woman-secretly-uses-hand-signal-help-7-eleven-man-arrested-domestic-vi-rcna229125
Yeah - I think that's the hand signal I read about. I'm glad the woman in question was able to get help.
Well I assumed it's a different drink in every bar. And advertised in the women's toilet.
edit: Sorry, bathroom
You're right. If they're doing it right, bars won't suggest "angel shots" any more, because abusers recognise that signal too. They'll have their own signals posted on the wall in the women's toilets. The simplest one I've seen is one of those remote doorbell thingies in one cubicle, the idea being you lock yourself in the cubicle, ring the bell, and don't open the door until the bouncer arrives.
That seems plausible.
Some bars will have that, typically it'll be on a poster in the ladies room.
I don't think there's a universal one, but each bar would have their own.
Angel shot was the common one I knew about.
It's the result of a (partly) dangerous society, but somehow so cool. I've never seen anything like it but then I don't go to the ladies' room. Hm. Have to ask my IRL friends.
Angel shot. It's widespread but not universal