this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2025
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I think that's location dependent.
I've also read about hand signals and other covert ways of communicating. They might be worth trying in a desperate situation, but it seems unwise to rely on them except as a last resort.
The problem that I see with trying to create subtle but universal signals is that if everyone knows them, they're now just overt messages.
However, almost all of my dating has been (or at least started) online and I've never been the subject of a creepy guy's attention, so I can't speak with authority on the topic.
This just happened recently: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/woman-secretly-uses-hand-signal-help-7-eleven-man-arrested-domestic-vi-rcna229125
Yeah - I think that's the hand signal I read about. I'm glad the woman in question was able to get help.
Well I assumed it's a different drink in every bar. And advertised in the women's toilet.
edit: Sorry, bathroom
You're right. If they're doing it right, bars won't suggest "angel shots" any more, because abusers recognise that signal too. They'll have their own signals posted on the wall in the women's toilets. The simplest one I've seen is one of those remote doorbell thingies in one cubicle, the idea being you lock yourself in the cubicle, ring the bell, and don't open the door until the bouncer arrives.
That seems plausible.